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Old 11-08-2015, 05:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
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I hit bottom


Here we go again. A lifetime of lies, dragging loved ones along with the "i dont have a problem" lie. In fact i have been "sober" for many years, just ask me. I am ready to come clean, and admit that i cant live like this. A life without booze scares me to death. But its time to embrace it. My current path is unsustainable. Always was. And only a matter of time until i do something that i cant take back w more lies.
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:43 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You don't have to feel like this ever again. Start right now. Don't pick up the poison no matter what, no matter where or when. You can do it. You can be the person you were meant to be and live your life free of these shackles. Make this commitment, it's the best thing you'll ever do for yourself. Stay close the forum, read and post a lot. We're here for you.
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdpg View Post
A life without booze scares me to death.
Fear of sobriety is probably the most reliable indication of addiction I've ever run across. I had it in spades.

Starve that addiction for a hundred days and report back. You will find that drinking has been causing that fear of not drinking. (And sobriety cures it!)

You can do this.
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:53 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks

Thanks for the encouragement. I am dreading the call to my wife. I am hoping to get liberated from this. Its so impressive to me to hear people talk about their addictions. It is so unlike me to be like that. But i need to try. There has to be a better way.
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Old 11-08-2015, 05:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
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There has to be a better way.
There is.
Read around on the forums. Thousands of people have found answers here. There are many paths to happy sober living.

Find Yours.

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Old 11-08-2015, 05:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Fear of sobriety

Indeed, i feel like i am not "on" or able to be who i want to be without booze. Its crazy. Its a cycle that has to stop.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:00 AM   #7 (permalink)
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There is a better way and the only way to stop the cycle is to stop.

I think we all had this fear of quitting... What's the call to your wife about?
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:01 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hello wdpg, we're all here working on our sobriety. If we can do it so can you. There are a lot of good resources and people here to help you. It's a pretty simple concept, just don't drink, but it's not easy to put into practice. It takes a good plan to maintain sobriety.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:01 AM   #9 (permalink)
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consider it a sign

Quote:
Originally Posted by wdpg View Post

And only a matter of time until i do something that i cant take back w more lies.
We see and hear about many alcoholics that don't see that coming until it's way too late.

I would consider it a sign -- a good sign.

We made a firm decision -- not to drink again.

MM
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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There is a better way and the only way to stop the cycle is to stop.

I think we all had this fear of quitting... What's the call to your wife about?
To admit that i was drunk last night.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:09 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome back WDPG. Honesty is the key to getting started on a sober life, especially beign honest with yourself. I lived the same lie for years myself, and finally "coming clean" was liberating. Call your wife and get started on getting better.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:15 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wdpg View Post
To admit that i was drunk last night.
I don't know your situation, you do what you have to do... In my experience, it works well when actions come first. After many broken promises and attempts to quit, one day I just did it without telling anyone. Until later...

But I agree you have to be honest and accountable. It may help to tell her.

Take care of yourself, wdpg, do your very best for yourself and for your family!
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:21 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I hope the call to your wife goes well.

You may be surprised at how much you enjoy the sober life.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 11-08-2015, 06:56 AM   #14 (permalink)
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"It's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave."

I think this sums it up. The first part is always the most difficult, but with each step, it gets a little easier, and you become a little stronger. You need to give yourself time to get used to change, and I think you'll find you enjoy your different lifestyle more than you think, and see alcohol for the crutch it is.
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Old 11-08-2015, 06:59 AM   #15 (permalink)
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"It's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave."
Love this quote!
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Old 11-08-2015, 12:49 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I had to come clean to my fiance about my drinking. I felt so ashamed, this just spurred me on after thinking about it so much, if i feel ashamed about drinking the way i do then i shouldn't drink. 3 wks in, its hard, but i HAVE to live like this otherwise i could lose everything.

U can do it!!!!! Just bite the bullet & b honest. Once the initial shame is dealt with ull feel better that there are no lies!
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Old 11-08-2015, 02:22 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Welcome back WDPG

Have you thought any about what your recovery plan may look like this time?

D
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Old 11-08-2015, 04:22 PM   #18 (permalink)
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yes, have given it a lot of thought. I have to admit that this time it is for real. I have always held onto the idea that I could drink again in the future. As a result I have been living a double life...finding ways and times where i can drink where no one that knows the 'sober' me will see. As I reread that, I can't believe how pathetic that sounds.
This time around, I will make people aware of the fact that I know longer drink...and will have a deeper conversation with those closest to me. I have a great family/friends/colleagues, and I know that all will be supportive. Most importantly, their awareness makes me accountable. Something that i have been avoiding for a long, long, time. I have long feared a life without drinking...I am working on embracing a life where I can be honest, healthy, and happy. Thanks for the support on this site.
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Old 11-09-2015, 12:33 AM   #19 (permalink)
What's the world coming to when you can't trust an recovering alcoholic ex degenerate gambler huh ?
 
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Wdpg here's some links to build a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html
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Old 11-09-2015, 01:05 AM   #20 (permalink)
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identify the fear and walk through it

We hit bottom when we stop digging you don't have to lose as much as everyone else your bottom is your bottom what are you going to do about it what I did was go to the fellowship AA talk with real live people look them in the eyes but honest stuck with the people who looked and acted happy you can see it in their eyes there is a way out there is a way that you can recreate your life it's simple not easy although if you have the willingness the honesty and an open mind you don't ever have to feel this way again just not drinking is not enough if you read page 52 in the book Alcoholics Anonymous and answer yes to any of those questions probably a good idea to take the steps sober means not drunk recover means to return to health from a sickness I lived in the denial the insanity to queer mental states surrounding that first drink the thought the I could drink normally or control it and the insane idea always one out we have a progressive illness and we die I have a physical allergy a mental obsession and once I start to drink I developed the phenomenon of craving and when I developed the phenomenon of craving I don't even think about the consequences I had to have a psychic change a change in my thinking a sponsor who can guide you through the steps out of the book Alcoholics Anonymous can help you find a power greater than yourself which will solve your problem it's time to stop talking about it and be about it
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