Help! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read





Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-08-2015, 10:27 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Keepnitreal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690

Help!


I feel so defeated. I was only sober 11 days and was doing well, but my family was away and I knew they wouldn't know if I drank so I did. Now I feel so horrible and I don't know what to do. 😭
Keepnitreal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Keepnitreal For This Useful Post:
C23 (11-16-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 10:36 AM   #2 (permalink)
Been there, done that!
 
Lionhearted1's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London
Posts: 539
Blog Entries: 1
I understand that.. I use to think if no one knew it was ok to drink the truth is for me it's never ok to drink because Iam harming myself more than anybody.. Stop for yourself and then you could be on a desert island surrounded by booze and you would still not drink..

As for feeling horrible, dont beat yourself up jump back into recovery and chalk it down as a lesson learnt!

Good luck. Peace
Lionhearted1 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Lionhearted1 For This Useful Post:
CurlyGirl1978 (11-08-2015), Keepnitreal (11-08-2015), TNTStill (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 10:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
I could see peace instead of this
 
Bird615's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,361
Blog Entries: 11
Look at it all as practice. If something doesn't work, examine what you did and look into what you could add to that, or even do differently. Keep trying until you find something that's working for you.

I find that it helps me a lot to have some kind of recovery program to follow as well as face-to-face support from other people. Just stopping drinking all by itself didn't work for me.

Feeling horrible and having the ability to clearly remember just how awful that was also helps me to not pick up that first drink today.
__________________
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today."
-Alcoholics Anonymous
Bird615 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bird615 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 10:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
JD
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
As lionhearted said, chalk it up to a learning experience for next time. It's pretty typical for the AV to tell you "you're alone, no one will know, just have one" So next time you're alone have a plan on how you'll cope with that situation.
JD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JD For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 10:54 AM   #5 (permalink)
Trudgin
 
Fly N Buy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,343
Yea, we cheat on ourselves - that's really the issue. No one will know, except for me....

In your other post you mentioned meetings - is this AA? Do you have numbers to call, people to talk to when you feel this way - a sponsor??

These are some of the human "tools" we refer to , along with the spiritual took kit in AA.

Get to a meeting - share what happened and listen to others experience, strength and hope. We have to make calls, post and use our plan before we pick up.....

Glad you're back, you're not alone!
Fly N Buy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Fly N Buy For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 11:00 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
Only thing you can do is learn from it , you can select some positive aspects from your 11 days and move on NOW , capitals deliberate as we only can live in the now , the past is past end of .

A day at a time living our life and keeping away from the 1 st drink is advice every recovery movement on earth recommend , I am sober over 9 years and yet I am on the same footing as you ,we are both one drink away from a drunk , ok I have more experience than you at present but I did exactly the same as you , I was sober 22 months and lifted a drink so you can give me credit for ''knowing how you feel to lose some sobriety time '' most of the successful people on earth made many mistakes , but learned from them ,so toughen up start again with new found determination , take care .

Regards .
Stevie.
stevieg46 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to stevieg46 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 11:15 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
Keepnitreal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Yea, we cheat on ourselves - that's really the issue. No one will know, except for me....

In your other post you mentioned meetings - is this AA? Do you have numbers to call, people to talk to when you feel this way - a sponsor??

These are some of the human "tools" we refer to , along with the spiritual took kit in AA.


I do have a sponsor and I should have called her, but made the choice not to. Will she want to hear from me now or do I need to find a new sponsor? Thanks to all of you for your support. I really thought I had this weekend without the family under control, but once I got the idea I didn't even try to fight it and that's what has me so frightened!
Keepnitreal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Keepnitreal For This Useful Post:
Fly N Buy (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 11:47 AM   #8 (permalink)
JD
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Call your sponsor. It'll be hard and embarrassing but she'll want to know and can help you next time.
JD is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JD For This Useful Post:
Fly N Buy (11-08-2015), Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 12:08 PM   #9 (permalink)
April
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,417
Blog Entries: 4
Pick yourself up & try again

Take alcohol off the menu
Soberwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 12:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 51,218
I don't know about the sponsor, but I know drinking while at home alone was a great temptation for me, too. I decided that I would make myself get out of the house or do something special for myself when I was alone, to help get over that initial desire to use alcohol when I was on my own.

