Choices
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Central KY
Posts: 40
Choices
Dearest SR members,
I dont post on here very much, but here goes....
Ive been on a recent spell of unemployment, and like so many others, that isnt real good for me. Nothing like a depressed, anxious individual drinkin to deal with their problems. Ive been trying to deal with my drinkin for some time, and is the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life. Luckily, I am now in the position of having several different job offers available to me.
One is back home in CT near my parents and the home where I grew up. My parents are getting along in their years, and I have been wanting to spend more time with them. As a young man, I was quite rebellious, partied a lot, and generally gave my parents many sleepless nights. As a young man, I cared little for their conservative religious beliefs, as they did not go well with my desire to get ****ed up. Many years have gone by, and I miss my mom and dad dearly. They were always there for me when i got into trouble. The job offer I have there is not competitive with the others I have on the table.
The other job offer is in Ohio, and is much more competitive financially, especially considering the cost of living in CT. It also fits better with my personal life plans of buying a home in the country, at a price I can afford. (CT is extremely expensive). If it were not for my parents, the choice would be a complete no-brainer.
So I had proceeded with the Ohio option, but something inside keeps nagging at me. I keep thinking about my parents aging, as well as my drinking. It has kept me away from family functions and closeness over the years. This choice will dictate the direction my life takes for many years to come. I have noticed my AV being very active lately, saying "hey if youre in Ohio, you can drink like you want to" "you won't be happy in CT" etc.
I am trying to break my life long cycle of destructive, self-centered choices. I have been been praying for God's will, not mine. Even though I have been thinking Ohio, a little voice inside of me is saying, you need to go to CT, spend years with mom and dad, and quit drinking. Not that the two choice are mutually exclusive with quitting drinking, but my parents give me a strength and hope that I do not feel when living alone. ( I tend to isolate myself in rural areas, perhaps due in part to my proclivity for heavy drinking, oh yeah and deer huntin',though not at the same time lol).
So, Ive been prayin for God to let me know what I should do.
Life is full of choices, I just want to start making the right ones. Sorry for the long post, I just want to include a link to a song by George Jones, another well known alcoholic who struggled with his own choices Im sure. This song makes me tear up every single time I hear it.
Any input or thoughts are always welcome.
God Bless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuzR0ZCyGX8
Forgive me if this post is not relevant to Newcomers category, but that is what I am. A newcomer to Sobriety.
I dont post on here very much, but here goes....
Ive been on a recent spell of unemployment, and like so many others, that isnt real good for me. Nothing like a depressed, anxious individual drinkin to deal with their problems. Ive been trying to deal with my drinkin for some time, and is the hardest thing I've ever had to face in my life. Luckily, I am now in the position of having several different job offers available to me.
One is back home in CT near my parents and the home where I grew up. My parents are getting along in their years, and I have been wanting to spend more time with them. As a young man, I was quite rebellious, partied a lot, and generally gave my parents many sleepless nights. As a young man, I cared little for their conservative religious beliefs, as they did not go well with my desire to get ****ed up. Many years have gone by, and I miss my mom and dad dearly. They were always there for me when i got into trouble. The job offer I have there is not competitive with the others I have on the table.
The other job offer is in Ohio, and is much more competitive financially, especially considering the cost of living in CT. It also fits better with my personal life plans of buying a home in the country, at a price I can afford. (CT is extremely expensive). If it were not for my parents, the choice would be a complete no-brainer.
So I had proceeded with the Ohio option, but something inside keeps nagging at me. I keep thinking about my parents aging, as well as my drinking. It has kept me away from family functions and closeness over the years. This choice will dictate the direction my life takes for many years to come. I have noticed my AV being very active lately, saying "hey if youre in Ohio, you can drink like you want to" "you won't be happy in CT" etc.
I am trying to break my life long cycle of destructive, self-centered choices. I have been been praying for God's will, not mine. Even though I have been thinking Ohio, a little voice inside of me is saying, you need to go to CT, spend years with mom and dad, and quit drinking. Not that the two choice are mutually exclusive with quitting drinking, but my parents give me a strength and hope that I do not feel when living alone. ( I tend to isolate myself in rural areas, perhaps due in part to my proclivity for heavy drinking, oh yeah and deer huntin',though not at the same time lol).
