Is this a Panic Attack?
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Is this a Panic Attack?
Hello:
I need perspective. Yesterday a broke down crying and I think I had some kind of attack. I Felt overwhelmed, my mind was racing and I started almost hyperventilating as I was crying. I kept sobbing and breathing. It was very strange. It is the second time that I have cried like this or had this kind of episode. The first time was when I was starting my sobriety about 19 month ago and I had to open up to my husband about something terrible had happened to me. I had to get it out or I was not going to be able to move on. That time I cried the same way. He was caring and concerned. He really didn't know how to take it. It was a time when I was dealing with a lot of emotions that I needed to work through in order to commit to sobriety. Kind of concluding a chapter to start a new one .
Last night while this was happening my husband was in the basement and heard me so he came up. I was so upset because we had been fighting but it wasn't only the fight with him. It was a lot of other things just mounting that suddenly exploded. He came up and I really don't know very well how he reacted because I had my face buried in my hands and I didn't see him, but I could hear him first telling me to calm down but I can't figure out what his tone was. It was a mixture of anger but worry... I don't know. So after this I start calming down and my husband calls me psycho...
At first I wanted to say that I don't care about what he says to me but honestly I do. He is my husband. At the same time he can say whatever he wants and then I'll use it later to expose how ignorant he is about mental health. He doesn't see me as an alcoholic and I honestly think he believes that I could moderate.
The fight itself wasn't horrible until he called me out in front of our little daughter. That is what really hurts me. He also lets our fights get into his relationship with her. If he is mad at me he will not come with us when she goes to bed and she will have to call him and beg him to come. He tells her he has to work and that's ridiculous. I get irate because he lets his anger towards me affect their relationship. I don't think that is right. I quit drinking in part because I didn't want to be that example for my daughter and I I am trying to be the best mother I can be. I feel disappointed that he doesn't want to focus on their relationship and not let me affect them. I'm not saying that I am not to blame for bad behavior too, but I never let my anger towards him affect my relationship with my daughter.
I am definitely not going to drink about this. These things are the kind of things that actually fuel me to be sober.
Now my question: what was that? An anxiety attack or just a good cry? I felt exhausted after and I actually feel better today. Less wound up. During the "episode" I did tell my hubby that I was losing it, I felt like I was.
What do you guys think? How can I communicate with him? He finally said that I should go to therapy, something that I have mentioned in the past but he doesn't believe in.
PS: thanks for reading long post.
I need perspective. Yesterday a broke down crying and I think I had some kind of attack. I Felt overwhelmed, my mind was racing and I started almost hyperventilating as I was crying. I kept sobbing and breathing. It was very strange. It is the second time that I have cried like this or had this kind of episode. The first time was when I was starting my sobriety about 19 month ago and I had to open up to my husband about something terrible had happened to me. I had to get it out or I was not going to be able to move on. That time I cried the same way. He was caring and concerned. He really didn't know how to take it. It was a time when I was dealing with a lot of emotions that I needed to work through in order to commit to sobriety. Kind of concluding a chapter to start a new one .
Last night while this was happening my husband was in the basement and heard me so he came up. I was so upset because we had been fighting but it wasn't only the fight with him. It was a lot of other things just mounting that suddenly exploded. He came up and I really don't know very well how he reacted because I had my face buried in my hands and I didn't see him, but I could hear him first telling me to calm down but I can't figure out what his tone was. It was a mixture of anger but worry... I don't know. So after this I start calming down and my husband calls me psycho...
At first I wanted to say that I don't care about what he says to me but honestly I do. He is my husband. At the same time he can say whatever he wants and then I'll use it later to expose how ignorant he is about mental health. He doesn't see me as an alcoholic and I honestly think he believes that I could moderate.
The fight itself wasn't horrible until he called me out in front of our little daughter. That is what really hurts me. He also lets our fights get into his relationship with her. If he is mad at me he will not come with us when she goes to bed and she will have to call him and beg him to come. He tells her he has to work and that's ridiculous. I get irate because he lets his anger towards me affect their relationship. I don't think that is right. I quit drinking in part because I didn't want to be that example for my daughter and I I am trying to be the best mother I can be. I feel disappointed that he doesn't want to focus on their relationship and not let me affect them. I'm not saying that I am not to blame for bad behavior too, but I never let my anger towards him affect my relationship with my daughter.
I am definitely not going to drink about this. These things are the kind of things that actually fuel me to be sober.
Now my question: what was that? An anxiety attack or just a good cry? I felt exhausted after and I actually feel better today. Less wound up. During the "episode" I did tell my hubby that I was losing it, I felt like I was.
What do you guys think? How can I communicate with him? He finally said that I should go to therapy, something that I have mentioned in the past but he doesn't believe in.
PS: thanks for reading long post.
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I think it's not so important what you call it, but how you can help yourself so this doesn't continue to happen. You mentioned that there were other things, aside from the fight with your husband, that led to you being so upset. Maybe you could look at one or two of those things and try to find a way to work your way through it.