Try to come up with a plan for next time this happens and stick with it. Recovery is a learning process and you should be proud of the 11 days sober that you had.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

Marianne Williamson
Anna is online now   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
CurlyGirl1978 (11-08-2015), Dee74 (11-08-2015), Fly N Buy (11-08-2015), Keepnitreal (11-08-2015), Mags1 (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 01:17 PM   #11 (permalink)
Member
 
Keepnitreal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Thank you Anna

I knew that keeping busy was super important, but I was stuck at home because I had a little outpatient surgery. It was the "perfect storm" ....Hubby and son were away for the weekend and I was alone without the "wine police". Bad move on my part. I think what scares me the most is that as soon as the thought popped in my head I caved instead of reaching out. I really let myself down. But it's time to pick myself up and start at day 1 again. I hope I never do this again.
Keepnitreal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Keepnitreal For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (11-08-2015), Mags1 (11-08-2015), thomas11 (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 01:25 PM   #12 (permalink)
Member
 
CurlyGirl1978's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 268
Keepnitreal at least you reached out now, you know? You could have let this take you under but you didn't. Just call day 11 as a bump in the road and get it movin! Congrats on 11 days!
__________________
Pick up your true potential and put down the bottle....
CurlyGirl1978 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to CurlyGirl1978 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 01:53 PM   #13 (permalink)
Trudgin
 
Fly N Buy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,343
Sponsors are just other folks with problems they too are working on - their responses will be as such varied. But talking to someone before we pick up can help us through the speed bumps!

Desire, willingness with an open mind and heart are the keys.
Fly N Buy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Fly N Buy For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 01:59 PM   #14 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 174,976
Blog Entries: 1
Hi keepnitreal

try not to be too discouraged - this is a hard fight.

Do you think you're resentful at your family for being the 'wine police'?

Maybe it's better to focus on yourself and look at why a part of you still sees drinking as a viable option?

By asking yourself the hard questions, maybe you can work out a better recovery plan for yourself?

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015), Mags1 (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 06:38 PM   #15 (permalink)
Member
 
thomas11's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 7,828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keepnitreal View Post
I knew that keeping busy was super important, but I was stuck at home because I had a little outpatient surgery. It was the "perfect storm" ....Hubby and son were away for the weekend and I was alone without the "wine police". Bad move on my part. I think what scares me the most is that as soon as the thought popped in my head I caved instead of reaching out. I really let myself down. But it's time to pick myself up and start at day 1 again. I hope I never do this again.
That's the spirit. Get right back at it. My worst drinking was done when I thought I could get away with it and no one would find out. Thought is would be "freeing". It ended up being a living hell.
thomas11 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to thomas11 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 06:58 PM   #16 (permalink)
Member
 
OnMyWay7's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 1,053
I get it - on the plane the other day I was like "oh I can have just one and no one would know" and I had to stop myself and remind myself what it will lead to and that I'm doing this for me. That's the nasty addiction talking - next time ignore him.
__________________
Whatever grows in your life is what's been planted there, what has been nurtured, fed and given time and attention. What is growing in your garden?
OnMyWay7 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to OnMyWay7 For This Useful Post:
C23 (11-16-2015), Healthygoals (11-09-2015), Keepnitreal (11-08-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 09:29 PM   #17 (permalink)
Member
 
Keepnitreal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Dee, Thomas, OnmyWay and all. Yes, I think I have resented my hubby for being the "wine police" because what always seemed like harmless fun turned out to be an issue because he would call me out...not every time I drank but at least once or twice a month and then we would get into a fight. Bottom line...while most times I was fun, sometimes I would get mean and that's a horrible situation for everybody. I knew I could hide a binge weekend from him because he was gone, but I also knew I couldn't lie to my sponsor or the people who had been so kind in AA the past couple of weeks. Anyway, I did tell my sponsor. I was terribly humiliated, but she was amazing. I'm now writing about why I want to be sober, why I drank, and what I was looking for etc.... She made a comment that made a lot of sense..."Alcoholics drink, that's what we do. If it was easy to quit there wouldn't be AA." I will just start working the steps and remember to thank god for every sober day that I have!!! I'm also grateful for each of you!
Keepnitreal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Keepnitreal For This Useful Post:
Berrybean (11-08-2015), Dee74 (11-08-2015), Healthygoals (11-09-2015), Mags1 (11-08-2015), thomas11 (11-09-2015)
Old 11-08-2015, 09:34 PM   #18 (permalink)
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 174,976
Blog Entries: 1
Sounds like a great new start

D
__________________
Dee74 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Keepnitreal (11-09-2015), Mags1 (11-08-2015)
Old 11-16-2015, 04:50 PM   #19 (permalink)
Member
 
Keepnitreal's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Southern California
Posts: 690
Day 8 of "new start" complete. I can't wait to get to 30,60,,90!!!!!
Keepnitreal is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Keepnitreal For This Useful Post:
C23 (11-16-2015), Dee74 (11-16-2015), GoesWithTheFlow (11-16-2015), thomas11 (11-16-2015)
Old 11-16-2015, 10:51 PM   #20 (permalink)
April
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 66,417
Blog Entries: 4
One day at a time my friend have a great day today
Soberwolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:13 PM.