I just dont know what to do
 

So I managed 19 days last time around. For me that was amazing. I'm not sure what happened exactly but I know I thought one night would be ok.
I've been slowly building up to more and more nights a week again. I'm so so ashamed and disappointed in myself, but I know I can't beat myself up over it anymore and it's time to get back into that beer free life.
I don't know if I can do it but I need to. My teenage son has started going to his room when I bring beer home and that's not a good thing.
It also makes me realise how much "one" night can ruin all the hard work I did before.
I am at the lowest weight I've been in years and need to start focusing on weight loss and my kids again :)
Anyways thanks for being here. I'm going to try my best again:)

This could be me. I can do good, then the AV tells me oh well one night will be okay.

I hope you find the courage to say no... one night leads to many... You know how good it feels to be sober so you can always start again. Well this is what I am telling myself today.

My AV used to tell me the same lie.

You can't live without the thing that is wrecking your life.
What a load of tripe.

Of course you can do it.
Make a plan.
Work the plan.

Change is possible. Hope is reasonable.
You can do this. :ring

:c014:

Stop now and don't believe the AV lie. You can do this - you want to do this - stop today

Thanks Guys,
I'm making a daily schedule, more to occupy myself than anything. Maybe my house will get cleaned, rather than a quick tidy because I'm too tired or hungover.
I just cleaned down my kitchen table for eating at again and colouring in the evenings, and am now colouring on my bed, because it's comfy while I try to pull myself together tonight.

:)

Happened to me also on my 90 day streak, I thought since I been almost 3 months sober I could control my drinking.

Let,s just say I don't entertain that though anymore.

Best of luck

yeah... the old "I can manage to just have one or two" is an insidious belief.

Took me years to finally stop falling for it.

If there's one constant with all of us it's that we've all felt after some sobriety that maybe we could moderate or have that occasional drink.
I've never seen that work out well.

I've been thinking that already this week - one or two - I told my friend and he said "I don't think you need to cut drinking, but rather be more responsible with it."
My thought...My being responsible, is avoiding the damn thing.
As much as I know I want it in my life, I have to keep it out as much as possible for the better of all. It's already taken too much.
Glad you're here *hugs*

That's it. I've always told myself just one night drinking I can stop again tomorrow. But it spirals out of control so fast. I just hope I can stay strong to them at this time :)

Print this thread out & put it in your wallet a timely reminder anytime you feel the urge

the idea that it would be different this time had hold of me a long time. in spite of my own experience to the contrary.

knowing deep down that it will always end up the same was the turnaround point for me. acknowledging it, accepting it.

it was a hopeless place, yet my ongoing sobriety has started and mushroomed from there.

you have a very valuable posession in your past experiences with the results of just one night and how well that doesnt work to remind yourself.

Yep, one more night won't hurt...I'll stop tomorrow.

Well tomorrow is probably going to be a bad day because such and such - I'll stop the next day.

I've done it before...how hard can it be?

Been there, done that...alllll of that - never got much of anywhere with it but deeper down the hole.

Don't beleive anyone that says you can't do this, and that includes your own mind!!

You CAN do this!! :)

Welcome back, HappinessIsHere.

Our AVs are liars; not one truthful word comes out of their mouths. they are clever little demons, though; they will try to make you believe anything.

Have fun coloring; sounds like great therapy and a good way to stay busy and keep your mind occupied.

You can do this, Happiness!

I'm glad you wanted to talk this over, Happiness. That's what I love about our community - you never have to feel alone, no matter what's going on.

I tried to use willpower to control what I drank for years. I was determined to not give it up entirely. I don't know why, because in the end it was nothing but stress and misery. Going through the ups & downs for decades took it's toll. I found myself drinking all day in the end. This is the time to take action - and I'm so glad you're taking a hard look at what alcohol is doing to your life. Keeping yourself distracted is smart. :) You're going to do it.

Thank You Everyone. I've had a really rough day but am getting there. Going to sleep and wait for tomorrow to come. Reading all of your kind words helps a lot :)