Kaily

I feel bad posting yet another miserable post amongst so many positive people BUT I am waiting and hoping for my lightbulb moment.
My drinking is getting heavier and heavier, yesterday a full size bottle of port and same of brandy of brandy, I was ridiculously sick and then carried on but I rarely get the desired effect anymore hence why the mixture of actually awful drinks although they are barely touching my mood or giving me "the feel good" feeling, so what now??

beautifulpines

Hi Kaily - in my end days of drinking - the booze didn't work at all - just made me isolate from everyone. It became not what now? - but rather, stop or die . For some reason I have been able to let the Beast go, using AVRT and it is working. I tried AA for years and met many folks that it worked for. Keep on posting, reading and know that you are so worth being sober.

Nonsensical

You already know, that's why you're here.



How can we help?

paddyjnr1

Hi Kaily,I'm sorry to hear you are in bad spirits right now, I too am coming up from a bender, 7 days today without a drink.
The first I did was put the top on the bottle but only if you can get seen by your GP within 2 hours of doing so as alcohol withdrawal without medical intervention can be fatal for some or cause seizures.
You can also go to nearest hospital and get the crisis intervention team on board who will hook you up to IV vitamin B , it works wonders for the nervous system. So my advice is get medical intervention first. The medical profession are very understanding around this..
God bless you and keep us posted

doggonecarl

So, alcohol is no longer delivering on it promise of feeling good, relaxation, escape, whatever?

Then it's time to quit and learn how to live and love the sober life. You've been trying the former; time to try the latter.

zombob

Been there did that. I was pretty distraught just a little over 3 weeks ago feeling the same--only drinking to keep sweating/shakes at bay. It's pretty much the end of the road for us K. Can you get a 3 day detox? Outpatient? Obviously something different (action-wise) is needed.

GhostFace

It's time plan for recovery.

Are you serious about quiting and know that you can never drink again?

Fly N Buy

There is no one here who at some point didn't feel like you do. We all started from ground zero. For me today the difference is I had to reach that point I was mangled and was ready to become willing to change.

No one could tell me how to get to that point - I simply had to go through a vast amount of pain where my consequences of drinking were bad enough to say I'm out.

The elevator to the basement has many floors, we don't have to go all the way down. Wherever we get off is up to us and the first step in seeking the help we need.

FreeOwl

What now?

Well... that depends....

Are you ready to choose life instead of this pattern?

Are you prepared to embrace sobriety?

Are you done trying to recapture the false and fleeting 'goodness' of booze and get on with living life without that haze?

If so - then it's time to take actions to support that choice.

FreeOwl

(Oh... if not... then "what next"? = probably more of the same, except worse)

Soberwolf

I'm going to be brutally honest from my own experience

Kaily with drinking like that (I used to drink a litre of vodka a day at my worst) I ended up in hospital many times because of vomiting blood it became almost normal at the end I'm ashamed to say that but yeah that was me

That kind of stuff although I wish will not happen to you will happen to you if you continue you are guaranteed of that

So what now ?

ardy

Hi Kathy.. golly kiddo.. maybe its everything spinning out there too. stop kiddo just stop ... you are better then that.. and even if we never see each other face to face .. I and so many others carry you with us every day... prayers so many many prayers and the sun will shine and it will get better promise.. for I was so down untill I got to see a young person that now lives in New York.. sometimes its just the little things that help so much.. love ardy

ScottFromWI

I know the feeling Kaily. My drinking progressed in a similar fashion. For many years I drank because it was fun and the repercussions were manageable. As it progressed over the years, I started drinking every day and more each day. At that point I drank just to feel "normal". After that, i hit the stage where you seem to be - I couldn't drink enough to even feel normal anymore and it actually started making things worse. That's when I chose to throw in the towel, and it was worth it in more ways than I can share now. The final stage is when you drink yourself to death...literally. Your organs start failing, your mental state deteriorates, and you die - because of your drinking. You still have time to stop before that happens....get some help, whether it's AA or some other organized group, or see a doctor/counselor. Much better things await if you can put down the bottle.

ardy

entropy1964

Hi Kaily
People in recovery write a lot about how booze 'doesn't work anymore'. That can mean so many things, really. The obvious being it no longer relieves whatever it was I was looking for relief from (sorry, bad sentence)...anxiety, anger, loneliness, fear, boredom. Whatever. And the negative consequences begin to greatly out way any possible positive upside.

But the thing that I don't share specifically is that it really, truly doesn't 'work'. The drug stops having its euphoric, anesthetizing affect. Now whether that happens before the drug stops working psychologically or after, I'm not sure. But that's really the final final. All I get is stupid, sloppy and sick. The second to last time I drank about 8 months ago I only had 2 drinks. I got a slight buzz and stopped (why? I don't know). That is as good as it gets. After that I'm just chasing some elusive white whale of a high that just isn't there. Drinking just simply does not work! So what now? Face my feelings. Sit with them. Learn to live awake.

Anna

One of the scariest things about alcoholism is that it continues to worsen as long as you are drinking. It sounds like you are in a dark place right now. Are you ready to stop drinking? I hope so.

SoberLeigh

Really great advice here, Kaily.

Here are some links which may help you get started with a solid plan for sobriety:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

https://store.samhsa.gov/shin/conten...0/SMA-3720.pdf

You can do this, Kaily.

Nuke

It is amazing that a substance that no longer gives any pleasure can still hold a death grip on people like us who cannot control our intake. It had been a number of years where drinking was no longer "fun" for me, but the habit of it and the taste of it kept me coming back.

I have "stopped" more times than I can count, just to go back to the same issues, hoping that I could once again get enjoyment out of alcohol, just to be disappointed that I could not reach the point that I wanted to achieve.

I kept going back because I had not made up in my mind that I no longer wanted to deal with all of the BS that goes along with my alcohol consumption. Now, I have accepted that fact, and realize that as much as I want a beer, there is nothing good waiting for me at the bottom of that glass.

As hard as it sounds, life really is better (plus I save a boat load of money).

There is a ton of support here, you got this!

Kaily

I just need and want help

JD

Are you still drinking now? If you are call an end to it. Pour anything you have left out. You can start on a better journey now.