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Old 11-14-2015, 05:21 PM
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Need help

I really need advice. I have been to 4 AA meetings this week and have had panic attacks on the way to the meeting, during the meeting and after. I drank several beers immediately following 2 of those meetings...most recently being yesterday.

I did not feel like I was going to have a panic attack until I got to the meeting. My sponsor thinks I have a severe panic/anxiety disorder (social anxiety too???) & need to see someone (I am calling Monday to schedule). I HAVE been diagnosed with severe panic and anxiety in the past but it seems to be triggered in certain situations where I don't feel safe. I told my sponsor this...

So here's where it gets interesting. I am starting to see a pattern with my drinking. As long as I am not having panic/anxiety (which can be days or weeks) I am fine and don't think about drinking. BUT when I DO have the panic and anxiety I run to buy a 6 pack! My pattern is always the same....I drink about 4 (12 oz) beers and 1-2 mixed drinks in about a 3-4 hour period until my anxiety/panic are gone and I feel "normal" and calm again. (self-medicate). As soon as my anxiety is gone and I feel calm, I stop drinking and go home. For example, last night I had my typical 4 beers and met a friend at a bar to watch sports and drank 1 mixed drink and ordered a second. I took a few sips of the second mixed drink and told her I was tired and was gonna head home leaving a full drink at the bar.

I am just starting to wonder how much of my drinking is just "self-medicating" my anxiety and how much is an addiction. I'm not looking for medical advice and I know you guys can't diagnose anything, I was just curious to see if anyone has had a similar experience and if so do you have any suggestions? My sponsor has 39 years of sobriety and has sponsored hundreds of women and she is baffled by the "way" I drink (my drinking pattern) because it's not "typical" of anyone she's ever sponsored. I am confused.

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it more than you know!!! :-)
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:29 PM
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It's not uncommon that many of us used alcohol to self medicate. If you don't already have a problem with alcohol you will if you keep that pattern up. See a dr fit the anxiety. Also know that alcohol can cause a lot of the anxiety.
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by jd1639 View Post
It's not uncommon that many of us used alcohol to self medicate. If you don't already have a problem with alcohol you will if you keep that pattern up. See a dr fit the anxiety. Also know that alcohol can cause a lot of the anxiety.
Hmmm...good to know. You're right. Drinking like that can't be healthy. If I didn't have the panic & anxiety I wonder if I would drink???
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:37 PM
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The drinking causes a lot of the anxiety. The only way to know is to quit drinking for a few months. It won't do any good to treat anxiety with prescription meds while you're drinking - plus it's dangerous to mix anti-anxiety drugs (most of them) with alcohol.

Stop drinking and tough it out for the first couple months. Your anxiety will increase for a while, because that's what happens when you remove a central nervous system depressant like alcohol.
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:40 PM
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Every time we drink we are doing it to change the way we feel. A lot of us are not comfortable in our own skin. I have panic attacks too the panic attacks could be due to some withdrawals. I had them a lot when I first got sober your body is going with a lot of sugar depletion eat a lot of chocolate. Keep going to the meetings tell people that you're anxious it's good to get it out of your system a lot of times the look at you and say well duh �� It will get better. In a situation like this you might want to discuss it with a physician if you have insurance a lot of times when people are new insobriety they need some medication to keep their blood pressure down. Just remember it's not real. new insobriety we have to stay busy being of service. Talk to another alcoholic that's new and sobriety like you are You're not gonna like this very much but sitting around wondering if drinking is due to attacks then you are rationalizing. Read the literature. Also read the doctors opinion.
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:45 PM
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It sounds like binge drinking?????
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Old 11-14-2015, 05:52 PM
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I don't know much of your story so bear with my ignorance. Before attending AA, what kind of things caused the anxiety so severe that you self medicated? Do you frequently go weeks without drinking with zero effort?
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
The drinking causes a lot of the anxiety. The only way to know is to quit drinking for a few months. It won't do any good to treat anxiety with prescription meds while you're drinking - plus it's dangerous to mix anti-anxiety drugs (most of them) with alcohol. Stop drinking and tough it out for the first couple months. Your anxiety will increase for a while, because that's what happens when you remove a central nervous system depressant like alcohol.
Good idea. That's my plan...to completely omit alcohol from my life. (You said 3 months but I would like it to be forever) I just need to find a way to deal with the panic attacks without drinking. It's so hard to feel like the world is caving in on you (a.k.a. a panic attack), and know that if I just drink a few drinks I will feel better and it will end my suffering (temporary) and NOT do it. When in the pain of a panic attack...all I want in the moment is relief. It's like I go into survival mode!

