tomsteve

the great thing is if she ever thinks its a problem and needs help she has an uncle that can be there.

MIRecovery

Love all the responses. Thank you. My personal opinion is she is an early stage alcoholic and the quitting drinking is her way of proving to herself that she still is in control. Which to some degree she is.

Who knows I could be completely wrong and it certainly won't be the first time that happened.

Time will tell and she knows my history if she ever wants someone who has been there and done that

wehav2day

^^^^^^^^^
That sounds like the ticket, Mir. Is really neither here nor there whether quitting for a month at a time makes her an alkie.

I've thought many times my brother is one of us. He drank problematically for years. He has an old DUI. On paper, he's a way bigger alkie than me!!

As it turns out, he is the normie and I'm the alkie. He and his wife quit for a year to support me in my recovery. Now they drink here and there. Dudes fine. Go figure

My other brother, not so much. He's come to me with his worries, he's definitely one of us. But until he decides to do something, I say nothing to him about it.

JimC60

"My personal opinion is she is an early stage alcoholic and the quitting drinking is her way of proving to herself that she still is in control."

You may be right.

" Do normal drinkers quit drinking for a month?"
I don't know, primarily because I don't know what a normal drinker is. I have quit drinking many times for a month, but I never did that on a conscious basis. I never made any effort, it just happens. About the only time DW and I drink is in social situations with other people.

Jim

thomas11

MIR, I understand your concern, but I think its important not to judge. Based on your OP, she may have an issue, she may not. Only she knows. I think we all know someone who we think is a problem drinker, and yet they defy all odds and their life keeps humming along without any consequences. I used to try and figure out how they did it, but I stopped doing that because it was futile. Instead I focused on myself. I definitely could not duplicate what they were doing without consequences.

OpenTuning

Sounds like the right attitude. About 5 years ago I took a month off to prove I didn't have a problem. Did it without too much pain, so gave myself the all clear to carry on as before. So that clearly didn't work.

But it was when it occurred to me that it had been over 5 years since I'd last taken so much as a week off booze, and I did it again, that led me to finally quit. When I finished what ended up as 6 weeks and started drinking again I realised how I genuinely hadn't missed it, and wasn't enjoying that first pint as much as I thought I would. That's when I started looking on here, read about AVRT, thought long and hard about it, and 3 weeks later I quit for good. That was 5 months ago now.

So I'd say it's likely she is a bit worried about how much she drinks, and is testing herself. Maybe she's worried about nothing, maybe she does have a problem. But it's good to know that if she does decide she needs help, she has an uncle who cares so much about her and will be there for her.

LexieCat

I know people who have taken breaks from sugar, caffeine, etc., as part of a periodic "cleanse". BUT I spent four years doing Moderation Management (which advocates doing a "30"--a 30-day break from alcohol--as part of learning "controlled drinking). My 30, a few months in, was a piece of cake. But when it was over I drank as much as ever, and my drinking continued to progress during the next four years.

Ditto that you are modeling happy sobriety for her whenever she is ready to be DONE.

esinger

Sometimes it's difficult but I try not to diagnose others habits. All you can do is give advise if they ask for it. Unsolicited advice is not usually heard and quite frankly annoying. What is normal? I guess I was a normal drinker cause I normally drank. Now I guess I'm no longer a normal drinker.