CurlyGirl1978

Early this morning after a cup of coffee, I called a few friends to talk...no one answered. Then the one friend who was supposed to give me the bus fare today, who I thought was expecting my call as we discussed didn't answer either. There was pain...I turned on music to drown it out, but it was still there. I immediately felt "Oh no! No feelings, uh uh...I don't like feelings....Drink....I need a drink...."
Then I thought about how I need to feel to get through this so I turned off the music and cried, not just a regular cry, I cried and said "I feel abandoned! I am hurting! But I'll be ok! But I do feel pain! But it's ok!"
Then just like that it was over, I got through it and my craving was gone. I dried my eyes and finished doing my hair. I need to get use to these friggin feelings...Maybe I shouldn't have such a hatred for them.

btw the friend who I was waiting for called an hour later and apologized for missing my call, silly me! LOL

SDH73

Great job getting through that, CG. I've found that in the first couple of months, while I do feel better physically and am mentally clearer, I'm a bit emotional. Even had a breakdown and cried completely out of loneliness (which was ridiculous because I had friends coming over later that day to hang out at my place). But I'm a dude, hadn't cried in years and years, so I was pretty shocked that it came at me like that. All this change in our lives and our bodies can be pretty tumultuous.

Hang in there, CurlyGirl. You're doing great!

SoberInCLE

I am feeling totally emotional too. Being alone at all feels like a burden even when I have plans later that day or the next day. I feel crazy. I want to follow your advice and release these emotions. Thanks for the post.

Soberwolf

Good job CG

Berrybean

Sounds just like me on Saturday morning when my OH decided he was cancelling plans with me to meet his work pal for a pint or three. The rage; the self-pity - not just a wave of it, but a veritable tsunami.

I plonked myself in the shower where I was safe from getting into an argument with him about is, allowed myself a few tears to relieve the immediate pressure and as I started to breathe properly and calm down I reminded myself that Acceptance is what keeps me sober. That Acceptance is nothing to do with right or wrong; fair or unfair; justified of not. I just need to accept that's the way things are (if I can't change them) and change the things I can to keep me peaceful and unlikely to do damage (to myself or anyone else, through drinking or acting out in other ways, or with my hot-head and viscious tongue). I said some prayers right there in the shower - asking God to remove my self -pity and my resentment against my partner, and by the time I'd dried myself I was calm again and ready to get on with a fun afternoon of impromptu pampering on my own.