secretchord

So here's the thing....I've been doing A LOT of googling.....



and I don't think I am an alcoholic. But then I think I am. Five minutes later I'm not. I feel stuck in my head.

I just want a drink. Maybe I can control this. Maybe I could try to have ONE per week. If I can't do ONE a week, then I'll know for sure. Right?

Anna

Alcoholic is just a word, a label. I wouldn't worry about it.

Is alcohol negatively affecting your life in any way? If so, why not stop drinking?

ccam1973

I agree with Anna. Alcoholic is simply a label. Don't concern yourself with the label. In my opinion if you are coming here with questions, then you probably already know the answers that you are looking for. If you have to debate weather you drink too much, or if drinking is affecting your life in a negative way, then there is probably just cause to quit drinking. If drinking doesn't create any problems in your life, then you probably wouldn't be here asking these questions.

Bottom line, I would give it a try to not drink for a while. See how you do. Just be honest with yourself in this journey.

ScottFromWI

I tried having one drink a night.
I tried only drinking after 5pm.
I tried drinking low alcohol beer.
I tried mixing NA beer with regular beer
I tried drinking only on weekends.
I tried drinking only with meals

I pretty much tried everything to "control" my drinking, but inevitably every single experiment failed and I was back to daily binge drinking in short order.

As Anna says, don't worry about labels. Be honest and ask yourself if drinking is a problem for you. If so, try stopping for a while and see what happens. If you cannot stop or cannot control it then you have your answer.

Ruby2

I never wanted to admit that I couldn't stop at one drink. I never wanted to think that I shouldn't be drinking. I always wanted to blame all the stuff that was wrong in my life on other people and situations. It was never the over consumption of alcohol that was causing problems. It was "them."

If you really can have one drink a week and stop, that's great. I suspect that may not be the case. People who can moderate their drinking don't even think about it. They don't spend time googling to find reasons why they aren't alcoholics.

If you're researching whether you're an alcoholic, sounds like alcohol is causing some trouble in your life. If it is causing trouble, why not give it a rest for a while?

secretchord

I'm controlling it right now by not drinking for 8 days. So doesn't that prove that I do have control?

secretchord

For awhile not forever, right?

2muchpain

If you feel that you might not be an alcoholic, then totally quitting should be no problem. But if you are trying to come up with a plan on just drinking one a week, etc., then you might want to take that as a sign that you do have a problem, since non-alcoholics will go long periods of time and not even think about a drink. Just my opinion. John

secretchord

I'm obsessing again....

dwtbd

Why are currently on a break?
I took a lot of breaks over my years of drinking. But after all of them I would always get back to drinking just like "pre"break. And then I stopped taking breaks.
Took a long time to figure out that taking breaks wasn't working and quitting was the only way to handle my relationship with alcohol.
What's one less drink a week, anyway?

Dharma33

One thing I always keep in mind Is something I heard here in the forums..."don't mistake abstinence for control".

Not drinking at all is one thing. Once you have a drink, you will start to obsess about the next. That is where the problem lies in my experience.

My husband can have one glass of wine and drinking won't cross his mind for months. If I have one sip, my mind is absolutely consumed by thoughts of the next one.....whether it's having it, not having it- the issue for my addiction lies in the obsession of it.

So, I solve the problem by committing to never drinking again.

Coldfusion

How about just for today?

Anna

No one here can convince you that you're an alcoholic and that's not why we're here. It's up to you to make the decision that you want to stop drinking forever, or not.

If you believe you can control your drinking, then you should be fine.

Reset

If I were struggling with the notion of control (or lack of it) I might begin to think it's really a problem.

But that's for you to decide.

In my case I went round and round looking for ways to moderate consumption, keep things in check, control the drinking and whatnot.

Every time, I was eventually back to problem drinking.

Reset

I've "quit" a handful of times, unfortunately. The most successful stint I had lasted 2 years and what I did was set a moderate goal (around 3 months prior to going on vacation) as an experiment and told myself that from there I'd decide what to do. The idea that I didn't have to quit forever was helpful at that time and after the goal was reached I honestly didn't want to start drinking again.

And I'm not an AA'er but they do say "one day at a time" and I find/found that sort of thinking to be helpful. After all, the finality of it all can be a bit scary.

On the other hand, for some it's easier to have a clean breakup. Like if you were ditching a boyfriend/girlfriend that you never wanted to see again. No contact, delete their number, nada, never again. If you do that it's probably tougher at first but then becomes a lot easier after a while (I'm guessing here, since I'm trying that mode of thinking right now).

You could try the first approach and see if you come around to the idea of not drinking for good. After all it's just for a while right? What have you got to lose? Once you get on the other side and have been sober a while you might (probably will) realize that there's nothing to fear, life is just better without it.

Good luck.

Nuke

I find myself in the same boat as you...I have done countless hours of research trying to diagnose myself as an alcoholic or just an idiot who cannot control how much I consume. Like everyone else here, I have stopped, moderated, calculated, begged, pleaded, and survived the misery of alcohol consuming my life.

While I do not "fit" the low-bottom alcoholic in the traditional sense, I have finally come to the realization that I am just a highly functioning (or high-bottom) drunk/alcoholic. I have a successful career, a wonderful family, and am far from the bottom that many people have the unfortunate luck to actually find.

For me, not drinking is not that bad, I just have to get out of the habit and routine of my drinking days. I have been lucky to not go through the nightmare of withdrawls that so many on here have.

My problem however, lies within the fact that I KNOW that I cannot stop at just one or two. As soon as I start drinking, game on, I will consume anything that is put in front of me, and after the others are done drinking I will go out for more. This point was proven on my last binge. I was out on a business dinner with clients, and no sooner had they headed back to their hotel I was out at the bar because I had not had enough, and even after they kicked me out for being stupidly drunk I still wanted more, so I went to another bar (which I subsequently was kicked out of as well). Then I had to endure the next day misery of working while hungover as hell and doing all the things that alcoholics do to cover up their escapades from the prior evening.

So, do I fall into the typical "alcoholic" sterotype? I don't know, what do you think? Do I feel that in order to maintain the lifestyle and family that I have worked to earn that I need to stop drinking? Yes, I do, all of those things were slowly slipping away due to my drinking. Has my life improved since I stopped drinking, yes it has, and I hope that it continues to do so.

Just my two cents...

Resetti

I kind of got crazy about labels for a time. Then I just realised all that matters if alcohol was destroying my life and I need to change that. If people want to call that being an alcoholic, that's fine, it's just a word. I am by my own definition, people have their own. But honestly people can call it whatever they like, it won't stop the stuff from rotting my liver.

PurpleKnight

Whatever the label, the list of reasons in your first thread will still apply in Sobriety regardless of what name you call it:

Dee74

It sounds like you're not quite at the point of admitting that drinking and you have a toxic relationship.

That's ok - I wasn't sure either when I got here and I'd done extensive testing...

just drinking one, alternating with water, drinking only with friends, drinking only alone, drinking only after 5, drinking only after meals, making one drink last an hour, switching my drinks to something I didn't like to drink less...

I did all those things - and much more - simply to avoid accepting the truth of my relationship with alcohol...I had no control.

Sooner or later I was always back to square one.

You can do what I did and test it over and over and over and OVER again just to try and avoid quitting drinking...but - I'm sorry - if you're a drinker like me, you'll never get a different answer.

Acceptance actually requires a lot less energy - and it brings a great relief and peace with it

D

sugarbear1

I once had given up drinking and lasted over 3 years.....then I drank again. It took me over 15 years to attempt to stop again and to stay stopped......

Staying stopped is what I do now, one day after the next. I still don't think in terms of "forever"