Dim

I feel so ashamed and disgusted with myself. just shy of the 2 week mark and I just had a 3 day bender that landed me in ER this morning. I've since been discharged with value to manage the withdrawals over the next few days. My gf doesn't want a bar of me because I ended up abusing her over the weekend (verbally) and said things to her I wouldn't dream of saying if I was sober. I feel so lost right now and I'm scared that I can't bounce back from this one. thankfully my blood work showed no liver or kidney damage ( don't know how thats possible considering the roller coaster I've put my body through over the last couple of months. I truly am done drinking this time and need one more shot at making amends with all the people that I've hurt along the way. looking for some words of encouragement because I'm beginning to lose all hope.
Dim

Coldfusion

Welcome back, Dim!

Landing in the ER is a pretty good indication that you should not drink.

Personally, I use the program of AA to stay sober. Among other things, it specifically deals with making amends to those I have harmed.

KiKi0615

Don't give up Dim! You can start over right now. I understand how you are feeling because I only have 1 day of sobriety. This disease is truly hell but people keep telling me there is a way out and sobriety is amazing so I'm not giving up. Don't beat yourself up. We can't change the past. We are not bad people...we are sick people with a disease. I will pray for you. Hug...

KiKi0615

I just got a sponsor and started AA myself. They tell me not to give up until the miracle happens so I won't.

Dee74

Hi Dim

I kept doing the same things until I accepted I needed change - but it's never too late to make that decision

What kind of recovery plan have you been working?

D

CurlyGirl1978

Dim I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad, have you started looking for a plan to stop for good? In my own experience when the shame goes away and you haven't come up with a plan to execute sobriety and to handle all the obstacles, you end right back in the same position as you are now. I have faith in you Dim! Let's stop for good together!

ScottFromWI

Welcome back Dim. What are you willing to do this time to make sure it's the last? Making amends is something for later...staying sober need to be your absolute priority for a while.

Dim

Thanks for the quick replies. I'm glad I'm not going this alone. i'm the verge of losing my job, my gf, my friends and my family. I feel so sorry for what I've put them through and I just need one more chance to prove to them that I'm better than this and I can beat this horrible disease. I'm committed to AA meetings as soon as I get through these withdrawals. whatever it takes.

Dee74

don't wait too long Dim - get there as soon as you can

D

sva777

Don't give up Dim the first few weeks are the hardest, the booze is tricky and try to such us back in.

Soberwolf

Hello Dim if you want to stay sober build a plan & take alcohol off the menu

No matter what Dim doesn't drink

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

KiKi0615

This is great! Thank you Wolf!!!

48heath

Sorry you are struggling Dim.

If you are planning to attend AA meetings,ring your local helpline as soon as you can.Don't wait until you feel well again.

Wishing you well.

Ruby2

There's always hope Dim. Read the link and craft a plan. Repeat to yourself that no matter what, you don't drink.

Make something part of recovery. I come on SR every day, reading and posting. I attend AA meetings. I reach out in real life to friends I've made in AA so if I am struggling, I can reach out.

Don't worry now about the other stuff. Focus on staying sober. The other things will fall into place. Sobriety takes dedicated effort. It is work but it's so important. Be well.

On The Road

Dim, sobriety doesn't just happen - it's something that you actively DO. You have to make a plan to do things differently than you have in the past. And it starts with: don't drink. Ever.

SoberInCLE

That sounds like a horrid experience that would scare anyone. A lot of self-blame and self-loathing feelings are normal too, I think, when you know you need to stop drinking. I try and just focus on the main thing - not drinking - when I am upset with myself.