Checking in here and then headed out for a walk
 

I am feeling really frustrated, annoyed and tired. Some of you may remember the drama with my ex business partner who stole money from clients and me. It is still going on. This morning I had to go meet with the lawyer and go through my computer to find some documentation that he needed. I am annoyed and angry at the situation, at myself for being so naive and trusting and also at the lawyer who does not seem to have this at the same priority level that I do (understandably, but still it is irritating). Saturday I was fuming, really furious, so mad I gave myself a headache. Yesterday was better. today I am back to being mad but am trying to stay calm and not let my nerves and the anger get the best of me. I am feeling pretty ok with my sobriety but occasionally I do get the passing thought of having a drink to take the edge off. I don't want to go back to that though. I really don't.
I have a lot of work to do, actually I am drowning in work. But I really feel like I need some exercise to cool myself down so I am going to go for a short run/walk and try to get myself back to a good spot.

The walk will help, Mera.

You are doing the best you can in a difficult situation with your ex-business partner.

(((Mera)))! Sometimes it helps me to let go of anger like that by thinking through something like the following: what happens if you don't "win"? Ok, you will be out a good deal of money and that's very painful. But, weigh the cost of your stress levels in order to hopefully get it back. I'm not saying to drop it but it may help to get it mentally in perspective.

I've been in situations where I've felt powerless and then get angry and then I want to drink. I think that part of my work in becoming and staying sober has been learning to choose my battles and look at them differently. I may still choose to fight but I don't feel as helpless if I realize it's a choice.

For me, feeling helpless is the worst possible place to be.

Sorry for your recent struggles Mera but you know drinking won't solve anything you know that

If you ever need that link because I think they do other stuff there let me know :hug:

Thanks for your post Mera! I thank I'll take a walk too today!

Saskia, thank you, this sums up my feelings perfectly: For me, feeling helpless is the worst possible place to be.

Enjoy your walk, Mera.

Keep taking positives steps; the trouble with your ex-partner will soon be behind you.

Thanks all. I'm in bed now, tired, still a little bit frustrated, but sober.
My son lost a tooth today. I was placing a coin under the glass (here they have a mouse that comes to get the tooth from under an overturned glass instead of a fairy who comes under the pillow :) ) and felt so thankful to be sober and aware of the moment. I remembered that his 3rd lost tooth I forgot to change out the tooth for a coin because I had been drinking. Not tonight.
Night all. Tomorrow is a new day.

I hope you enjoyed your walk CurlyGirl. I was only out for a little bit but the fresh, cool air really helped.

I hope all this palaver is over soon for you Mera :)
I'm glad you're trying to keep mindful of balance - good stuff :)

D

Proud of you!! What huge progress to come here first. THAT'S how you work a program, friend!