Have you considered couples counselling so that you could both work together to raise your daughter? It's not likely that you are going to be able to change your husband, but you can change the way you react to what's happening. You can take the high road and focus on your daughter and yourself.
Have you considered couples counselling so that you could both work together to raise your daughter? It's not likely that you are going to be able to change your husband, but you can change the way you react to what's happening. You can take the high road and focus on your daughter and yourself.
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: South Africa
Posts: 168
nervous breakdown?
Sounds like stress and potentially anxiety or close to a nervous breakdown. Take care of yourself.
I suffer from panic attacks and usually it comes out of nowhere and i literally feel like I'm having a heart attack. Don't try and put a label on it but know that something is wrong. Take some deep breaths and get to the root of it.
I suffer from panic attacks and usually it comes out of nowhere and i literally feel like I'm having a heart attack. Don't try and put a label on it but know that something is wrong. Take some deep breaths and get to the root of it.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
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I am going to go with Anna on this one and recommend going to couples counseling as I think that would be a big help.
I think this might have been an emotional breakdown due to many factors which you outlined in your post. I would probably say it was not a panic or anxiety attack as the symptoms are usually a little different. Anxiety attacks that I have had usually come out of nowhere unexpected and make me feel like I am going to die or pass out.
As Anna said it doesn't really matter, really all that matters is that you felt emotional enough to break down and cry which happens to everyone at times. I am glad you decided not to drink and I hope you and your husband can work through this.
I think this might have been an emotional breakdown due to many factors which you outlined in your post. I would probably say it was not a panic or anxiety attack as the symptoms are usually a little different. Anxiety attacks that I have had usually come out of nowhere unexpected and make me feel like I am going to die or pass out.
As Anna said it doesn't really matter, really all that matters is that you felt emotional enough to break down and cry which happens to everyone at times. I am glad you decided not to drink and I hope you and your husband can work through this.
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Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: ontario
Posts: 61
Sorry you went through all that. My opinion, when we drink it kind of covers our emotions, but will no alcohol we have a hole new set of things to figure out and how to deal emotions, frustrastion ect. We dont have that glass to help us cope. Maybe thats it?
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
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Emotions in sobriety are awfully powerful, especially because we are so used to numbing ourselves all the time.
Doesn't sound like anxiety, just emotional exhaustion. Its good to let it all out, really strips you down, and see things from a different angle sometimes.
Doesn't sound like anxiety, just emotional exhaustion. Its good to let it all out, really strips you down, and see things from a different angle sometimes.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,251
I;m really sorry you are having such a tough time. I agree with the others, it doesn't sound like a panic/anxiety attack, as others have mentioned that usually comes out of the blue and it feels like you are dying. Not hyperventilating, but more that you just cannot breathe. Most people end up in the ER the first time they have one as it feels so similar to a heart attack.
As for your husband, I would definitely second the couples counseling route. From what you have said it might be difficult to get him to agree to that, but it is worth trying. Everything is worth trying at this point. Do you have mediators where you are? I think they are generally used when people are going through a divorce, but I have heard of a few examples of couples in crisis using them. Maybe he would be more open to the word "mediation" instead of "therapy" Though I think they are very similar.
You have a lot on your plate, your own emotional stuff to deal with, your sobriety, taking care of your child, etc. His stuff is his stuff. I get that you wish it were different, and I agree, it would be nice if he were more supportive towards you and had the emotional maturity to not put your daughter in the middle. But for now he is not. Don't get dragged in to a cycle of drama. Try to concentrate on your reactions and being the best mother and partner you can be. Set an example of positive parenting. Hopefully if you don't engage with his passive aggressiveness he will come around and realize that putting your daughter in the middle does nothing but cause pain for everyone involved.
As for your husband, I would definitely second the couples counseling route. From what you have said it might be difficult to get him to agree to that, but it is worth trying. Everything is worth trying at this point. Do you have mediators where you are? I think they are generally used when people are going through a divorce, but I have heard of a few examples of couples in crisis using them. Maybe he would be more open to the word "mediation" instead of "therapy" Though I think they are very similar.
You have a lot on your plate, your own emotional stuff to deal with, your sobriety, taking care of your child, etc. His stuff is his stuff. I get that you wish it were different, and I agree, it would be nice if he were more supportive towards you and had the emotional maturity to not put your daughter in the middle. But for now he is not. Don't get dragged in to a cycle of drama. Try to concentrate on your reactions and being the best mother and partner you can be. Set an example of positive parenting. Hopefully if you don't engage with his passive aggressiveness he will come around and realize that putting your daughter in the middle does nothing but cause pain for everyone involved.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
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Hi Nowsthetime
I don't know much about your background so I can only share my own experience with this kind of thing. I had some bad 'stuff' happen to me as a child. This stuff didn't start to really surface until I had my own child...and then when she experienced a bad situation (nothing like my situation) it triggered all kinds of trauma related anxiety and finally ptsd episodes. Ok so where am I going with this? Sometimes if we confide in a partner something major that affected us, something that might have been at the core of our issues/addictions it can trigger trauma anxiety. I don't know if this is at all what you're experiencing but that is what it brought up for me.
