Struggling with how to help
 

My husband of 9 years has a drug problem. It has been a year since his first admitting his problem to me out of desperation. He comes clean every time he runs out of money. I've finally had enough and told him to go. I feel terrible, sad he says I've done nothing to help, that I'm turning my back on him. I just want to start being happy again, start healing. I feel guilty for wanting him out, I'm not sure I even love him anymore, I know I can't trust him. We have two boys that I want to protect. I feel so lost and alone.

Hello and welcome to SR had enough ,
Sounds like a horrible situation and like your doing the best you can , protecting yourself and your children is the right thing to do .
When one is in the throws of addiction firm boundaries set by our nearest and dearest can be useful in the long run .

You're not alone in this as lots of people go through it , when you have a moment check out the friends and family bit here and you'll see :- Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Bestwishes, m

Hadenough3..Putting you and your boys first is exactly what you need to do...

Please pay no attention to statements like "You've done nothing to help".. It is a denial , manipulation on his part...
When and if he gets well he will understand that.

Take care of yourself.

Hello & Welcome HadEnough

HadEnough, you did the right thing. Don't blame yourself. Your boyfriend is the one who has the problem and only he is responsible for doing something about it or not. You are responsible for your needs, not his.

Welcome to the Forum Hadenough!! :wave:

My boys
 

Thank you all for responding, I have so many questions and don't know how to deal with it all!
My main concern is my boys, 9 and 8 years old. They think that Daddy and I fight over money, the lack of and the fact that their Dad can't get a job. Of course the fights always start over the money, the lies about him spending the money, him losing this job or that.......

I don't want my boys to think I would send their Father away because of money. I don't know what to tell them? I don't want them to grow up thinking that their father's behavior is how a man is suppose to act! Are they old enough to understand "a drug problem". Is it my place to tell them or is that his story to tell? If it were to protect them I would tell them it is all my fault, anything to make this easier on them.

I just do not know what to do anymore! He was out of the house for over a week and showed up yesterday, begging for a few nights with them. He says he is clean and does not need help! He can do this all himself. I had just got to the point I could drive without crying, now I can't even be alone for a few minutes with out tearing up. I feel so alone.
HELP!!

Hey hadenough, have you posted these questions in the friends and families forum? They are and have gone through the same things you are and would be better able to answer them.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

HadEnough, I'm sorry that you are going through this.

It's common that children already have a pretty good idea what's going on in a situation like that. Children know and understand more than we give them credit for. I hope you find some peace in your life.

:hug: hadEnough lean on us whenever you need