So, Ive been prayin for God to let me know what I should do.
Life is full of choices, I just want to start making the right ones. Sorry for the long post, I just want to include a link to a song by George Jones, another well known alcoholic who struggled with his own choices Im sure. This song makes me tear up every single time I hear it.
Any input or thoughts are always welcome.
God Bless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuzR0ZCyGX8
Forgive me if this post is not relevant to Newcomers category, but that is what I am. A newcomer to Sobriety.
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
You have two separate issues. Drinking and where you want to live. Don't tie them together. There's no way you know that moving to where your parents are will keep you from drinking. That's an independent choice you'll have to make.
In regards to where to live, that's something you'll have to let your heart and head guide you. But don't let that influence your drinking.
In regards to where to live, that's something you'll have to let your heart and head guide you. But don't let that influence your drinking.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
When I drank for many years I had no idea what the right thing was - turns out the best decision I ever made was to stop. I simply blew around like a dried up leaf in a fall breeze having zero idea what I really liked or what was best for my life.
In sobriety I am tuned in to the sunlight of the spirit and have a better understanding of my obligations to God and how to be in touch with His will for me daily.
Wherever you end up friend, get the help you need here and elsewhere. You'll find life much fuller and less chaotic.
Thanks for the post
In sobriety I am tuned in to the sunlight of the spirit and have a better understanding of my obligations to God and how to be in touch with His will for me daily.
Wherever you end up friend, get the help you need here and elsewhere. You'll find life much fuller and less chaotic.
Thanks for the post
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 268
Hello OldSkool,
I can relate with what you are going through and I can see how your AV is trying to tie your decision on where to go with your drinking. I have an idea. How about making a conscious decision to stop drinking first? Your decision on where to go will be much easier then. When you stop drinking you will see the full potential of what you could do and become no matter where you relocate to. Remember this also, even if you went to a place where no one knew you, you will know you. You are worth every bit of sobriety, and you can do it for yourself no matter who's around. As far as being around your parents, this is your life and you should make decisions based on what will enrich your life. Don't let guilt sway you to CT and don't let your AV isolate you in OH. I have faith that you will choose the best location for you and your life!
I can relate with what you are going through and I can see how your AV is trying to tie your decision on where to go with your drinking. I have an idea. How about making a conscious decision to stop drinking first? Your decision on where to go will be much easier then. When you stop drinking you will see the full potential of what you could do and become no matter where you relocate to. Remember this also, even if you went to a place where no one knew you, you will know you. You are worth every bit of sobriety, and you can do it for yourself no matter who's around. As far as being around your parents, this is your life and you should make decisions based on what will enrich your life. Don't let guilt sway you to CT and don't let your AV isolate you in OH. I have faith that you will choose the best location for you and your life!
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
I'm not sure which you should choose.... but I quit drinking 4 months ago and moved from California (where I'd been falling apart) to Philadelphia (where my mother lives, and the rest of my family not far). I'd also been away for a long time.
It's really been wonderful for me, and as this is my second time getting sober, I can say that it's made it easier. I'd forgotten what it feels like to live near someone who always wants the best for me. It helps me want the best for myself. I've had barely any serious temptations because being close to my family reminds me that I have to do this for them, too.
Good luck though, either way.
It's really been wonderful for me, and as this is my second time getting sober, I can say that it's made it easier. I'd forgotten what it feels like to live near someone who always wants the best for me. It helps me want the best for myself. I've had barely any serious temptations because being close to my family reminds me that I have to do this for them, too.
Good luck though, either way.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Glad you work options have improved. But to echo the others, if you don't stop drinking, it really doesn't matter what choice you make. Alcohol has a way of reshaping career goals.
If one of those choices will help with sobriety, then that's the one you should make.
If one of those choices will help with sobriety, then that's the one you should make.
