Sleepless in New Hampshire
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Concord, NH
Posts: 9
Sleepless in New Hampshire
This is my first post on these forums and I'm just keeping myself busy while I try to make it through the next 24 hours.
I slept from around 12:30am to 1:30am. That makes 5 out of 13 nights on which I slept one or more hours. The other nights had zero hours sleep. I've been battling addiction for 35 years but only admitted that I was powerless--that my life had become unmanageable in October 2015. I feel like a dummy for not getting the AA program for so long but mental agility has been a barrier not a help.
I can't always sit still among a bunch of men I don't know, most of whom smell like cigarettes, when I'm full of anxiety. Still, I hope to go to meetings, make friends, and achieve some sort of stable life that I can tolerate without alcohol or other drugs. There are a wide variety of AA meetings in my town and some are more comfortable for me than others.
I read about the xa dash speakers dot org site on this forum and it has some great recordings of speaker meetings but I would rather type than listen to an mp3 right now.
I just realized what woke me up an hour ago: It was a vivid alcohol/addiction/using dream. It was horribly realistic. I hope that growing confidence in my ability to remain sober will make these dreams less frequent and powerful. That's all I've got to work with right now: that little bit of hope.
Additional hope/suggestions are welcome.
I slept from around 12:30am to 1:30am. That makes 5 out of 13 nights on which I slept one or more hours. The other nights had zero hours sleep. I've been battling addiction for 35 years but only admitted that I was powerless--that my life had become unmanageable in October 2015. I feel like a dummy for not getting the AA program for so long but mental agility has been a barrier not a help.
I can't always sit still among a bunch of men I don't know, most of whom smell like cigarettes, when I'm full of anxiety. Still, I hope to go to meetings, make friends, and achieve some sort of stable life that I can tolerate without alcohol or other drugs. There are a wide variety of AA meetings in my town and some are more comfortable for me than others.
I read about the xa dash speakers dot org site on this forum and it has some great recordings of speaker meetings but I would rather type than listen to an mp3 right now.
I just realized what woke me up an hour ago: It was a vivid alcohol/addiction/using dream. It was horribly realistic. I hope that growing confidence in my ability to remain sober will make these dreams less frequent and powerful. That's all I've got to work with right now: that little bit of hope.
Additional hope/suggestions are welcome.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome waffelafel 
sleeping problems are pretty common in early recovery, but they get better for most of us.
The same thing applies to those hyper vivid dreams too - to be they weren't a manifestation of my subconscious desire to drink - it was just me using up a lot of drinking memories.. They fade too
Of course, it's worrying you or impeding your day to day life seeing a Dr is not the worst suggestion you could hear here.
You've found a great place for support and for fanning that little spark of hope.
This is a great little community
sleeping problems are pretty common in early recovery, but they get better for most of us.
The same thing applies to those hyper vivid dreams too - to be they weren't a manifestation of my subconscious desire to drink - it was just me using up a lot of drinking memories.. They fade too
Of course, it's worrying you or impeding your day to day life seeing a Dr is not the worst suggestion you could hear here.
You've found a great place for support and for fanning that little spark of hope.
This is a great little community
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Concord, NH
Posts: 9
Dee74, thanks for the encouragement. Nights like this one are so discouraging. Seeking medical attention is good advice. I finished a six day medically supervised detox last week and I'm on day 13 of sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: LBC, CA
Posts: 203
I remember the nightmares, off sleep cycles, and the sweats from the first time I tried quitting about two years ago. I was heavy into the drinking when I tried to stop my body took a dump on itself. It gets a lot easier.
I am day 15, didn't even realize I was only one day away from my from my first goal. For about years I was not able to go past 16 days until about a few months ago this year. I am on day 15 because I decided to pick up after I completed a short-term goal of 100 days to try an moderate... didn't work, struggled like hell to stop again but here I am, 15 days
Let's do better than our best to get far being sober while we are alive.
I am day 15, didn't even realize I was only one day away from my from my first goal. For about years I was not able to go past 16 days until about a few months ago this year. I am on day 15 because I decided to pick up after I completed a short-term goal of 100 days to try an moderate... didn't work, struggled like hell to stop again but here I am, 15 days
Let's do better than our best to get far being sober while we are alive.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Concord, NH
Posts: 9
gettingsmarter, thanks for the support. Hanging tight is difficult when day 13 of sobriety is so fraught with anxiety. I can only hope that I settle down enough to attend a meeting tonight. Beyond a certain level of anxiety/jittery feeling, it's better for me to just walk or clean or do something active.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
You are doing this waffel. Congrats. The thing I like about SR is there is always someone here. Dee is the night shift mod by default (aussie)and truly the best this site has to offer. I am not too far ahead of you day-wise but do awaken early (3:20 today) and always log on to connect right after starting coffee. I can also just get up and do what I need to and come back. I get what I need here. I did go to a meeting a couple days ago but find it hard to sit for a whole hour anymore. Also there were the same 12 older guys with like 1000 yrs combined sobriety that were there 6 yrs ago and one newcomer (actually a returner from 5 yrs prior). Was glad to see everyone and shook hands with the newcomer but when folks ask what I've been doing I tell them "cyber-recovery At SR". It works well for me. You know there are other AA sites too if it really speaks to your recovery. Anyhoo, glad you are here and keep doing anything but drink--busywork qualifies Oh, if it seems slow use the PM feature to holler at someone you find you relate to. I do it all the time and have had only 1 non-response and zero shrug-offs.
