Blown it disgusted with myself!
 

Hi, I've been doing well the last few months, but out of nowhere I blew everything and was drunk every night last week. I'm starting again tomorrow and going to start with a new counsellor. I feel hopeless but I keep trying to remind myself that's my AV getting its claws back in. I want to be healthy again and free. Please pray I get my head straight and kick my demons into touch.
Thank you 😔

Blessings, Lookingforchange. I too am stumbling all over my goals and desires. I hope we can both achieve a better life. Best of luck to you,

Lookingforchange I know it's hard when you start reaching weeks and months and then drink again...it can be so frustrating and disappointing. But let's have some hope for tomorrow, I'm right here with you!

Thank you. I know I've got to stop! I don't understand my self destruction at times. I'm going to do whatever it takes.

Thats a great starting point LFC - welcome back :)

D

I don't understand mine either. Congratulations for getting as far as you did. My longest has been 5 days. I've realized very sadly that I'm NOT one of those "unwind with one glass of wine at night" kind of women. My mother in law can do that. She can have a glass or two and then put the glass in the dishwasher. I drink until I "feel" it. And the point to "feeling" it gets higher and higher each time. I HATE myself for that.


You've got this. Keep trying. Make tomorrow a new day.

BellJar

Lookingforchange do you start with a new counselor tomorrow as well?

I start Thursday with the councellor. I've found they're the voice of reasons, help me change destructive thought patterns and behaviours. Changing the things that make me want to drink. There was a big trigger last week but still I def should have known drink is not the answer, all the craving came flooding back in. Tomorrow I'll be going to work without my purse and my running kit is ready for when I return so I can literally run my cravings out.

Maybe talk to your counselor about how to deal with triggers, at least you have identified one. I am impressed you run! Good for you, you have a healthy fighting spirit :)

Welcome bk

You can do it :)