Am Falling Again
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Half deal.done...
I eat and waited after.diner...
He said hrouhgh pills away.
So lets see tomorrow...
I know is going to be hard but will not touch a thing.
And he will not smoke or get drunk either...
1 more day hiking and we arrive Santiago...
God such a weird tryp......can not describ it...
And the chinesse got drunk with onnneee shotttt
Had to drag her two bed between two........
So tomorrow talk NO MORE SHANGGGGG!!¡
Am dreading to morrow.
But have to do it.... or else
I eat and waited after.diner...
He said hrouhgh pills away.
So lets see tomorrow...
I know is going to be hard but will not touch a thing.
And he will not smoke or get drunk either...
1 more day hiking and we arrive Santiago...
God such a weird tryp......can not describ it...
And the chinesse got drunk with onnneee shotttt
Had to drag her two bed between two........
So tomorrow talk NO MORE SHANGGGGG!!¡
Am dreading to morrow.
But have to do it.... or else
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
Got up asking for smoke but they sais we smoked it all....
Lieeee
And at luch was pulling and pulling all nervousss
But have calm down know...
He is in the shower and found in his poket...
But I am not... and he is nottttttt
So did put it back in pocket..
Am in Santiagoooooooo 9 days over 200km
So happy.. And got new friendsssss
But tonight we go to celebrate....
So have to handle it!!!
I will be ok he is calming me down...
Sorry if I upset you all by heart is not my intentions...
LV u ALL
Lieeee
And at luch was pulling and pulling all nervousss
But have calm down know...
He is in the shower and found in his poket...
But I am not... and he is nottttttt
So did put it back in pocket..
Am in Santiagoooooooo 9 days over 200km
So happy.. And got new friendsssss
But tonight we go to celebrate....
So have to handle it!!!
I will be ok he is calming me down...
Sorry if I upset you all by heart is not my intentions...
LV u ALL
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI 
What exactly do you seek from us Aiko? It seems that you use SR mostly as a log of your drinking and drugging excesses. Is quitting even something that you have considered at any point?
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
11 days
To whom it might concern!
The rest do not waste your time reading a druggy blog like you said.
Do me a favour do not read it!!!
I am 11 days completely clean.
I been struggling with anxiety, am a nervous wreck
but I manage to stay clean 11 days.
I joined finally a gym, and forced myself to go the paint workshop last week, unfortunately I was not able to lift a brush... was passing up and down. But I turned up!
Am seeing this boy because I need to get the stress out somehow and he is good.....
But I said to him no smoking in front of me.
I just need to be hug.
My doc is getting desperate with me... and am worried they might kick me out. The argument I do not take the meds properly and I went on holiday with pot smokers... and want me to leave my job as is going to destroy me the stress.
I try to take my meds but sometimes I forget.
Am on a new treatment and Is starting to calm me down.
But I said I do not want Benzo, I through another box in the sea...
They can not give me a box and say just take one at night!!!
Are we mad???
and they want me to take a work leave to stay at home for at least one week, but I can not...
So just to let you know I am coming out!
And am trying!
I thank you for giving me support in the bad times!
Big Hug,
Aiko
The rest do not waste your time reading a druggy blog like you said.
Do me a favour do not read it!!!
I am 11 days completely clean.
I been struggling with anxiety, am a nervous wreck
but I manage to stay clean 11 days.
I joined finally a gym, and forced myself to go the paint workshop last week, unfortunately I was not able to lift a brush... was passing up and down. But I turned up!
Am seeing this boy because I need to get the stress out somehow and he is good.....
But I said to him no smoking in front of me.
I just need to be hug.
My doc is getting desperate with me... and am worried they might kick me out. The argument I do not take the meds properly and I went on holiday with pot smokers... and want me to leave my job as is going to destroy me the stress.
I try to take my meds but sometimes I forget.
Am on a new treatment and Is starting to calm me down.
But I said I do not want Benzo, I through another box in the sea...
They can not give me a box and say just take one at night!!!
Are we mad???
and they want me to take a work leave to stay at home for at least one week, but I can not...
So just to let you know I am coming out!
And am trying!
I thank you for giving me support in the bad times!