Your husband may have made you feel helpless, bad about yourself. And calling you psycho? That's awful. My guess is your feelings and situation scare him. On the one hand he wants to help, badly. But he doesn't know how, so it makes him angry. That's a common reaction. He doesn't realize that he doesn't need to fix you, he just needs to be there. That's hard for a lot of people.
I don't think you are having a breakdown
I think stuff is coming up that needs to be dealt with. Yes, couples therapy, maybe in the future. But it sounds like you need to start with you. Much of this is in how you react to it. Learning what is driving these emotional outpourings and how to deal with them is a start. Then realizing that your husband is separate from you and you can't control his feelings, especially with his daughter. He owns that relationship. Anyway, Put your oxygen mask on first. Then reach out to him. Geez sorry if that's way off base....
I don't know much about your background so I can only share my own experience with this kind of thing. I had some bad 'stuff' happen to me as a child. This stuff didn't start to really surface until I had my own child...and then when she experienced a bad situation (nothing like my situation) it triggered all kinds of trauma related anxiety and finally ptsd episodes. Ok so where am I going with this? Sometimes if we confide in a partner something major that affected us, something that might have been at the core of our issues/addictions it can trigger trauma anxiety. I don't know if this is at all what you're experiencing but that is what it brought up for me.
Your husband may have made you feel helpless, bad about yourself. And calling you psycho? That's awful. My guess is your feelings and situation scare him. On the one hand he wants to help, badly. But he doesn't know how, so it makes him angry. That's a common reaction. He doesn't realize that he doesn't need to fix you, he just needs to be there. That's hard for a lot of people.
I don't think you are having a breakdown
I think stuff is coming up that needs to be dealt with. Yes, couples therapy, maybe in the future. But it sounds like you need to start with you. Much of this is in how you react to it. Learning what is driving these emotional outpourings and how to deal with them is a start. Then realizing that your husband is separate from you and you can't control his feelings, especially with his daughter. He owns that relationship. Anyway, Put your oxygen mask on first. Then reach out to him. Geez sorry if that's way off base....
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by Anna 
I think it's not so important what you call it, but how you can help yourself so this doesn't continue to happen. You mentioned that there were other things, aside from the fight with your husband, that led to you being so upset. Maybe you could look at one or two of those things and try to find a way to work your way through it.
Have you considered couples counselling so that you could both work together to raise your daughter? It's not likely that you are going to be able to change your husband, but you can change the way you react to what's happening. You can take the high road and focus on your daughter and yourself.
Have you considered couples counselling so that you could both work together to raise your daughter? It's not likely that you are going to be able to change your husband, but you can change the way you react to what's happening. You can take the high road and focus on your daughter and yourself.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
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Hi guys:
Thanks so much for all your responses. I'm glad that it wasn't a panick attack but it was definitely some kind of episode. I feel better today. Many of the things you have said resonated with me and no one was off base. It's interesting that one of you said that the trauma resurfaced with the birth of a child. This is exactly what happened to me!!!
I HAVE to start wit myself. You guys are so right. I also have trouble expressing my anger and that is something I have to work on. I am sure that out relationship doesn't lack any love. I know my husband loves me to death, I honestly believe he would die to protect me and our daughter and on the same note I also love him more than anything and I am sure I could never find someone like him. Ever. He is definitely my soulmate, two peas in a pot.
I am so happy that I posted and got some perspective. I have realized that as usual my expectations are crazy and this is what always brings me down. I have to just let go of these expectations. I do have a wonderful man and those are rare nowadays.
SR friends, thank you so much for taking the time to give me feedback. You guys have helped me more than you can even imagine.
Thanks so much for all your responses. I'm glad that it wasn't a panick attack but it was definitely some kind of episode. I feel better today. Many of the things you have said resonated with me and no one was off base. It's interesting that one of you said that the trauma resurfaced with the birth of a child. This is exactly what happened to me!!!
I HAVE to start wit myself. You guys are so right. I also have trouble expressing my anger and that is something I have to work on. I am sure that out relationship doesn't lack any love. I know my husband loves me to death, I honestly believe he would die to protect me and our daughter and on the same note I also love him more than anything and I am sure I could never find someone like him. Ever. He is definitely my soulmate, two peas in a pot.
I am so happy that I posted and got some perspective. I have realized that as usual my expectations are crazy and this is what always brings me down. I have to just let go of these expectations. I do have a wonderful man and those are rare nowadays.
SR friends, thank you so much for taking the time to give me feedback. You guys have helped me more than you can even imagine.
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