Raeven

I posted last night and woke to many encouraging replies this morning. Part of me is still in denial that I have a problem. I quit for a week before, then drank lightly, then, before I realized it, I polished off a bottle of Whiskey in about 4 hours. I guess I'm lucky I'm still breathing. That was Thursday. I woke up Friday, a little shaky, but went to work and acted like it was a normal day. (Part of the I don't have a problem is I still went to work every day). I started drinking for real to cope with the horror of a really ugly divorce, where he got most of my money since he has refused to work and the court gave me all the bills and him all my cash. I will be in debt about 5 years paying it all off. It started as a glass of wine in the evening and escalated.
Now I'm wondering how I was so stupid. Day 3 I'm got cravings, I feel like "just one" would help but I know I wouldn't stop. It is a scary time.

Thank you all for the support and encouragement.

Anna

Good for you and Day 3 will be hopefully be a good one for you.

soulpower89

Raeven, thank you for coming here and sharing. I can only imagine how difficult it must be -- my mom and dad divorced when I was 10, and it was nasty too. He basically left her with nothing... she still harbours a lot of resentment, 16 years later... I think the important thing is to somehow find something else that can calm you down and help you release stress, but in a manner that is constructive and not DEstructive. Alcohol only helps for so long - it puts a hazy film over the problems, but generally makes it much worse. You know that. Your health is your greatest wealth... Have you tried meditation, yoga, or another positive hobby? Even writing down your thoughts might be cathartic. Come here anytime, we're rooting for you!!

sva777

Keep on going for day four and five your doing great. Finishing off a bottle of whiskey in four hours probably means a problem has arisen. What size was the bottle? Don't let the voice in your head talk you into drinking it will just prolong the pain.

Raeven

full size, 5th? It is tough but the support here helps more than I can say.
I guess I'm lucky that I haven't had physical issues, just emotional. Per the sites I've viewed that is a good sign, but maybe emotional addiction is as bad as physical.

I do give myself a little credit for not driving, ever, and for skipping my prescription sleeping meds after drinking too much. But those are tiny victories compared to not drinking until tomorrow...

biminiblue

Just hang on Raeven. This first week will be uncomfortable, you may have trouble sleeping, may be shaky, may have intense emotions. All of this is common in early sobriety.

The thing with your ex is that drinking won't solve it, and it only hurts you. I find resentments are like that. When I find forgiveness, the need for action disappears.

You're doing great. You'll make it, I'm sure

Welcome to the site.

Yukyuk

I'm on day 3 as well. Lets keep going and have a nice sober work week coming up.

sva777

How are you doing Raeven? What are your plans for today?