Big Hug,
Aiko
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
That's great to hear that you are 11 days clean Aiko, congratulations. Also very glad to hear that you are working with your doctors on this. If you are having problems remembering to take your meds, set some reminders...get a pill reminder box or set some alarms on your phone/computer.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,874
Aiko,my friend, I am so very glad to see you and am very happy to see that you have 11 clean days.
Great to see that the new treatment is beginning to help. Please follow your doctor's orders to the 't', stay away from drugs, and you will be on your way!!!!
Your post has made my day!!!!!!!!!
Sending love.
Great to see that the new treatment is beginning to help. Please follow your doctor's orders to the 't', stay away from drugs, and you will be on your way!!!!
Your post has made my day!!!!!!!!!
Sending love.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Aiko
I am 11 days completely clean.
I been struggling with anxiety, am a nervous wreck
but I manage to stay clean 11 days.
and some of us know how hard it can be to get 11 clean days.
Please don't give them up.
M-Bob
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: OZ
Posts: 2,055
That is great, I was thinking about you last night and hoping you were doing okay...
....So happy for you, 11 days is so good...life is so much easier sober/ straight...let the healing begin
Like Scott said a pill reminder box for your meds..and you can also set automatic reminders up on your phone...
Take care.
....So happy for you, 11 days is so good...life is so much easier sober/ straight...let the healing begin
Like Scott said a pill reminder box for your meds..and you can also set automatic reminders up on your phone...
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Aiko:
A whole bunch of us are rooting for you. The road won't be easy at first but it you persist, if you are true to yourself, if you don't allow your AV to get you into stress and thus are less liable to relapse, you're going to be happier than you've ever been. Please keep posting. Tell us how you are and what we can do to help.
W.
A whole bunch of us are rooting for you. The road won't be easy at first but it you persist, if you are true to yourself, if you don't allow your AV to get you into stress and thus are less liable to relapse, you're going to be happier than you've ever been. Please keep posting. Tell us how you are and what we can do to help.
W.
AlmA
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
New Year :)
Just to say that my head finaly did a cklik!!
On kings day is the morning day of presents in Spain,
And my little nephew was pressing the bell away to collect his present and I was half gone as usual with the meds in bed...
And realized I am an addict...
Is a big step to me to get it into mi thick head!!!
I accepted quicker that I was alcoholic
As my dad lost his head already!!!
But I had no respect to drugs...
I had no fear to take all I found!!!
On the 24 & 31 nights are very important nights to go out all drinking and drugging....
But I knew if I would go out with my friends... WOW
I would fall so I came back home each night and took pills as sweets to compensate...
But at the end of the day is the same... get unconciense!
I whent to the hair dresser gone last week knowing the pills to combine!!!
I repeatedly told my doc I can not have benzo on me!!!!!
To the family dinners I pretended I had a cold because I could not drive....
But I whent to another 3 christmas parties and did not touch a drink.... constantly lifted an alcoholfree drink or pretended I had a sip... but did not cross my lips... even the taste of it can set me off....
So I am understanding it!
Thank you for lissening to my *#¢$%°°%#[*]<
As I cannot swear...
Lots of Love from across the ocean XO
Aiko
On kings day is the morning day of presents in Spain,
And my little nephew was pressing the bell away to collect his present and I was half gone as usual with the meds in bed...
And realized I am an addict...
Is a big step to me to get it into mi thick head!!!
I accepted quicker that I was alcoholic
As my dad lost his head already!!!
But I had no respect to drugs...
I had no fear to take all I found!!!
On the 24 & 31 nights are very important nights to go out all drinking and drugging....
But I knew if I would go out with my friends... WOW
I would fall so I came back home each night and took pills as sweets to compensate...
But at the end of the day is the same... get unconciense!
I whent to the hair dresser gone last week knowing the pills to combine!!!
I repeatedly told my doc I can not have benzo on me!!!!!
To the family dinners I pretended I had a cold because I could not drive....
But I whent to another 3 christmas parties and did not touch a drink.... constantly lifted an alcoholfree drink or pretended I had a sip... but did not cross my lips... even the taste of it can set me off....
So I am understanding it!
Thank you for lissening to my *#¢$%°°%#[*]<
As I cannot swear...
Lots of Love from across the ocean XO
Aiko
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