But I know that the way I am dealing with it is NOT healthy and probably making it worse and IS causing problems in my life. Sooooo.......I need to devise a plan to get thru the panic and anxiety in a different way ASAP. Thanks Bimi!
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Step12 View Post
Every time we drink we are doing it to change the way we feel. A lot of us are not comfortable in our own skin. I have panic attacks too the panic attacks could be due to some withdrawals. I had them a lot when I first got sober your body is going with a lot of sugar depletion eat a lot of chocolate. Keep going to the meetings tell people that you're anxious it's good to get it out of your system a lot of times the look at you and say well duh �� It will get better. In a situation like this you might want to discuss it with a physician if you have insurance a lot of times when people are new insobriety they need some medication to keep their blood pressure down. Just remember it's not real. new insobriety we have to stay busy being of service. Talk to another alcoholic that's new and sobriety like you are You're not gonna like this very much but sitting around wondering if drinking is due to attacks then you are rationalizing. Read the literature. Also read the doctors opinion.
Thank you Step12. I am open to ALL suggestions. I just want to feel better...whatever it takes. Life's too short to feel like crap! Ya know?
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Step12 View Post
It sounds like binge drinking?????
Absolutely! Always binge! Never all day. Never every day. Kinda like a college student drinks. I was a college student once & we would go out bar hoping & binge drink for a few hours...
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:05 PM
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Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Good idea. That's my plan...to completely omit alcohol from my life. (You said 3 months but I would like it to be forever) I just need to find a way to deal with the panic attacks without drinking. It's so hard to feel like the world is caving in on you (a.k.a. a panic attack), and know that if I just drink a few drinks I will feel better and it will end my suffering (temporary) and NOT do it. When in the pain of a panic attack...all I want in the moment is relief. It's like I go into survival mode!

But I know that the way I am dealing with it is NOT healthy and probably making it worse and IS causing problems in my life. Sooooo.......I need to devise a plan to get thru the panic and anxiety in a different way ASAP. Thanks Bimi!
Absolutely you should quit forever. My point was that it can take a few months for the anxiety to die down after you quit. Most people feel a lot better in a week or two, though.

We all went though feeling raw and like the sky was falling in early sobriety. Some people get over it completely, and some end up needing more intensive treatment or talk-therapy. I'm sure your sponsor knows what's up. You've just got to get through the feeling in early days. It's uncomfortable but you can go without drinking.

Maybe get some medical help to make it through the first week or so. That's generally when doctors prescribe something for early withdrawal.
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:08 PM
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Here's your first post:

Originally Posted by KiKi0615 View Post
Trying to start my life over and stop drinking before it kills me. I've been a horrible person while drinking & I am about to lose everything.
You said you wanted to quit before drinking killed you or you lost everything. For that kind of drinking, that's a lot of anxiety and panic attacks, if that alone is the cause.

So treat the anxiety...with professional medical care. You'll know soon enough if that's all your drinking was related to, to anxiety, and how much is addiction.
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
I don't know much of your story so bear with my ignorance. Before attending AA, what kind of things caused the anxiety so severe that you self medicated? Do you frequently go weeks without drinking with zero effort?
I have had anxiety on and off since I was 5 years old. It runs in my family. I ALWAYS have anxiety to some extent and have learned to deal with it. It started to get much worse about 2 1/2 years ago. I don't know what triggered it. It was at that time that I started purposely self medicating with alcohol. That's when I really started to realize something was wrong & what I was doing wasn't normal. I have social anxiety too & always have but now I almost feel agoraphobic. I just don't want to leave the safety of my home!

What I'm thinking is maybe putting AA to the side for a few weeks until I can meet with a doctors/counselor since the meetings cause so much panic for me.

