day 3 ..... am I really an alcoholic???
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
"Unmanageability" can take many forms. It doesn't mean all you are doing is drinking. I had a very responsible job, a house, car, no credit problems, good income, never arrested, etc. HOWEVER, inside things were falling apart. I panicked if there was the prospect of being somewhere I couldn't drink. I was isolating because evenings and weekends were for drinking. I was starting to experience withdrawal symptoms (sweats, mainly, and difficulty breathing) during the day at work. I sometimes drove under the influence (and for me, in my job, that could have been disastrous, meaning loss of career/pension, etc.). Even though on the outside I was "managing" I knew that one bad move, one unlucky day, and it could all blow up in my face. People were starting to smell alcohol on me when I shouldn't, and I was starting to screw things up more and more. I had small injuries as a result of things like cooking or doing home repairs when I wasn't sober.
So no, I wasn't drinking from a paper bag under a bridge, to all external appearances (or most, at least), I was still "managing"--but it was a very delicate house of cards and it could have all come down at any moment. For me, one of the most terrific things about getting sober was getting rid of that nagging feeling of imminent disaster.
So no, I wasn't drinking from a paper bag under a bridge, to all external appearances (or most, at least), I was still "managing"--but it was a very delicate house of cards and it could have all come down at any moment. For me, one of the most terrific things about getting sober was getting rid of that nagging feeling of imminent disaster.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
I sounded just like you. In fact, when I quit drinking I had limited my drinking to weekends only and was pretty successful at doing that. Honestly, I mostly quit drinking so as to not turn into my mother, who now, after several years/maybe even decades of appearing as a "normal" drinker such as you described yourself, is your stereotypical, drink in the mornings, show up at family events plastered, unpredictable alcoholic.
I have been sober for over two years and thankfully, drinking alcohol has lost almost all of its appeal to me. I am so much healthier, body and mind and spirit wise than I have ever been in my adult life. Why not forget about labels for a while and challenge yourself to take a year off of booze just to make a fair comparison? Someone here challenged me to do that and that made logical sense to me. Give yourself this gift. You won't regret it.
I have been sober for over two years and thankfully, drinking alcohol has lost almost all of its appeal to me. I am so much healthier, body and mind and spirit wise than I have ever been in my adult life. Why not forget about labels for a while and challenge yourself to take a year off of booze just to make a fair comparison? Someone here challenged me to do that and that made logical sense to me. Give yourself this gift. You won't regret it.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by adelina123 
We all have our stereotypical alcoholics, many of you reading this may believe you are. I just know that growing up whenever my parents or the media informed me " that's an alcoholic" they didn't look like me .... between the hours of 6 am - 6 PM at least!!
Because I function, because I feed my kids, dress them nicely, get them to school on time, dress ok myself and get to work and do a good job...... All of these things tell me I'm not an alcoholic.
Because I function, because I feed my kids, dress them nicely, get them to school on time, dress ok myself and get to work and do a good job...... All of these things tell me I'm not an alcoholic.
Look at your situation from another direction: Why do you think drinking alcohol is SO IMPORTANT to you? It's a problem. It might be alcoholism. You worry about it. Stress over it. Yet, you can't stop thinking about it. You can't let it go and just be content to be a non-drinker. Why is that, do you suppose? What gives it this elevated position of importance in your mind?
Best of Luck on Your Journey.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by adelina123
The next morning I'll walk my son to school like every other parent .... see I can't be an alcoholic if o look just like everyone else at the school gates!!!
Are they "alcoholic"?
Does it matter?
What matters to me is this; How am I spending my life? What is alcohol doing to my life? What is it bringing me? What is it impeding?
I could keep on going.... there are lots of things on the list of the stereotypical alcoholic traits that I've not yet had happen.... so maybe I'm NOT!!! Maybe I oughta keep on trying to prove to myself that I'm NOT!!!
But I decided not to. Because what my life is without alcohol is a lot better than what it was with alcohol.
So - alcoholic or not, it doesn't matter.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 320
It bothers me too. It forces me to focus on the negative aspects of my life when not drinking is such a healthy, positive - and normal - thing. I try and focus on how positive an affect this will have on my life in the long run. Great post.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
Originally Posted by LexieCat
"Unmanageability" can take many forms. It doesn't mean all you are doing is drinking. I had a very responsible job, a house, car, no credit problems, good income, never arrested, etc. HOWEVER, inside things were falling apart. I panicked if there was the prospect of being somewhere I couldn't drink. I was isolating because evenings and weekends were for drinking. I was starting to experience withdrawal symptoms (sweats, mainly, and difficulty breathing) during the day at work. I sometimes drove under the influence (and for me, in my job, that could have been disastrous, meaning loss of career/pension, etc.). Even though on the outside I was "managing" I knew that one bad move, one unlucky day, and it could all blow up in my face. People were starting to smell alcohol on me when I shouldn't, and I was starting to screw things up more and more. I had small injuries as a result of things like cooking or doing home repairs when I wasn't sober.
So no, I wasn't drinking from a paper bag under a bridge, to all external appearances (or most, at least), I was still "managing"--but it was a very delicate house of cards and it could have all come down at any moment. For me, one of the most terrific things about getting sober was getting rid of that nagging feeling of imminent disaster.
So no, I wasn't drinking from a paper bag under a bridge, to all external appearances (or most, at least), I was still "managing"--but it was a very delicate house of cards and it could have all come down at any moment. For me, one of the most terrific things about getting sober was getting rid of that nagging feeling of imminent disaster.
I drove drunk too, I left my 4 year old sleeping at home to go out to buy more wine. I could of lost my job too. So I get your sense of waiting for disaster. I've been feeling like I'm on borrowed time but yet I still take the risks!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
Originally Posted by adelina123
I drove drunk too, I left my 4 year old sleeping at home to go out to buy more wine.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
I sounded just like you. In fact, when I quit drinking I had limited my drinking to weekends only and was pretty successful at doing that. Honestly, I mostly quit drinking so as to not turn into my mother, who now, after several years/maybe even decades of appearing as a "normal" drinker such as you described yourself, is your stereotypical, drink in the mornings, show up at family events plastered, unpredictable alcoholic.
I have been sober for over two years and thankfully, drinking alcohol has lost almost all of its appeal to me. I am so much healthier, body and mind and spirit wise than I have ever been in my adult life. Why not forget about labels for a while and challenge yourself to take a year off of booze just to make a fair comparison? Someone here challenged me to do that and that made logical sense to me. Give yourself this gift. You won't regret it.
I have been sober for over two years and thankfully, drinking alcohol has lost almost all of its appeal to me. I am so much healthier, body and mind and spirit wise than I have ever been in my adult life. Why not forget about labels for a while and challenge yourself to take a year off of booze just to make a fair comparison? Someone here challenged me to do that and that made logical sense to me. Give yourself this gift. You won't regret it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 180
Originally Posted by OpenTuning
If you're still asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol, I think what you just wrote should help you find the answer. I feel pretty confident that people in control of their drinking wouldn't do what you did given the potential consequences if you'd had an accident or got pulled over. As warning signs go, that looks a big one to me.
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