Out of control
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Out of control
Ok so I'm out of control and I've lost control...
I really don't know what I was going on about social life and all that.
When I drink I can't stop and yes there were periods the last few days were it was "enjoyable". But the consequences are having a really devastating effect.
I managed to go in to work....but the dilema last night was should I go to bed or should I keep on up all night so a hangover wouldn't kick in!!! Where's the logic in that. I didn't manage to stay in work more than three hours. Doing charlie in the bathroom. Now it's not so "enjoyable". I was the guy with a beer nodding off at a cafe at lunchtime. Alone. Jesus when I slip, I slip. I feel like jacking in the job.....
I got very emotional over the Paris situation. Yes I have a connection there, but I seem to be very sensitive. Saying sensitive meaning I seem to feel things to a very high emotional level and then a very low emotional level.......
I don't even know what I'm writing. I'm just writing that I've lost control. and it's shite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD2SfQJOK08
I'm freezing...like shaking cold
I really don't know what I was going on about social life and all that.
When I drink I can't stop and yes there were periods the last few days were it was "enjoyable". But the consequences are having a really devastating effect.
I managed to go in to work....but the dilema last night was should I go to bed or should I keep on up all night so a hangover wouldn't kick in!!! Where's the logic in that. I didn't manage to stay in work more than three hours. Doing charlie in the bathroom. Now it's not so "enjoyable". I was the guy with a beer nodding off at a cafe at lunchtime. Alone. Jesus when I slip, I slip. I feel like jacking in the job.....
I got very emotional over the Paris situation. Yes I have a connection there, but I seem to be very sensitive. Saying sensitive meaning I seem to feel things to a very high emotional level and then a very low emotional level.......
I don't even know what I'm writing. I'm just writing that I've lost control. and it's shite.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD2SfQJOK08
I'm freezing...like shaking cold
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: illinois
Posts: 907
Man I hope you feel better soon. I can tell, you are at or approaching the point where the costs outweigh the benefits. If you make that determination, moving into a more peaceful existence can start.
Thanx for the video link. Man, its been a long time since I've see that... I'm probably going to have to play the album now...
Thanx for the video link. Man, its been a long time since I've see that... I'm probably going to have to play the album now...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
This doesn't have to be your life....
What if you chose - completely - to live a rewarding and abundant life?
What if you chose - sincerely - to embrace all that life could be and has to offer, free of booze and drugs?
What if you chose - deeply, with all you have - to give yourself to a sober life, whatever it takes?
I'll tell you, for me, it made all the difference.
What if you chose - completely - to live a rewarding and abundant life?
What if you chose - sincerely - to embrace all that life could be and has to offer, free of booze and drugs?
What if you chose - deeply, with all you have - to give yourself to a sober life, whatever it takes?
I'll tell you, for me, it made all the difference.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
stupid bastards in the job are putting me under pressure. It's a weird situation that I'm in. The let a girl go that was there 2 years more than me because there wasn't enough work.....there wasn't enough for the two of us....but now there is one and a half times for me....what was a fun job now sucks....
I'm officially freelance but work for one company....they are clever, they don't have to pay my social security payments because of that. But they have a ridiculous amount of administration that I've to do and I just can't be bothered....
email today: "it must be finished today or we can't process your pay" Late with my pay again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's just so tedious..........so I'm drinking beer and smoking instead.....I don't even smoke but I'm chain smoking now!!! how did that happen!!!
I'm officially freelance but work for one company....they are clever, they don't have to pay my social security payments because of that. But they have a ridiculous amount of administration that I've to do and I just can't be bothered....
email today: "it must be finished today or we can't process your pay" Late with my pay again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's just so tedious..........so I'm drinking beer and smoking instead.....I don't even smoke but I'm chain smoking now!!! how did that happen!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
Ok...drink beer and chain smoke. Surely not going to change a darn thing. Maybe it's time to get a new strategy or at least sleep it off so you can start fresh. Best wishes on getting a sober plan in place.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by FreeOwl 
This doesn't have to be your life....
What if you chose - completely - to live a rewarding and abundant life?
What if you chose - sincerely - to embrace all that life could be and has to offer, free of booze and drugs?
What if you chose - deeply, with all you have - to give yourself to a sober life, whatever it takes?
I'll tell you, for me, it made all the difference.
What if you chose - completely - to live a rewarding and abundant life?
What if you chose - sincerely - to embrace all that life could be and has to offer, free of booze and drugs?
What if you chose - deeply, with all you have - to give yourself to a sober life, whatever it takes?
I'll tell you, for me, it made all the difference.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by zombob
Ok...drink beer and chain smoke. Surely not going to change a darn thing. Maybe it's time to get a new strategy or at least sleep it off so you can start fresh. Best wishes on getting a sober plan in place.
I've been suffering bad with insomnia lately....I just can't seem to go to bed yet I'm knackerd. I'm walking around like a bloody zombie!!! I will do the work....I just keep procrastinating it!!
I'm feeling like I've lost control of my mind
on a side note: this is a weird habit of mine. every time I say something...there is a song for it. Not just here....but I do it in real also....people have commented....
where's my mind?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufERJEdcfAY
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I identify with what you said about the music. I always have music playing in my mind and songs come up with situations. Always a soundtrack playing. I can't even meditate...
