3 Nights & 4 Bottles of Wine
30 Days & Under Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
3 Nights & 4 Bottles of Wine
I guess it's official... I have a drinking problem!? 
I've been wine-free for 8 days or so and came into some money a few days ago. If you've been following my posts, you may remember I've layed off the wine but said it was (probably) only because I didn't have enough money to buy it, as my willpower when it comes to cooking and wine is pretty low.
Anyway, on Tuesday, I told myself I deserved some wine so I bought a bottle. I went to sleep and woke up ok b/c I downed a lot of water. Wednesday morning, I was sure I wasn't going to buy another bottle of wine (b/c I rarely drink back-to-back) but 5pm rolled around and I said wtf, I have nothing else going on in my life right now; let's get some more wine, so I downed another bottle of wine...
Then, Thursday (today) rolls around and I'm thinking, another bottle won't hurt--plenty of people drink 3-4 glasses of wine per night (aka a bottle) BUUTT, around 7pm, I was off to get another another bottle. #WineBottleNumber2
I eventually finished the 2nd bottle and found myself thinking, "I want to go get some more wine!" but I told myself "No! You can't have 3 bottles of wine in one night!!"
All of that said, I'm ok right now--I'm safely at home but am somewhat worried about my obsession with wine so I figured I'd post on SR. I was going to post on Tues night and Wed night but I talked myself out of it.
I'm making myself post tonight as my consumption is getting progressively worse, and I'm having trouble comparing myself to others who freely drink multiple glasses of wine per night and seem to be ok. How do I know if I'm just overreacting or truly have a drinking problem?
I've been wine-free for 8 days or so and came into some money a few days ago. If you've been following my posts, you may remember I've layed off the wine but said it was (probably) only because I didn't have enough money to buy it, as my willpower when it comes to cooking and wine is pretty low.
Anyway, on Tuesday, I told myself I deserved some wine so I bought a bottle. I went to sleep and woke up ok b/c I downed a lot of water. Wednesday morning, I was sure I wasn't going to buy another bottle of wine (b/c I rarely drink back-to-back) but 5pm rolled around and I said wtf, I have nothing else going on in my life right now; let's get some more wine, so I downed another bottle of wine...
Then, Thursday (today) rolls around and I'm thinking, another bottle won't hurt--plenty of people drink 3-4 glasses of wine per night (aka a bottle) BUUTT, around 7pm, I was off to get another another bottle. #WineBottleNumber2
I eventually finished the 2nd bottle and found myself thinking, "I want to go get some more wine!" but I told myself "No! You can't have 3 bottles of wine in one night!!"
All of that said, I'm ok right now--I'm safely at home but am somewhat worried about my obsession with wine so I figured I'd post on SR. I was going to post on Tues night and Wed night but I talked myself out of it.
I'm making myself post tonight as my consumption is getting progressively worse, and I'm having trouble comparing myself to others who freely drink multiple glasses of wine per night and seem to be ok. How do I know if I'm just overreacting or truly have a drinking problem?
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
Sounds like what I used to tell myself while I would head to the store for more alcohol. I would always have a debate about what was normal ect.. eventually I would drink enough to make the rational voice go away. Wake up hurting say I would stop, tell myself I might have a problem then repeat the cycle.
Found it much easier to just stop drinking and stop the madness, never felt more free than I do right now. The chains of alcohol are gone.
Found it much easier to just stop drinking and stop the madness, never felt more free than I do right now. The chains of alcohol are gone.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Arizona
Posts: 184
People that don't have an alcohol problem don't question if they have an alcohol problem. Simple as that. Try and stop for a while and see if you think about alcohol. That will help you access your thinking when it comes to alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Somerset
Posts: 924
Hello Sober runner,
Your dilemma pretty much mirrored mine. The internal battle, the rationalising of my habit, the comparison to others' drinking.
The advice to me from this community was that if it's affecting your life in a negative way then you have a problem. For me it was and I was only drinking a bottle of wine three or four times a week.
What convinced me was that feeling of wanting "more". I never drank more because I never bought more.
