NightmaresOnWax

Here we go again....
I spent the past week reflecting on the reasons why I failed last time.
I think the main reason is that I failed to make the life changes needed to facilitate sober lifestyle. Sure I quit drinking, I got that part down as far as controlling the urges goes...but I didn't make any other changes, didn't have any kind of plan and I think that is ultimately why I failed.

So here's the plan:
I decided to quit on a day when my girlfriend is out of town. Being home alone I think was a huge trigger for me, so what better way to kick it off than to face my biggest challenge head on?
I think most people wouldn't know it about me, but once upon a time before I drank daily, I was a very active person. I've become inactive as a result of my years of drinking, it happened so gradually I didn't notice. Overweight, lazy, sloth. A sad, depressing image of my former self. If someone were to show me a video of my future self 10 years ago, I wouldn't believe it was me.
So, phase one of my plan is to change that. Rather than do it in a non-specific way, I've decided to set weekly goals for myself. It will morph into more long term changes later, but I am starting small for now.

So for this week I will simply be tackling things I have been putting off. I decided I need to have a plan to keep me busy after work every single day, otherwise I just sit there thinking about how bored I am and how I could use a drink.
Today's plan is simple. I need to do some maintenance on my car I've been putting off, then I need to clean it. It's a wreck.
After that I will organize my "man cave" because it is a wreck as well. I will start by throwing out all the empty beer bottles and other garbage that has piled up each night as I drank myself to the point of passing out.

I mentioned that "boredom" was probably the hardest thing to deal with last time. I think the best way to deal with that is to plan ahead of time so I am never just sitting there idle with nothing to do. Hopefully I am on the right track this time...

Anna

I think it's great that you recognize there is more to this than just stopping drinking. And, making specific plans as you are is a great idea too. I think that making any positive lifestyle change will have a ripple effect in your life.

Soberwolf

Hi N.O.W

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ful-links.html

NightmaresOnWax

I agree and I have been talking about depression, but if I step outside myself and look at my life for a moment, it IS depressing and it's ALL my fault.
If I look at myself as if I were someone else, I see a person who gets it together for long enough to get through their 8 hour work day, then does the bare minimum required to live a "normal" life so that the rest of their life can revolve around drinking.
Barely keeping up with grooming myself, leaving trash all over the house without bothering to pick it up until it gets embarrassing, ect.
The point is I haven't really done anything with my life recently to be happy about, so it's no wonder I am depressed.
Even when I do something active, I either drink to the point I can't remember it, or I don't enjoy it because the entire time is spent thinking about when I will drink again.

When I quit last time I kept with my drunken, depressing lifestyle. The thing missing was the alcohol.
So, this time around I am looking at completely changing how I go about my daily routine. The hardest times were where I was just sitting there idle, so to start with I am just going to keep myself as busy as possible. When I focus on staying busy I will accomplish things, which will give me something to be proud of and keep me motivated...that positive ripple effect you were talking about, Anna

ScottFromWI

Welcome back. Planning ahead is definitely important - in more than one way. Having an actual sobriety plan is key of course ( instead of just "not drinking" but also planning your daily activities. Even when I was still drinking I was somehow able to keep my work schedule very regimented, so when I quit I tried to apply that concept to my life. Especially in the early weeks, It was very helpful to actuallly write down ( or type in your phone, etc ) a detailed calendar for each day. Idle time leads to temptation sometimes, so if you can plan to minimize it that's always a plus.

Dee74

Welcome back NOW.

There are some very useful links in Soberwolfs link there - I hope you check them out. The more forethought your plan has the better the likelihood it'll stand the test of time

D

NightmaresOnWax

Hey Dee welcome back, I didn't know you liked to ride on two wheels too!

I have been reading some of soberwolf's links. I especially like the holiday advice, which also had some good general tips in it.
I've also noticed the more I read on here, even if it's just others who are trying to quit, the easier it all seems.
Yesterday went really well and I got a lot done to boot!

Today's agenda is getting a lot of work done on my boat that I have been putting off. For almost a month I kept going out there to "work" on it and just ended up drinking and not doing anything. All that is about to change.