Now the booze. Break the cycle my friend. Do you have a plan? Build one and work it. It will make a difference.
Now the booze. Break the cycle my friend. Do you have a plan? Build one and work it. It will make a difference.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Nowsthetime
I identify with what you said about the music. I always have music playing in my mind and songs come up with situations. Always a soundtrack playing. I can't even meditate...
Now the booze. Break the cycle my friend. Do you have a plan? Build one and work it. It will make a difference.
Now the booze. Break the cycle my friend. Do you have a plan? Build one and work it. It will make a difference.
Thanks.
make it till Monday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smTjqBoacx0
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by TheRake
Can you suggest a plan in your own words? that is to say, without just giving a link....
See a drug/alcohol counselor
See your doctor
AVRT ( you'll need a link but there is lots about it in the secular forum ) Or any other self paced method.
Self help books
Read the big book even if you don't go to an AA meeting.
That should be enough to get you started, eh?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
I read here very regularly and I post when I need to, I have a craving or am feeling down or even if I'm feeling happy. I play the tape which means I imagine what will happen if I drink all the way till the next morning with a hangover from hell. If I go to party I bring my own yummy drink that I can enjoy that way I already have something in my hand. If I go to a Bar ( I don't suggest it but sometimes it's unavoidable) I might just order something that looks like a drink and is sweet... I am also doing a lot of self work trying to be actively happy. I take care of myself and am proactive in my life making it how I want it to be. There's all types of things to have in your plan. Do a thread search and you can find some ideas.
Oh and most importantly, I plan to not drink today, everyday.
Stay with us. It will make a difference.
Oh and most importantly, I plan to not drink today, everyday.
Stay with us. It will make a difference.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
Posts: 319
My drinking career started because I was angry with my job (my asshoxx boss to be more precise), so I've been there. I would drink at lunch, then come back to work and get into conflicts with the sales reps to the point that I told several of them to "go eff" themselves.
Yeah, drinking won't make your situation better, that's for sure. If you think you have it bad now, try being unemployed with a drinking problem.
You're here, so it tells me you've reached a point that you want to make a change. Listen to the veterans here and start moving forward. You'll be amazed how quickly things turn around once you get sober.
Yeah, drinking won't make your situation better, that's for sure. If you think you have it bad now, try being unemployed with a drinking problem.
You're here, so it tells me you've reached a point that you want to make a change. Listen to the veterans here and start moving forward. You'll be amazed how quickly things turn around once you get sober.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by TheRake
Can you suggest a plan in your own words? that is to say, without just giving a link....
Thanks.
make it till Monday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smTjqBoacx0
Thanks.
make it till Monday
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smTjqBoacx0
Basically coming up with a sobriety plan is a bit like working through a risk assessment for your drinking / drugging (or whatever other compulsive behaviours / addictions are messing your life up).
Some things are common to all. These are the HALT triggers: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness; Tiredness. So you would think not only, 'yeah, okay, I'll avoid those things', but think about HOW you'll avoid them, and how you'll know that you haven't avoided them (often in the early days I thought I was doing everything I should and had an almighty craving and then when I looked at my journal I could see that one of those things hadn't been watched carefully enough and maybe I'd started skipping lunch, or not getting as much rest as I should, or allowing myself to dwell on unhealthy resentments, or isolating at the weekends).
The other things to think about are your own risky areas for triggers.
Who are your slippery people? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
Where are your slippery places? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
When are your slippery times? How can you minimize their impact on you - this forum has been invaluable to me when working out strategies for dealing with some occasions that were challenging. (Eg. a hen weekend in Berlin; best mates wedding; Christmas holidays; and many more.)
My personal sobriety plan includes AA meetings and the 12-step recovery program. It did, at one point, include a counsellor. Some people include rehab; SMART meetings; Psychological assessments; Doctors appointments; etc.; etc.
Your plan shouldn't stay the same for ever. It should be a work in progress , and change as you change, and adapt to allow you to deal with whatever life throws at you. You might try things and find they don't work, and have to rethink it. Trial and error will pay off in the end.
I've found that now I've lost my obsession for alcohol, the strategies in my plan are still vital for my recovery, as they help me experience a good quality sobriety with as little anxiety involved as possible. No point in being sober and mad as a fish or miserable or anxious. I want to enjoy this sober life.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,355
doing charlie in the bathroom as in coke? Just through today, at work, go home, drink pedialyte, eat some chicken noodle soup, then go to sleep! Dont do anymore coke, get that sleep you need and hopefully tomorrow will be better. But get through, now, get through today, then work on the future.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 346
1.5 yrs ago I was feeling so bad I googled and googled and googled...everything from late-stage alcoholism, insanity from drink, cirrhosis..for like a month. I found this site and 2 more that helped me stop and I eventually joined this one exclusively and it works for me--checking in daily and interacting.. Find what works for you. Obviously it ain't the booze, smokes and this charlie fella.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
When I was drinking I cared little by show of my actions for those with whom I came in contact. However, I'd get weepy at a silly sentimental commercial. Typical for drunk in their cups. This is lack of emotional maturity and quite common.