I think that feeling of needing more was a huge red flag.
Replace every mention of the word "wine" with "ALCOHOL" in your post and then read it back to yourself and see how that sounds to you.
Just for example.....
"......All of that said, I'm ok right now--I'm safely at home but am somewhat worried about my obsession with ALCOHOL so I figured I'd post on SR. "
Now do you think any differently?
Wine isn't special, it's just your (and mine) chosen alcohol delivery mechanism.
Good luck to you in working through your quandary, I know exactly how you feel.
Your dilemma pretty much mirrored mine. The internal battle, the rationalising of my habit, the comparison to others' drinking.
The advice to me from this community was that if it's affecting your life in a negative way then you have a problem. For me it was and I was only drinking a bottle of wine three or four times a week.
What convinced me was that feeling of wanting "more". I never drank more because I never bought more.
I think that feeling of needing more was a huge red flag.
Replace every mention of the word "wine" with "ALCOHOL" in your post and then read it back to yourself and see how that sounds to you.
Just for example.....
"......All of that said, I'm ok right now--I'm safely at home but am somewhat worried about my obsession with ALCOHOL so I figured I'd post on SR. "
Now do you think any differently?
Wine isn't special, it's just your (and mine) chosen alcohol delivery mechanism.
Good luck to you in working through your quandary, I know exactly how you feel.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
3 or 4 units a night regularly is apparently detrimental to health ,
the NHS site here in the uk says :-
The risks of drinking too much - Live Well - NHS Choices
Most "normal" drinkers don't have over 500 posts on SR , to me sat here it seems it's obviously an issue for you .
After 10 years of drinking knowing i was an alcoholic i asked myself the question , how many more years , weeks or days was i willing to live in self induced confusion and sickness . If i'm lucky i have 10,000 days left how many of them shall i drop and loose into the alcohol and hung over bottle ?
Sober life might not be a party and requires work for benefits and it might not pay off , drinking is a 100% loss .
My sober alcoholic friends here are the best of people, i'm proud to know .
Bestwishes m
the NHS site here in the uk says :-
Men are 1.8 to 2.5 times as likely to get cancer of the mouth, neck and throat, and women are 1.2 to 1.7 times as likely.
Women are 1.2 times as likely to get breast cancer.
Men are twice as likely to develop liver cirrhosis, and women are 1.7 times as likely.
Men are 1.8 times as likely to develop high blood pressure, and women are 1.3 times as likely.
Women are 1.2 times as likely to get breast cancer.
Men are twice as likely to develop liver cirrhosis, and women are 1.7 times as likely.
Men are 1.8 times as likely to develop high blood pressure, and women are 1.3 times as likely.
Most "normal" drinkers don't have over 500 posts on SR , to me sat here it seems it's obviously an issue for you .
After 10 years of drinking knowing i was an alcoholic i asked myself the question , how many more years , weeks or days was i willing to live in self induced confusion and sickness . If i'm lucky i have 10,000 days left how many of them shall i drop and loose into the alcohol and hung over bottle ?
Sober life might not be a party and requires work for benefits and it might not pay off , drinking is a 100% loss .
My sober alcoholic friends here are the best of people, i'm proud to know .
Bestwishes m
30 Days & Under Club
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: The Southeast, USA
Posts: 828
Yeah, you guys are right. I guess I just cannot envision my life never ever ever ever drinking again. I know it's the right thing to do though!
And, Tufty, I didn't even realize how many times I said "wine" in my original post. Wow! Also, re-reading my OP and inserting "alcohol" does read very different. Thank you!
And, Tufty, I didn't even realize how many times I said "wine" in my original post. Wow! Also, re-reading my OP and inserting "alcohol" does read very different. Thank you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Noone here could envision their life without alcohol.
I know I couldn't.
but that fear is not reason enough to stay in a really crappy situation.
I really could not have imagined the GREAT life I have now...not back that - because I had to step out of that life to make it happen...y'know?
you'll be OK...just take that step, and do what you gotta do to keep moving
D
I know I couldn't.
but that fear is not reason enough to stay in a really crappy situation.
