losing hope
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Girard, Ohio
Posts: 23
losing hope
This is a long and complicated story and i would appreciate any help or information you may have!
I been dating this guy on and off for 2 years hes 30 and im 21. When we first met 2 years ago he was a alcoholic. He was always asking me for money and it seemed like r relationship was only about sex. So i got pregnant had a lil girl with him and because of his actions and ways i told him to stay out of our life till he got his life back together. So i guess one night he got totally wasted and broke in2 a near my store. He didnt steal anything nor did i think he was planning on it. but the cops got 2 him b4 anythin else could go wrong. So he went 2 jail for 2 weeks and he had the choice 2 do 2 years jail or go 2 rehab. He picked rehab cuz he wanted 2 be apart of his daughters life and be there when she was born.So after he accomplished all of this i decided 2 give him another shot. So we got back together 2 months b4 my due date and stayed together 3 months after. He was kind sweet caring loving and was a good father. We got engaged then realized that it wasnt workin...2 days after we broke up i caught him in bed with someone else. It didnt work out between them so 3 months later me and David decided 2 get back together. We were alot better this time....or so i thought didnt fight got along did everything together....we were like "the perfect family" then back in may of 04 we decided 2 take a BREAK just a BREAK! we both agreed that we wouldnt see anyone else just figure out what we both wanted....so then a few weeks later i found out he was with someone else. Of course that broke my heart but i tried 2 move on.....and just now (sept) he told me he screwed up! I didnt know what he meant by it so i was beggin for him 2 tell me but he wouldnt talk....he was ashamed-but finally told me he starting drinking again and that its been goin on for a lil over 2 months! Of course i felt bad and thought it was my fault (still do) because maybe i didnt tell him i love him enough or cared or gave him everything! And im mad at the girl hes dating for drinkin infront of him and giving it 2 him and letting him drink! i mean DAVID is a grown man and can make choices of his own....but if your with someone and you know that there a recovering alcoholic why would u offer it 2 him....let alone drink infront of him?? IM JUST SO MAD AND ANGRY AND WANNA SCREAM N CRY! cuz i love him with all my heart and i would do anything for him.....yet im sick of the way he treats me the way he talks 2 me and the way he acts......but how can i turn my back on someone i love so much??? if anyone took the time out 2 read this....please give me some advice!!! thank you so much
<3 megan
I been dating this guy on and off for 2 years hes 30 and im 21. When we first met 2 years ago he was a alcoholic. He was always asking me for money and it seemed like r relationship was only about sex. So i got pregnant had a lil girl with him and because of his actions and ways i told him to stay out of our life till he got his life back together. So i guess one night he got totally wasted and broke in2 a near my store. He didnt steal anything nor did i think he was planning on it. but the cops got 2 him b4 anythin else could go wrong. So he went 2 jail for 2 weeks and he had the choice 2 do 2 years jail or go 2 rehab. He picked rehab cuz he wanted 2 be apart of his daughters life and be there when she was born.So after he accomplished all of this i decided 2 give him another shot. So we got back together 2 months b4 my due date and stayed together 3 months after. He was kind sweet caring loving and was a good father. We got engaged then realized that it wasnt workin...2 days after we broke up i caught him in bed with someone else. It didnt work out between them so 3 months later me and David decided 2 get back together. We were alot better this time....or so i thought didnt fight got along did everything together....we were like "the perfect family" then back in may of 04 we decided 2 take a BREAK just a BREAK! we both agreed that we wouldnt see anyone else just figure out what we both wanted....so then a few weeks later i found out he was with someone else. Of course that broke my heart but i tried 2 move on.....and just now (sept) he told me he screwed up! I didnt know what he meant by it so i was beggin for him 2 tell me but he wouldnt talk....he was ashamed-but finally told me he starting drinking again and that its been goin on for a lil over 2 months! Of course i felt bad and thought it was my fault (still do) because maybe i didnt tell him i love him enough or cared or gave him everything! And im mad at the girl hes dating for drinkin infront of him and giving it 2 him and letting him drink! i mean DAVID is a grown man and can make choices of his own....but if your with someone and you know that there a recovering alcoholic why would u offer it 2 him....let alone drink infront of him?? IM JUST SO MAD AND ANGRY AND WANNA SCREAM N CRY! cuz i love him with all my heart and i would do anything for him.....yet im sick of the way he treats me the way he talks 2 me and the way he acts......but how can i turn my back on someone i love so much??? if anyone took the time out 2 read this....please give me some advice!!! thank you so much
<3 megan
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Hey Megan, welcome!!
Please do some reading on codependency and how we are sometimes caught in a viscious cycle that needs to be addressed. David sounds like he needs help, but he first has to want it himself, and please do not let him take advantage of you!! You are not going to make David quit - he has to do that!!
I am sure others here will offer additional advice, but you really need to take care of yourself and your child now.
Sometimes turning your back is the absolute best thing to do for all involved!!
Dave
Please do some reading on codependency and how we are sometimes caught in a viscious cycle that needs to be addressed. David sounds like he needs help, but he first has to want it himself, and please do not let him take advantage of you!! You are not going to make David quit - he has to do that!!
I am sure others here will offer additional advice, but you really need to take care of yourself and your child now.
Sometimes turning your back is the absolute best thing to do for all involved!!
Dave
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Hi Megan,
Welcome to SR! I'm Anna, recovering alcoholic, and I'm sorry for your situation. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do to help your b/f. He will need to decide when he needs help. And, I had to make choices to stay away from people and situations where alcohol was involved when I was stopping drinking and I still do that a lot of the time. You need to take care of yourself right now. If you like you might also check out the Families and Friends of Alcoholics forum on this board.
Hang in there and keep posting.
Anna
Welcome to SR! I'm Anna, recovering alcoholic, and I'm sorry for your situation. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do to help your b/f. He will need to decide when he needs help. And, I had to make choices to stay away from people and situations where alcohol was involved when I was stopping drinking and I still do that a lot of the time. You need to take care of yourself right now. If you like you might also check out the Families and Friends of Alcoholics forum on this board.
Hang in there and keep posting.
Anna
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
To go to Friends and Families -
Go to the main SR page, where you found the forum for Newcomers.
Just scroll down the page past Alcoholism and Drug Addiction and you'll find Friends and Families listed.
Hope you find what you need.
Love, Anna
Go to the main SR page, where you found the forum for Newcomers.
Just scroll down the page past Alcoholism and Drug Addiction and you'll find Friends and Families listed.
Hope you find what you need.
Love, Anna
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
