thomas11

I've touched on this before, but now its 100% going to happen. Wife and I are going to spend the Holidays with her family in California. I get along great with her family, they are Peruvian and it is such a kind culture. She has 3 brothers whom I enjoy more than my own brother. Fun guys. Her one brother is my age and is a contractor (just like I was) and is a bonafide alcoholic. I've done a lot of drinking with the man. When we drink together its kind of an all day steady stream of drunkenness. Never crazy, never to the point of getting sick, we eat properly etc... But in doing so, I never get a chance to truly sober up until I get back home. Well, that ain't gonna happen this time. I need to devise a plan navigate this because when he gets drunk he reverts to childish behavior and will try and peer pressure me. They are a traditional family so its usually guys hanging with the guys and the girls hang with the girls. My first thought is to plan daily things to do with my wife. Lunch, dinner, sight-see...whatever. But I'm not going to be on a construction site with a mixer in the truck all day.

SoberLeigh

Your upcoming holiday sounds wonderful, Jeff. You have spoken before about how great your wife's family is.

Does your BIL know that you are sober now?

Anna

That sounds like a good plan for the Holidays, Thomas. I think planning outings, etc with your wife is a great idea.

thomas11

He does not. We used to talk on the phone all the time (drinking), but I've had a heckuva summer and I'm not drinking. My wife tells me he thinks I might be mad at him about something. I'm not, I just don't want to talk to a drunk twice a week.

Venecia

Jeff, you might want to consider an email to your BIL so that he's prepared and doesn't feel like it's a shock that his ol' drinkin' buddy has made some changes. You might consider something along the lines of this:

"Hey __________,

Just a quick note to let you know we're really excited to spend the holidays in California with you and the rest of the family.

I wanted to let you something in advance so it doesn't come as a surprise. I've had to do some hard thinking about myself and have come to the conclusion that it's better for me to no longer drink. It's a personal decision -- one that I'm comfortable with and one that your sister/my wife is happy I've made. I don't expect my choices to change the fact that we're going to all have a great time together -- it's just that I won't be drinking anymore.

You guys mean the world to me and I'm really looking forward to seeing you."

Or something like that.

SoberLeigh

^^^ Great letter, Venecia.

Soberwolf

Happy for you Jeff enjoy Cali

thomas11

Thanks Venecia, I am definitely going to have to give him advance warning. I'v dropped hints here and there in the last few months. He knows something has changed, and I think he knows what it is. We used to do a lot of laughing and carrying on in our conversations, but sober, I am naturally a serious person and am unable to participate in useless banter.

Soberwolf

thomas11

wolf, I love when you post that goofy guy giving the "thumbs up" sign. haha.

Soberwolf

No problemo

Dee74

I have faith you'll get through this and not waver Jeff

D