I learned that the world has it's evils, death is part of life, happiness and sadness will be around daily. Job or no job, wife or no wife - I made a decision to stop drinking and stay stopped. In all emotional states - I don't drink, it's simply bad behavior and an excuse........
Now the pain of loss is real and I can deal with it soberly like a mature individual. I am available to help another through dark times when they occur.
We stay sober - not me. I am so glad I don't have to do it alone anymore.
I learned that the world has it's evils, death is part of life, happiness and sadness will be around daily. Job or no job, wife or no wife - I made a decision to stop drinking and stay stopped. In all emotional states - I don't drink, it's simply bad behavior and an excuse........
Now the pain of loss is real and I can deal with it soberly like a mature individual. I am available to help another through dark times when they occur.
We stay sober - not me. I am so glad I don't have to do it alone anymore.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 108
Originally Posted by Beccybean
A plan can't be made for you by someone else - because only you know your life. Like getting sober, and recovery - it can only be done by ourselves. Others can encourage, advise and support us, but we have to put in the work if we want to do it.
Basically coming up with a sobriety plan is a bit like working through a risk assessment for your drinking / drugging (or whatever other compulsive behaviours / addictions are messing your life up).
Some things are common to all. These are the HALT triggers: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness; Tiredness. So you would think not only, 'yeah, okay, I'll avoid those things', but think about HOW you'll avoid them, and how you'll know that you haven't avoided them (often in the early days I thought I was doing everything I should and had an almighty craving and then when I looked at my journal I could see that one of those things hadn't been watched carefully enough and maybe I'd started skipping lunch, or not getting as much rest as I should, or allowing myself to dwell on unhealthy resentments, or isolating at the weekends).
The other things to think about are your own risky areas for triggers.
Who are your slippery people? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
Where are your slippery places? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
When are your slippery times? How can you minimize their impact on you - this forum has been invaluable to me when working out strategies for dealing with some occasions that were challenging. (Eg. a hen weekend in Berlin; best mates wedding; Christmas holidays; and many more.)
My personal sobriety plan includes AA meetings and the 12-step recovery program. It did, at one point, include a counsellor. Some people include rehab; SMART meetings; Psychological assessments; Doctors appointments; etc.; etc.
Your plan shouldn't stay the same for ever. It should be a work in progress , and change as you change, and adapt to allow you to deal with whatever life throws at you. You might try things and find they don't work, and have to rethink it. Trial and error will pay off in the end.
I've found that now I've lost my obsession for alcohol, the strategies in my plan are still vital for my recovery, as they help me experience a good quality sobriety with as little anxiety involved as possible. No point in being sober and mad as a fish or miserable or anxious. I want to enjoy this sober life.
Basically coming up with a sobriety plan is a bit like working through a risk assessment for your drinking / drugging (or whatever other compulsive behaviours / addictions are messing your life up).
Some things are common to all. These are the HALT triggers: Hunger; Anger; Loneliness; Tiredness. So you would think not only, 'yeah, okay, I'll avoid those things', but think about HOW you'll avoid them, and how you'll know that you haven't avoided them (often in the early days I thought I was doing everything I should and had an almighty craving and then when I looked at my journal I could see that one of those things hadn't been watched carefully enough and maybe I'd started skipping lunch, or not getting as much rest as I should, or allowing myself to dwell on unhealthy resentments, or isolating at the weekends).
The other things to think about are your own risky areas for triggers.
Who are your slippery people? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
Where are your slippery places? Can you avoid them? If not, how can you minimize their impact on you?
When are your slippery times? How can you minimize their impact on you - this forum has been invaluable to me when working out strategies for dealing with some occasions that were challenging. (Eg. a hen weekend in Berlin; best mates wedding; Christmas holidays; and many more.)
My personal sobriety plan includes AA meetings and the 12-step recovery program. It did, at one point, include a counsellor. Some people include rehab; SMART meetings; Psychological assessments; Doctors appointments; etc.; etc.
Your plan shouldn't stay the same for ever. It should be a work in progress , and change as you change, and adapt to allow you to deal with whatever life throws at you. You might try things and find they don't work, and have to rethink it. Trial and error will pay off in the end.
I've found that now I've lost my obsession for alcohol, the strategies in my plan are still vital for my recovery, as they help me experience a good quality sobriety with as little anxiety involved as possible. No point in being sober and mad as a fish or miserable or anxious. I want to enjoy this sober life.
I keep saying to myself that I need to align myself with quality people. But what I'm not asking myself is if I'm being that quality person that I want in my life. Yeah time to start with the man in the mirror...
Time to be a better man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4BObpNQqNo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by TheRake
...I keep saying to myself that I need to align myself with quality people. But what I'm not asking myself is if I'm being that quality person that I want in my life. Yeah time to start with the man in the mirror...
Time to be a better man
Time to be a better man
You've already made the decision that you want to change and to stop drinking, and have acknowledged the unmanageability it brings to your life - you CAN dump the junk if you work at it.
Good luck
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