secretchord

I am an alcoholic. And I'm ashamed of what I have become and what it has done to me. I don't know how it started or why it started, but I'm not normal. This obsession that I've had for the last 17 days is NOT normal. I am an alcoholic and I'm scared out of my mind. :'(

Soberwolf

I'm alcoholic too SC try to stay calm have you tried breathing exercises or have you got a plan

secretchord

I'm having a panic attack now.

Anna

Just try to relax and take some deep breaths. Yes, you're an alcoholic, but it doesn't have to control you or define you. You can make a plan and move into recovery and begin to live the life you want.

sva777

I am an alcoholic and I too have panic attacks. Take a deep breath and relax it will pass.

secretchord

I'm scared. I don't know how to do anything (besides work) without alcohol. I've gone these 17 days with the feeling like something's missing. I think about it almost all the time. When will the obsession go away? Will I ever not want the taste of wine?

Soberwolf

Try this

3 Anxiety Breathing Techniques You Can Practice Anywhere - Self help for anxiety -

Use urgesurfing to help calm your panic attack (Thanks D for alerting me to this)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

Fly N Buy

Somewhere around 5-6 months I realized I was indeed a real alcoholic - until that time I was just trying to get some sober time and get others off my back.

Frankly, understanding my alcoholism was relief - cause if I wasn't an alcoholic I was among the worlds biggest screw ups! Thank goodness I was only an alcoholic, what a relief. For that, there's multiple treatments...........

Glad you're posting

adelina123

I'm in exactly the same position as you .... obsessing!! All I can say is the people on here that have been sober for long periods are pretty adamant that this whole thing gets better and easier. Stick with it, have faith xx

secretchord

I swear I never obsessed about wine when I was drinking it. Now after I quit I can't control my thoughts. Why is that? When does it stop?

Fly N Buy

Around 30 days the obsession for me to drink was removed and has not returned. Occasionally there are thoughts popping into my bean, but I choose not to act on them. I got past the romantic relationship with alcohol.

I simply had to use what I was taught to do in the rooms and on SR. Many of these people here know their jazzzzz - when in doubt respect what the mod's suggestions.......

biminiblue

It's going to get so much better. Just hang on. Shame isn't necessary - although I think it's pretty common to be a bit repelled by what alcohol and our dysfunctional thinking has caused us to do! The good news is that you can make those things of the past.

Acceptance is the answer, and now that you accept it - you can heal from it.

Onward, forward - looking toward making your life the way you want it to be.

dwtbd

Hang in there , it does get better/easier with time and acceptance.

AV is loud and boisterous when it gets cut off, so real loud in the early goings. The more time that passes as we starve it of its fuel. But this time has to be coupled with acceptance , the idea that we have quit , for good, no matter what. All the way down. Early on the AV will latch on to any opening it can sense to exploit.
Once I got fully onboard with the idea of never again, the AV has nothing to reach for to shake in my face even my alcoholism. Whether I am/was , no matter if it's a diagnosis or a label, no matter what means ,so what? In answer to the AV's gyrations.
Wanting to , missing ,..whatever aren't signs of not being able to quit, they are the "normal" feelings and experiences of quitting and being quit.
Hang in , no matter what, in time it gets better, starve it out .
Wish you well, you got this

entropy1964

I am too. I understand how you feel. I had to work on really accepting what I am and trying not to judge it. I have a condition that I need to treat.

I have heard many recovering alcohilics say they are 'grateful' for their condition and the opportunity to recover. That alcoholism can be seen as a delivery system into a better, happier, healthier reality. Happiness is a choice. Recovery is too. Take it one step at a time....don't trip about the future, don't get stuck in the results. You're doing great. You may not realize it but you have shown amazing growth, courage and personal insight.

Dee74

hey secretchord

I think EVRYBODY gets scared.

Rather than thinking of this huge mountain before you, it's ok to break it down...you can do a day at a time - you have 17 of these...Keep doing all you can to not drink and you'll be ok

If you need more support, find it, or ask for it here
If you need to make more changes in your life to help you stay sober do it

This is early recovery., It hard and it's basically sucks - but it's a transition phase, this is not the way it will always be, I promise!.

It does get easier - and you're not alone here

You can do this!

D