Oh, if it seems slow use the PM feature to holler at someone you find you relate to. I do it all the time and have had only 1 non-response and zero shrug-offs.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
It's different for everyone. I was usually ok by 10 days to two weeks but others were shorter than that, and others longer...
there's common sense things you can do to help:
10 tips to beat insomnia - Live Well - NHS Choices
D
there's common sense things you can do to help:
10 tips to beat insomnia - Live Well - NHS Choices
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Welcome Waffel
The anxiety definitely improves. I'm just like you, no sleep, nervous energy. My house is never more clean and organized when I'm in this state. Just don't drink because you'll be sent right back to start, or worse. Hang in there, you're doing great.
The anxiety definitely improves. I'm just like you, no sleep, nervous energy. My house is never more clean and organized when I'm in this state. Just don't drink because you'll be sent right back to start, or worse. Hang in there, you're doing great.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
Hi and welcome! I am sorry you are having issues with sleep and anxiety, though as you have seen from other responses it is pretty common.
There are a couple of things you can do that will help both the anxiety and the trouble sleeping.
First, I'd go see your doctor because even vitamins should be regulated. But a good rule of thumb is extra vitamin B (alcoholics are usually deficient) and a multi-vitamin. Take your vitamins in the morning or after lunch, always after eating something so they don't upset your stomach. Taking vitamins at night can interfere with good sleep.
You can also add some cleansing foods/supplements to your diet. The jury is out on if they really do any good and in fact your liver is really good at healing itself without any help but I find doing these things helps my anxiety about any damage I might have done and also give me something healthy, healing and positive to do for myself each day.
I start the day with a glass of warm water (it being warm is important, don't ask me why, but that's what the ol' internet says) with the juice of 1 lemon in it. Supposedly this is cleansing. It is also good for digestion, energy and helps clear you skin.
ISome good foods to add to your diet which are cleansing but also help regulate wake/rest are artichokes (which are in season now, at least they are here in Italy), garlic, onions, turmeric and ginger.
Italians have an old wives tale that artichokes make you sleep better! So maybe a nice risotto with sautéed artichokes for dinner?
To help you sleep you might want to take a warm bath at night. If you don't have a bathtub you could take a hot, steamy shower. The heat in the bath water or the steam in the shower helps to pull toxins from your body. In the bath you can add epsom salts, baking soda and apple cider vinegar which also help to pull out toxins.
A nice cup of herbal tea at night before bed is also a good idea. Celestial Seasonings makes a delicious tea called "Tension Tamer"
Try turning down the heat in your bedroom to the point it is actually quite cool. Then sleep under heavy, warm blankets. This is a technique I have read for people who suffer from insomnia. Some lavender on the pillow or fresh sprigs in the bedroom also help create a sleepy environment.
Another idea is to spend some time each night, I usually do this while already in bed ready to sleep, thinking about your sober day and thanking the universe, God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, the stars above, anyone for the fact that you made it another day sober. Upon waking ask the heavens or the dirt beneath you for the will to make it through another day sober.
Lastly, exercise, exercise, exercise. Getting your heartbeat up, a little sweat going and even working the the point of light muscle soreness is great for a restful night's sleep. The gym is fantastic, but I bet a long, fast walk in the cool New Hampshire air would be fantastic. The leaves must be gorgeous this time of year.
As for the AA meetings, keep going if you like them. Get around to a couple of different groups if you are able, you might find a place you click. If you don't like the smell of cigarette smoke, I think they offer non-smoking meetings.
It really will get better. The one thing to remember though is that if you take that first sip you are right back where you left out. You don't get to start at the beginning again, your alcoholism will pick back up from where you were. And then, you'll have to go through this all over again. The best way forward is to keep pushing through with the faith that it will get better. Read around, you'll see hundreds of success stories to give you hope. I know they give me hope.
There are a couple of things you can do that will help both the anxiety and the trouble sleeping.
First, I'd go see your doctor because even vitamins should be regulated. But a good rule of thumb is extra vitamin B (alcoholics are usually deficient) and a multi-vitamin. Take your vitamins in the morning or after lunch, always after eating something so they don't upset your stomach. Taking vitamins at night can interfere with good sleep.
You can also add some cleansing foods/supplements to your diet. The jury is out on if they really do any good and in fact your liver is really good at healing itself without any help but I find doing these things helps my anxiety about any damage I might have done and also give me something healthy, healing and positive to do for myself each day.