I really could not have imagined the GREAT life I have now...not back that - because I had to step out of that life to make it happen...y'know?
you'll be OK...just take that step, and do what you gotta do to keep moving
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I sooooooooo remember thinking "how can I never drink again?!?!" When I got sober (after waking up in the intensive care unit at the hospital because I only drank wine) I after awhile the wave of acceptance washing over me that wine and I would never get along. I needed to accept this and move on with my sobriety. I came here to SR a lot, read a lot of recovery literature, and I needed to work with a professional counselor as well as my doctor. In a few weeks I will be three years sober. Don't think too much about the future. Just say in today. Glad you are here
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
My motivation to quit was a physical breakdown that caused moderate anxiety that lingered for months once I quit drinking. The lingering anxiety was my brain reacting to no booze after about 15+ years of fairly hard boozing.
Alcohol caused brain damage. I drank the alcohol. I caused the brain damage. I now rationalize that I am now educated of this fact. It helps me to not drink. I will never drink again.
I Googled rational recovery. It is an alternative to AA. AA uses the one day at a time. This strategy leaves the fight on for relapse.
I am an AA and rational recovery sober man as of today. What ever works. Over 6 months clean as a whistle.
Alcohol is poison.
Alcohol caused brain damage. I drank the alcohol. I caused the brain damage. I now rationalize that I am now educated of this fact. It helps me to not drink. I will never drink again.
I Googled rational recovery. It is an alternative to AA. AA uses the one day at a time. This strategy leaves the fight on for relapse.
I am an AA and rational recovery sober man as of today. What ever works. Over 6 months clean as a whistle.
Alcohol is poison.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
I'm totally with you on this one, I have exactly the same debate as you ALL the time..... but what I'm learning is that I NEVER just have one drink, I ALWAYS want more and frequently I will get more. Only a few nights ago I was thinking about buying the second bottle before I'd finished my first glass..... it sound to me you're not far behind me. This is progressive there is no rewind button. I know for sure I will never be happy with one drink and right now one bottle isn't enough. Just be honest with yourself where this is going.... take care x
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,987
"I have nothing else going on in my life right now".
Your words echo mine when I was deep into drinking. I felt alone and lonely and felt too that I "deserved" some wine. The challenge for me anyway is not only in putting down the drink, but in trying to carve out a different life, make big changes. It's very scary but it can be done. I'm still working on the being lonely bit, but I'm happy I don't reach for wine, my poison of choice too.
Being honest with yourself in that yes, you do have a drinking problem is a start.
Stay close to SR, wishing you all the best!
Your words echo mine when I was deep into drinking. I felt alone and lonely and felt too that I "deserved" some wine. The challenge for me anyway is not only in putting down the drink, but in trying to carve out a different life, make big changes. It's very scary but it can be done. I'm still working on the being lonely bit, but I'm happy I don't reach for wine, my poison of choice too.
Being honest with yourself in that yes, you do have a drinking problem is a start.
Stay close to SR, wishing you all the best!
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by SoberRunner 
How do I know if I'm just overreacting or truly have a drinking problem?
You stated being unhappy sober. What kind of problem do you think that is? And you struggle to stay sober when you decide that's in your best interest. What does that tell you about your problem?
Catch and Release
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Crazy Canuck
Posts: 441
Hi Sober Runner:
As others have mentioned up thread, people who do not have a problem with alcohol do not obsess over it. I used to be a heavy wine drinker and then progressed to rye because I didn't have to carry around as many bottles. Just get one big bottle of rye to last (hopefully) my 10 day stint away from the nearest liquor store. If I was drinking wine, why I'd have to bring in those big boxes of wine and that would have been way to obvious that I was a heavy drinker.
