New to this and need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 10
New to this and need advice
I am new to this. I am seeking advice for how to deal with my boyfriend who has serious alcohol issues and may be an alcoholic. This has been going on for a year and it's getting worse. He keeps running away from me when I bring it up. I'm at my wits end and think I need to contact his family. To help since he won't let me. My mother is an alcoholic and this is very sensitive to me and is pretty much a deal breaker. I'm scared to walk away and leave him because I know he won't get help. Any advice would be much appreciated. Not sure if this is the right forum? I will go into detail and share my story once I know the right place to post. Thanks in advance.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Welcome Lucy!
There is a section of the forum where you will find lots of experience, strength, and hope for how to live with an alcoholic:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please read some of the "sticky" threads at the top of the forum. You have come to the right place--welcome!
There is a section of the forum where you will find lots of experience, strength, and hope for how to live with an alcoholic:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Please read some of the "sticky" threads at the top of the forum. You have come to the right place--welcome!
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
Welcome lucy. This is a great site to learn more about your predicament. One thing you'll learn is it's up to the one drinking to want to make a change. No amount of concern, nagging, etc. is going to make a difference. The alcoholic needs to recognize they have a problem that is affecting their life and the benefits of drinking no longer out weigh the costs. Your concern and that it may end the relationship is a cost. Look closely at what you want out of the relationship and it may be that if your bf is not willing to make changes you'll have to end the relationship. As hard as it sounds you have to take care of yourself and your bf needs to take care of himself. You can't take care of him for him.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,869
Hello:
I'm sorry about the situation that brought you here.
You can call his family, a swat team and the president and he will not change if he doesn't want to.
Sometimes by wanting to "help" we enable others.
I wish you the best and I hope that things work out. I will only say that you don't owe anything to anybody, just yourself. Is this the kind of person you want to be with?
I'm sorry about the situation that brought you here.
You can call his family, a swat team and the president and he will not change if he doesn't want to.
Sometimes by wanting to "help" we enable others.
I wish you the best and I hope that things work out. I will only say that you don't owe anything to anybody, just yourself. Is this the kind of person you want to be with?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm sorry for what brings you here. I can only add my support. I understand that you're scared to leave him because he won't get help but equally true he won't get help with you there either. Trust me.
Your boyfriend has to want it himself. Definitely check out the family and friends section here for more suggestions and support. You have to take care of yourself first. Be well
Your boyfriend has to want it himself. Definitely check out the family and friends section here for more suggestions and support. You have to take care of yourself first. Be well
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