An NO I haven't gonna weeks without drinking since last Christmas. :-(
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:16 PM
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Originally Posted by biminiblue View Post
Absolutely you should quit forever. My point was that it can take a few months for the anxiety to die down after you quit. Most people feel a lot better in a week or two, though. We all went though feeling raw and like the sky was falling in early sobriety. Some people get over it completely, and some end up needing more intensive treatment or talk-therapy. I'm sure your sponsor knows what's up. You've just got to get through the feeling in early days. It's uncomfortable but you can go without drinking. Maybe get some medical help to make it through the first week or so. That's generally when doctors prescribe something for early withdrawal.
Thank you Bimi. I understand what you are saying and I am going to do everything possible to not only reduce my panic & anxiety by staying in "safe" places, but to NOT drink so I can really figure out what is going on in this crazy head of mine!
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Old 11-14-2015, 06:23 PM
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Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
Here's your first post: You said you wanted to quit before drinking killed you or you lost everything. For that kind of drinking, that's a lot of anxiety and panic attacks, if that alone is the cause. So treat the anxiety...with professional medical care. You'll know soon enough if that's all your drinking was related to, to anxiety, and how much is addiction.
You're absolutely right Carl. Ironically, I was having a panic attack when I wrote my first post & was desperately wanting to buy beer to help it go away! I was and AM scared of alcohol & what it can do to me if I don't stop. I have a friend who died very young of alcoholism and watching her die was so tragic. Scares me so much! Regardless of WHY I drink, I still need to stop because it does make me miserable after my 3-4 hour binge is over. :-(
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:00 PM
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KiKi,

One of my triggers was what my therapist called "low discomfort tolerance" or LDT for short. She differentiated it from anxiety in that anxiety is fear of the unknown (i.e. Something bad is going to happen, but I don't know exactly what). LDT on the other hand she explained was discomfort with certain situations, which for me included new social situations.

The way we attacked it was not with meds but with exposure work backed up by REBT work (you can Google it). What's coming next is an explanatory example, not advice.

So, let's say you have a fear of flying. Exposure work would first have you think about flying and then self soothe. You then do the REBT work. Repeat. Once you can think about it without feeling too much discomfort (you have to rate it), you do to the next step. This might be just packing your back. Next step might be driving to airport with packed bag and sitting in parking garage. Next step is get out of car and walk into airport. Etc. Of course, in this particular case, certain obvious later steps (sit in aircraft without it taking off) are not possible, but you get the idea.

I hope that my experience helps in some way.

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Old 11-14-2015, 07:09 PM
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I am in the same boat. I have severe social anxiety, and had a panic attack in an AA meeting. I have been seeing a counselor twice weekly, but finally made it in the see my Dr. I have started on a med for the cravings, which I will take for a week. I then begin an antidepressant that is supposed to help with anxiety (lexapro). I'm hoping that this will work. The Dr and counselor both really want me in AA.
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by keeppushing View Post
KiKi, One of my triggers was what my therapist called "low discomfort tolerance" or LDT for short. She differentiated it from anxiety in that anxiety is fear of the unknown (i.e. Something bad is going to happen, but I don't know exactly what). LDT on the other hand she explained was discomfort with certain situations, which for me included new social situations. The way we attacked it was not with meds but with exposure work backed up by REBT work (you can Google it). What's coming next is an explanatory example, not advice. So, let's say you have a fear of flying. Exposure work would first have you think about flying and then self soothe. You then do the REBT work. Repeat. Once you can think about it without feeling too much discomfort (you have to rate it), you do to the next step. This might be just packing your back. Next step might be driving to airport with packed bag and sitting in parking garage. Next step is get out of car and walk into airport. Etc. Of course, in this particular case, certain obvious later steps (sit in aircraft without it taking off) are not possible, but you get the idea. I hope that my experience helps in some way. KP
Very interesting KP. am going to look that up and read more. How are you doing now?
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Old 11-14-2015, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Garfield71 View Post
I am in the same boat. I have severe social anxiety, and had a panic attack in an AA meeting. I have been seeing a counselor twice weekly, but finally made it in the see my Dr. I have started on a med for the cravings, which I will take for a week. I then begin an antidepressant that is supposed to help with anxiety (lexapro). I'm hoping that this will work. The Dr and counselor both really want me in AA.
That's good Garfield. Keep me posted on how you are doing. It's nice to not feel alone.
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Old 11-15-2015, 02:30 AM
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I'm currently in therapy for depression & anxiety doing CBT is that an option for you ?
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