stevepearce

Well I haven't drunk for 31 day, my longest ever in 25 years. This is down to both my mind being firmly made up and the support I am getting from this site.
I feel much better but am still being heavily 'romanced' by my AV occasionally. I do know that as far as I've got I am still far from out of the woods and probably never will be completely.
I get something out of posting on the site both in terms of exorcizing my feelings and the support it brings and have been inspired by other that have done this sort of thing. So I have decided to start this sober blog.
I will post as and when (probably every day) and will hopefully keep it going into the distant future.
Thank you all for your support so far.

PurpleKnight

Day 31 is fantastic Steve!!

Hevyn

We're so proud of you, Steve. 31 days is fabulous.

Soberish

I like these types of threads, I look forward to reading this as it goes along. Congrats on 31 days!

Soberwolf

Great job Steve

loulou1981

👏👏👏👏👏congrats!!!!

Dharma33

Congrats on 31 days!!!

Lorax1981

Way to go!

Soberwolf

Have a great day Steve

stevepearce

Thanks soberwolf. You too my friend.

stevepearce

Day 33 and here I am. How do I feel ? Ok. I think the last time I gave up drinking which was for 3 weeks I felt a lot brighter, but then I didn't vape nicotine and wasn't looking after 2 children one of who needs feeding during most nights.
All I'm really doing to stay sober is not drinking and coming on here. I don't have any other support or 'a plan'. I'm of mind that as long as I do not drink everything will fall into place. I might be wrong ?
Watched a lot of utube clips last night on spirituality. The fact that we are not truly our body mind experiencing the world but that we are consciousness experiencing our body mind and the world. I also watch Sam Harris talking about free will and the two didn't contradict each other ? Having said that I'm a million miles from being any thing other than severely trapped in my body mind. About as spiritual as a dog at the moment ?
Baby Max is asleep at the moment. I can't believe how much better I am with him now I'm not drinking. His crying angers me so much less. I feel I'm interacting with him and showing him so much more affection. I'm liking the person I am becoming with him.
Making chk soup today, my speciality. My appetite seems to have levelled out or should I say I think my comfort eating to get me though the initial not drinking stage has dropped off.
Anyway I think that's it for now. Bit random I know.
Oh and I'm going out tomorrow night. Others will be drinking. I will stay strong. I will not drink.
Thx Steve

stevepearce

Day 34.
Well I'm going out tonight. So I'm totally focused on that. Others will be drinking. I will not. I'm not really worried about being tempted to drink. But I am worried about how I will feel as it's the first time I have been out since stopping drinking. It's a friend's birthday and we are meeting in a bar. I'm going with my wife who will probably have a few drinks and the kids are with babysitters so we do have to be back by a certain time. I haven't yet decided what to say to people if they ask why I'm not drinking. I'm thinking to just say I just don't enjoy it anymore. I guess I'll just say what feels right at the time. I'm also just worried about how I will deal with being sober and having to socialise, not something I've done much of in the last 25 years. Something for me to learn to do again I guess. Hope it's not too painful. Oh well. Hope you're all well. Byeee.

RollerCoaster21

Hi Steve. I admire your conviction and courage! I am not an alcoholic, but I am the sister of a late stage alcoholic and feel like I have seen and learned a lot. I feel uneasy about your not having a plan for tonight and just seeing how it goes. Perhaps you could establish a plan to order a Coke in a short glass? That way, you will not be confronted by questions about why you are not "drinking." Also, sometimes, people go out, but are not really feeling very social. You will have your wife there and you can talk to her and possibly others, sparingly, without apologies. If you must, you can always just say "long day" and leave it at that. You've got this! I believe in you!

JD

Steve, at least have an escape plan. If things get rough you can get out of there. Even consider driving separately from your wife.

stevepearce

Well she's just got back from work which was a long drive and is too tired to go. So that's sorted that ! Better plan next time maybe.

Soberwolf

You are on point Steve here's some links to think about a building a plan

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

stevepearce

Thanks soberwolf I'll have a read later today.

Venecia

Sounds like you're putting hard work and thought into your sobriety, Steve. That's how to do it -- keep up the great work!

stevepearce

Day 37.
Things have been really tough last few days. No real reason, just feeling weak, everything tricky. I can feel my AV chatting away. The release of a few drinks seems very tempting. I have to go to a charity event on Friday and people will be drinking. I know what to do, but I am still scared I will drink. There isn't enough in my life without alcohol. I need a plan, something more. But where to start ? I know I need to keep busy but I find myself thinking too much. Not good.....

OpenTuning

I think even with the firmest plans there will be times when the urges come back. You drank for 25 years. That's a long time to create a habit, and it's going to take more than 37 days to break it completely. But I'm sure you can do it.

It sounds like what you haven't done yet is found what to replace the time you used to spend drinking with. Shouldn't be too hard to find something more productive. Now's the time to start thinking about all those things you perhaps once wished you could do but felt you didn't have time for. In my case, I've been putting serious time into playing the guitar, which is something I wished I'd learned as a teenager, but took up in my forties instead. Even found myself in a band and have a gig coming up. Which proves it's never too late to start something new.

I can't really suggest what might be the right thing for you. Finding a beat up old classic car and putting it right? A sport you used to enjoy playing? Reading all the books by your favourite author? Building and painting model kits? Joining an historical reenactment society? Learning a new language? Joining a choir or amateur dramatics society? The possibilities really are endless.