I start the day with a glass of warm water (it being warm is important, don't ask me why, but that's what the ol' internet says) with the juice of 1 lemon in it. Supposedly this is cleansing. It is also good for digestion, energy and helps clear you skin.
ISome good foods to add to your diet which are cleansing but also help regulate wake/rest are artichokes (which are in season now, at least they are here in Italy), garlic, onions, turmeric and ginger.
Italians have an old wives tale that artichokes make you sleep better! So maybe a nice risotto with sautéed artichokes for dinner?
To help you sleep you might want to take a warm bath at night. If you don't have a bathtub you could take a hot, steamy shower. The heat in the bath water or the steam in the shower helps to pull toxins from your body. In the bath you can add epsom salts, baking soda and apple cider vinegar which also help to pull out toxins.
A nice cup of herbal tea at night before bed is also a good idea. Celestial Seasonings makes a delicious tea called "Tension Tamer"
Try turning down the heat in your bedroom to the point it is actually quite cool. Then sleep under heavy, warm blankets. This is a technique I have read for people who suffer from insomnia. Some lavender on the pillow or fresh sprigs in the bedroom also help create a sleepy environment.
Another idea is to spend some time each night, I usually do this while already in bed ready to sleep, thinking about your sober day and thanking the universe, God, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, the stars above, anyone for the fact that you made it another day sober. Upon waking ask the heavens or the dirt beneath you for the will to make it through another day sober.
Lastly, exercise, exercise, exercise. Getting your heartbeat up, a little sweat going and even working the the point of light muscle soreness is great for a restful night's sleep. The gym is fantastic, but I bet a long, fast walk in the cool New Hampshire air would be fantastic. The leaves must be gorgeous this time of year.
As for the AA meetings, keep going if you like them. Get around to a couple of different groups if you are able, you might find a place you click. If you don't like the smell of cigarette smoke, I think they offer non-smoking meetings.
It really will get better. The one thing to remember though is that if you take that first sip you are right back where you left out. You don't get to start at the beginning again, your alcoholism will pick back up from where you were. And then, you'll have to go through this all over again. The best way forward is to keep pushing through with the faith that it will get better. Read around, you'll see hundreds of success stories to give you hope. I know they give me hope.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
waffelafel - welcome, glad you decided to join us at SR. I too attend meetings but had to certainly find a group for me that resonated. That group focuses on the common solution, being the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I went to meetings, got a sponsor and did step work. I have made an entirely new circle of friends and cherish the fellowship. But, relief from my drinking was not in stale cigarette smells (yuk) or humorous/sad drinking stories. It was in working the program of recovery suggested.
Sleep will come more frequently with greater duration the longer we stay off the alcohol et al - it's difficult at first but the body is amazing resilient, fortunately.
Thanks for the post and welcome
Sleep will come more frequently with greater duration the longer we stay off the alcohol et al - it's difficult at first but the body is amazing resilient, fortunately.
Thanks for the post and welcome
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Concord, NH
Posts: 9
Meraviglioso and Fly N Buy, thanks for the great tips. It's hard to hold on to hope when I neither slept well nor had tools for coping with anxiety before I picked up alcohol. That's why I started drinking in the first place! I don't have a tolerable baseline I can go back to--I never had one in the first place!
But you guys have some great tips that I will be trying. Thank you.
But you guys have some great tips that I will be trying. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,426
Herbal tea, hot showers, lots of exercise, quality food and hydration were basics I did daily,
and also I read novels, started a journal, and watched old movies when I couldn't sleep or woke up.
I read all of Game of Thrones books if you can believe it. . . whatever relaxes or distracts your mind a bit.
Gradually, the anxiety died down and I began getting blocks of sleep--
the key for me was just embracing the wakefulness as peacefully as possible
so I didn't whip myself up into a stressed frenzy.
I also had night sweats and changed my sheets often, plus extra showers.
It was close to a month for me before I started to really get some rest. . .
this varies so don't worry about a timetable.
Keep moving forward through this--you drank for a long time and it will take time
for your body and mind to adjust and heal, but that feeling of peace is worth it.
Post a lot here if you need support--knowing you aren't alone and others understand how you are feeling helps.
and also I read novels, started a journal, and watched old movies when I couldn't sleep or woke up.
I read all of Game of Thrones books if you can believe it. . . whatever relaxes or distracts your mind a bit.
Gradually, the anxiety died down and I began getting blocks of sleep--
the key for me was just embracing the wakefulness as peacefully as possible
so I didn't whip myself up into a stressed frenzy.
I also had night sweats and changed my sheets often, plus extra showers.
It was close to a month for me before I started to really get some rest. . .
this varies so don't worry about a timetable.
Keep moving forward through this--you drank for a long time and it will take time
for your body and mind to adjust and heal, but that feeling of peace is worth it.
Post a lot here if you need support--knowing you aren't alone and others understand how you are feeling helps.
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