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
I am glad you have two options for jobs. If your really serious about stopping drinking you already know what choice to make. I avoided doing what I knew would be the best path for years simply because I was not serious enough about getting sober.
I hope you make the right choice but after making many bad choices myself I know how hard it can be. It was always an easy way out for me to run and hide in a bottle, putting it down for good is hard but worth it.
I hope you make the right choice but after making many bad choices myself I know how hard it can be. It was always an easy way out for me to run and hide in a bottle, putting it down for good is hard but worth it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
We in recovery are given many gifts in
life, one being the gift of sobriety living
with tools and knowledge of our addiction
and an affective program consisting of
steps and principle to incorporate in all
areas of our life.
Sobriety doesn't have to be complicate.
In fact they insist on us being happy,
healthy and honest and most of all,
SIMPLICITY.
You'd be surprised that the right
answer is right there in front of you.
We don't have to be millionaires living
in recovery because we are rich enough
in Faith, hope and love.
I moved to Houston back in the day
with my little family, not my choice,
but for our children to have more
opportunities in education and life
choices.
I was about 6 yrs sober at that time,
an at home mom and wife. The entire
time I was there, I longed to return to
my hometown to my recovery family,
fellowship, familiarity.
As my kids grew, matured, college
degreed, careers, my 25 yr marriage
came to an end when I did the footwork
in my own recovery, prayed, turning my
will and life into the Hands of my HP
for guidance, strength and direction.
As an at home mom most of my life
with a few jobs in retail and banking,
service work, I drew on my experiences
from the past to get me that golden job
ticket back to my hometown in banking.
That golden ticket wasn't meant to
keep me in banking, but just to get
me home and from there I applied
to other jobs and finally one in a bakery.
With daily practice of my recovery
program taught to me 25 yrs ago
relying on my Faith, I am in a good
place in my life remarried, retired,
sober and continueing not to waste
a minute of worrying about what
will happen next in my on going
journey in life.
I always wanted to live a simple,
happy, healthy life. One that is
not in the fast lane like the traffic
in Houston.
Today im am blessed
with just enough to keep me happy,
healthy, honest.
Just to know that I am given just
what is needed to survive and live
upon melts the stress of life away
as I continue to practice all those
vital steps and principles of an
effective program taught to me
25 yrs ago on a daily bases.
life, one being the gift of sobriety living
with tools and knowledge of our addiction
and an affective program consisting of
steps and principle to incorporate in all
areas of our life.
Sobriety doesn't have to be complicate.
In fact they insist on us being happy,
healthy and honest and most of all,
SIMPLICITY.
You'd be surprised that the right
answer is right there in front of you.
We don't have to be millionaires living
in recovery because we are rich enough
in Faith, hope and love.
I moved to Houston back in the day
with my little family, not my choice,
but for our children to have more
opportunities in education and life
choices.
I was about 6 yrs sober at that time,
an at home mom and wife. The entire
time I was there, I longed to return to
my hometown to my recovery family,
fellowship, familiarity.
As my kids grew, matured, college
degreed, careers, my 25 yr marriage
came to an end when I did the footwork
in my own recovery, prayed, turning my
will and life into the Hands of my HP
for guidance, strength and direction.
As an at home mom most of my life
with a few jobs in retail and banking,
service work, I drew on my experiences
from the past to get me that golden job
ticket back to my hometown in banking.
That golden ticket wasn't meant to
keep me in banking, but just to get
me home and from there I applied
to other jobs and finally one in a bakery.
With daily practice of my recovery
program taught to me 25 yrs ago
relying on my Faith, I am in a good
place in my life remarried, retired,
sober and continueing not to waste
a minute of worrying about what
will happen next in my on going
journey in life.
I always wanted to live a simple,
happy, healthy life. One that is
not in the fast lane like the traffic
in Houston.
Today im am blessed with just enough to keep me happy,
healthy, honest.
Just to know that I am given just
what is needed to survive and live
upon melts the stress of life away
as I continue to practice all those
vital steps and principles of an
effective program taught to me
25 yrs ago on a daily bases.
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