I too couldn't imagine never having another drink - that was a indeed a scary concept. Just what are the benefits of drinking? Really - write them out on a piece of paper. Then write out the cons of drinking. Do the benefits out weight the cons? Or visa-versa? For me, I had a fleeting benefit from drinking - that mere second of bliss. But, it was ALWAYS followed with misery (hangovers, anxiety, self-loathing, etc). I wrote all those miserable things down and put them as a memo on my phone. I read that horrible list every day during the first few months of my sobriety (as a reminder). Now - I rarely look at it. I'm enjoying my sober life and the thought of drinking again is now just a little fleeting thought because I know it will lead to nothing but misery. It's not worth it because I HAVE A PROBLEM with alcohol. I took responsibility for it.
CF
As others have mentioned up thread, people who do not have a problem with alcohol do not obsess over it. I used to be a heavy wine drinker and then progressed to rye because I didn't have to carry around as many bottles. Just get one big bottle of rye to last (hopefully) my 10 day stint away from the nearest liquor store. If I was drinking wine, why I'd have to bring in those big boxes of wine and that would have been way to obvious that I was a heavy drinker.
I too couldn't imagine never having another drink - that was a indeed a scary concept. Just what are the benefits of drinking? Really - write them out on a piece of paper. Then write out the cons of drinking. Do the benefits out weight the cons? Or visa-versa? For me, I had a fleeting benefit from drinking - that mere second of bliss. But, it was ALWAYS followed with misery (hangovers, anxiety, self-loathing, etc). I wrote all those miserable things down and put them as a memo on my phone. I read that horrible list every day during the first few months of my sobriety (as a reminder). Now - I rarely look at it. I'm enjoying my sober life and the thought of drinking again is now just a little fleeting thought because I know it will lead to nothing but misery. It's not worth it because I HAVE A PROBLEM with alcohol. I took responsibility for it.
CF
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by SoberRunner
Yeah, you guys are right. I guess I just cannot envision my life never ever ever ever drinking again. I know it's the right thing to do though!
And, Tufty, I didn't even realize how many times I said "wine" in my original post. Wow! Also, re-reading my OP and inserting "alcohol" does read very different. Thank you!
And, Tufty, I didn't even realize how many times I said "wine" in my original post. Wow! Also, re-reading my OP and inserting "alcohol" does read very different. Thank you!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Dee74
Noone here could envision their life without alcohol.
I know I couldn't.
but that fear is not reason enough to stay in a really crappy situation.
I really could not have imagined the GREAT life I have now...not back that - because I had to step out of that life to make it happen...y'know?
you'll be OK...just take that step, and do what you gotta do to keep moving
D
I know I couldn't.
but that fear is not reason enough to stay in a really crappy situation.
I really could not have imagined the GREAT life I have now...not back that - because I had to step out of that life to make it happen...y'know?
you'll be OK...just take that step, and do what you gotta do to keep moving
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Some good advice here Soberrunner. A couple things that ring true to me:
Normal drinkers don't contemplate if they have a problem. They simply drink when they feel like it and when they don't feel like drinking they don't drink. Not drinking for them is not a problem, for us it is.
Don't think too far into the future. Like Dee said, I don't think any of us could imaging a life without drinking when we started this journey. That part comes with time. Trust me, it will come if you give it time.
Just concentrate on today, nothing more.
We are here when you need us.
Normal drinkers don't contemplate if they have a problem. They simply drink when they feel like it and when they don't feel like drinking they don't drink. Not drinking for them is not a problem, for us it is.
Don't think too far into the future. Like Dee said, I don't think any of us could imaging a life without drinking when we started this journey. That part comes with time. Trust me, it will come if you give it time.
Just concentrate on today, nothing more.
We are here when you need us.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I don't have much to add, people much smarter than myself can offer you the best advice. What I can say is that I think it was a good move to post because it appears it escalated pretty quickly, and that's a sign.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 688
When I started to wish that I hadn't had that drink(s) -- mid-drunk or post-drunk -- I realized I had a problem. When I started needing the drink(s) just to feel able to do certain things, like face the day, I knew it was a *major* problem. Such a slippery slope from one phase to the next. Yup, it's progressive -- the amount of alcohol, the amount of hiding and lying, and the amount of regret and shame. Hang in there, soberrunner.
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