MIRecovery

My niece quits drinking for a month every year which she says is a hard thing to do but she does it. She is convinced she doesn't have a problem because according to her she experiences no negative consequences. Which to some degree I believe.

Her mother (my sister) died when she was young and her father is not the most mentally stable person so there is no one I can connect with about her drinking.

All I know is to me quitting drinking for a month is a huge red flag because normal drinkers see no point to quitting something that isn't a problem

JD

I don't think they do. The only ones I know who do that are those that do have some concerns on their alcohol use. But as we know, it's really up to them to decide for themselves whether they have a problem or not.

SoberLife90

I agree. I think a normal person wouldn't put much thought into it. They just wouldn't do it lol.

Force

What defines a "normal" drinker? The same that defines a "normal" Crack smoker? I know you are concerned, however you will never be able to decide or convince someone else that they have a problem.

Soberwolf

It depends Mir there is lots of campaigns to raise awareness & funds of other things like in the UK The cancer charity McMillan just finished a go sober for October & they'l do it again in January I bet there is a lot of ppl who stopped drinking through these campaigns after the month was done so there's that

How can quitting drinking for a month be a red flag its a great chance to recognise the problem if there even is one I kinda see what you mean but its up to the person to seek help

No offence btw if your neice says there isn't a problem then I doubt your going to change her mind or 'connect' with someone about her drinking

I get it its your neice my neice goes out with friends sometimes & drinks but until she says uncle can you help the most I can do is share my own experience & she don't want to hear it she's 21 she has said can it happen to me & I replied it can happen to anyone

Nonsensical

I did when I was a normal drinker.

Why does she quit for a month? Why not 2 weeks? Why not 3 months?

Is it the same month every year to commemorate something?

ScottFromWI

You'll probably get lots of varying opinions on this MIR, but in reality all that matters is whether she thinks it's a problem or not. She's the only one that can do anything about it.

chicory

Perhaps, MIR, she is proving to herself that she can quit, if she ever thinks she should?

I am glad she has a caring uncle

ccam1973

MiR, I fall on the side of thinking the length of time someone can abstain doesn't define whether or not they have a problem. I think if drinking itself has a negative impact on someone's life then there is a problem. Like Nons said... why not quit for 2 weeks, 2 months, 4 months... the length of time doesn't really matter.

Normal drinkers can take it or leave it. I don't think they have to try to quit, they simply don't drink or plan their lives around drinking like we do... or used to do.

Gonnachange

I have friends who abstain every January.

entropy1964

I know people that quit for specific reasons....weight loss, training for an event. I'm not sure what a normal drinker is. Maybe a person that drinks purely for social purposes. Never any other. And stops once the affects alter them. So 1-2 drinks. But there is such a spectrum of drinkers.....and a heavy drinker can be just that, and not be an alcoholic. Is she mentally obsessed with drinking? I think that's one of the key differentiaters. But quitting just to see if they can? That's a bit of a warning...imo

PurpleKnight

Only time I've ever heard of someone quitting alcohol other than with the concern of a potential problem, is for charity or some kind of fitness/diet regime etc, usually in January.

MIRecovery

I guess I look it like quitting Brussel Sprouts. I garentee I'm never going to have an addiction to them so why quit?

Fly N Buy

My "month" of abstainene would get shorter and shorter = starting with Feburary as there's only 28 days, then making Fridays not part of the deal, leadig to weekends off - of course 3 day weekends.........etc, etc.....

Towards the end of that project you'd have to catch me by the 2nd or 3rd of the month to under .08 ............

Have friend who quits for lent, mostly - except wine I think.

Frank14

As others have said, it probably depends on whether her "normal" drinking behavior has a negative impact on her life. My father in-law drinks 2 glasses of wine every night. He stops at 2 glasses, and I would say does not have any problem with alcohol. He's from Europe where wine drinking is part of their culture. He had to have surgery on his prostate a few years back and had to stop for a while, and that was very difficult for him.

We really need more information to form an opinion on this one, such as, how much is she drinking normally, what problems with her drinking is she having, if any, and why does she stop for a month every year? However, at the end of the day, it's really her opinion whether she has a problem or not. Offhand, I'd say she probably doesn't have a problem and seems pretty strong willed. I mean, I'm in my first month and there's no flipping way in hell I'd want to go through this again!

Force

This is comparing apples to oranges...
That's why I would never even attempt to discuss my addiction with someone who has never actually been through it....

KidsEverywhere

I think about it like smoking. I don't smoke and the thought of smoking and then not smoking for a period of time and then picking it back up is a foreign thought. I might smoke a part of a cigar playing golf one a year, but I wouldn't even bother to get one on my way to the golf course- I would only smoke one if offered. Then maybe not even.
If you are consciously doing or not doing anything, it makes me wonder how much it is on your conscious.

hopepraylove

Hi there!

"Normal drinker" here. (What does normal mean anyway?) I'm a "normie" by many standards. No drugs for me, but I enjoy a cocktail every now and then.

I probably average 1-2 drinks a week (if that.) But, sometimes I'll have work events, go out with friends, special occasions, etc and have a bit more.

Sometimes, I won't drink at all for weeks. Just really depends.

But, to answer your question: yes.

I'll say to myself "eh, I'm going to do no drink November, and give my body a cleanse." Sometimes when I'm feeling run-down at work, I'll go a few weeks without drinking to not compromise my immune system.

OpenTuning

I agree with the idea that stopping for a month, in itself, doesn't say anything other than the fact that she can stop drinking for a month. As mentioned, there are a number of campaigns aimed at getting people to do that she might have read about and thought worth going along with.

What I'd be careful about is implying to her that taking a month off is a sign she has a problem. Because that might lead her to decide not to take a month off again, particularly if she feels it's making you worried. Whatever her reasons for it, any time spent not-drinking is a good thing. And if she does later decide she has a problem, it will help give her confidence that stopping is something she's capable of.

sugarbear1

my concern would be that she does not stay stopped with no problem.....

she keeps going back.....

not being able to stay stopped is part of my problem!