back again
 

I've been here before.
I'm writing this drunk. and if that puts anyone off i don't blame you.
I've suffered the insomnia.

I'm finally sleeping better. i just can't seem to stop the weekend binge.
was back home for the holidays and drank drank drank.

back in singapore now. back to work. my boss sees a difference. can't seem to concentrate.

i have been to aa 3 times. just so ambivalent about quitting drinking.
everytime i resolve to stop... 3 days later I'm convincing myself to get loaded again.

I've been here 1000 times.
i need serious help. i have staetorrhea. and cramps and i still drink.

I'm functional. i keep my job. and my wife and parents aren't aware how deep in the hole i am.

i feel like quitting my job, or quitting my marriage, or quitting my life. just feel like quitting.

i know i will wake up tomorrow and gget through it.
i know i will feel like getting smashed again on friday.

is there any relief from this?
i feel like such failure.

ash

...quitting everything but the drinking?

Give up the booze and you'll feeling like hanging on to everything else in your life.

Can you get into rehab?

^^^^ This.

Drash; you are listening to your Alcoholic voice and buying into all the lies and nonsense that it is telling you.

Alcoholism, without recovery, is a one-way ticket to despair, self-loathing, physical/mental/spiritual deterioration and a host of other negative experiences.

Shut that AV down, drash; buy a ticket to sobriety, instead. it's a much better ride with a pretty incredible view.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I can relate. I remember those days of not wanting ANYTHING to do with life but drinking the day in front of me away.

I thought about quitting my job...I thought about quitting my relationship, etc....

It's skewed/flawed thinking caused by the alcohol in my experience.

I took the alcohol out of the picture and those thoughts went away. But i can relate...I did have them. And alcohol told me that they were right.

Get help. Grab ahold of AA and go everyday. Don't listen to yourself (and the Alcoholic voice/thoughts)...

SR is here for you. AA is there for you. But you have to take control. You need to fight for it. Don't give up.

Findingtheway

Is this a day 1

Some great advice here Drash :)

I dunno about you, but I used to put a lot of effort into drinking...to stay sober I needed to put at least as much effort into not drinking.

You must want change on some level or you would not have posted here :)

I hope you'll stick around - become a regular poster - there's a lot of advice and support here.

Welcome back Drash!! You can do this!! :)

It's so good to see you, Drash. I'm sorry you're miserable, but you can stop & have a whole new life. Please keep posting.

Thanks
 

Thank you for the support. I'm getting help today

That's good to hear, drash.

Let us know how it goes.

Hope that you stick around SR, too.