phlowing

I called in sick today with what I am thinking is half mental, half physical "cold" symptoms. Feel crappy and weak all over. Feel isolated and going through the motions at work. Haven't drank in almost four months, and exersizing and meditating. Realizing I have social anxieties, and old friends i feel comfortable with are too busy with family or too far away to "hang out"., and have a hard time creating new connections with others (always easy when drinking). I have also recently been diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, something that has been lurking underneath, being masked by my drinking in the past. Going to try ADHD meds when I meet with my mental health counselor next week, I just feel stuck. Do I forge out a new career path after only recently changed jobs? And where to? Do I stick it out for the routine and paycheck that is good for me, and may get better with meds and continued sober time? I'm mentally and emotionally drained, and cravings to drinkk all of this away are creeping in. Figured I would post here as I read this site from titme to time, instead of all this swirling around my head. Off for a nap and make myself productive rest of the day. Thanks for listening.

FreeOwl

These all seem like pretty 'normal' thoughts at 4 months to me.

Everything you describe is very similar to what I went through about that time.

I kept not drinking
I kept going to AA
I kept seeing my therapist
I kept exercising
I kept working on being present
I kept not going to bars or places focused on drinking
I kept seeking new activities
I kept trying to do things each week to connect with people
I kept working on gratitude
I kept journaling
I kept training in martial arts
I kept working at my job, realizing that while it wasn't my dream job it paid well and kept me in benefits and I kept focusing on the good parts of it while trying not to let it consume me.
I kept chipping away at working the steps
I kept reading The Big Book
I kept logging on and participating here at Soberrecovery

And this morning at the Gratitude Tuesday Early Bird I was able to sincerely share my gratitude for being;

Happy
Out of debt
Free of a desire to drink
Able to face and accept my emotional ups and downs without drugs or booze
Able to go through a difficult weekend losing my dog and facing the news of the world that dragged me down -without even thinking about drinking

Try to remind yourself that it takes time and that it's normal and OK to feel stuck. Try to remind yourself that progress, not perfection is the goal. Try to remind yourself to look for the progress. Try to remind yourself that progress can be measured in many ways, large and small, and that if we seek progress we will find it - every day.

Hang in there, keep sharing, keep not drinking, keep doing the next right thing.

Soberwolf

Get well soon & sleep well friend

doggonecarl

I have five years sober and I still have down days. It's not helped by the colder weather and the sun going down before 6 pm. You very well might have a cold or something coming on. Either way, don't let it get in the way of your recovery.

Anna

I think the important thing here is to listen to your body. It's telling you that you are tired, sick with a cold and need some rest. Accept that you don't have to make all the tough decisions today or tomorrow. In fact, deciding not to decide right now is a decision in itself. Have faith that things will work out and you will find the energy to know what is the right path in your life.

Ruby2

Ditto what everyone else said. Push through. Right around 3 to 6 months sober I had a lot of down days. I don't particularly like my job but the routine was very helpful to me. I kept pushing forward. I kept reaching out, here and in real life. Maybe come on here and be more active in posting and reading. I had to get out of my own head and reach out to others.

Hang in there.

FarToGo

Lots of great advice, support and wisdom posted already Phowing. You did a very positive thing letting people on here know what you're going through.
We're with you, just ask.
xx

phlowing

Seriously tahnks for the kind words. Spent the day napping, cooking, got out for a haircut, a quick run, and capped it off with a smart recovery meeting (works for me over AA so far in my journey). Much needed day off. Again thanks, going to try and find myself looking around here more often.

Venecia

Hello, Phlowing!

I agree with everything else others said here. It's also helpful to get sunlight and fresh air. Not as easy as we'd like this time of year, but it matters, I'm convinced.

There's so much support here. Jump in. You'll be glad you did.