thomas11

This past week was the last week of work for the business, the phone number has been disconnected and the focus has shifted to the final phase of liquidation. I felt all the emotional triggers that would cause one to drink. A sense of failure, little depression, relief, joy, melancholy etc...I mean, I gave it everything I had for a long time. We are also taking care of someone else's big dogs as they are out of town fora funeral. Its a little added stress. I'm an admitted sports junkie and the world series is on, college and pro football (normal drinking events) and of course Halloween last night (another excuse to drink). I gave what would probably be considered too much thought to doing some serious drinking. All the ingredients for the recipe were there. And there would not have been any real consequences other than a hangover. I guess what worked for me is that I kept my mind busy. Mostly reading, watching online stuff on certain subjects, I made an effort to having some nice conversations with my wife each night that had substance to them. I'm not one to congratulate myself or pat myself on the back (at least I don't think I am). In fact, I am uncomfortable blowing my own horn. But I felt kind of proud that I didn't give in when it would have been so easy and felt somewhat deserved. SR is really my only support system, and it is all of you people that helped me get through this past week.

SoberLeigh

You utilized the 'tools in your sobriety toolbox' and it worked.

You can be proud of yourself, Jeff; I am proud of you, too.

Venecia

Well done, Jeff!

PennyLane76

You are doing great Jeff! Especially during a difficult week !

Soberwolf

Good job Jeff

Carver

Good work Jeff!

Saskia

That's good, Jeff!

It would be nice if this became smooth sailing all the time after the early days but it can take a long time to deal with the worst of the aftermath. In 5 days I'll reach 15 months and I can say that it is getting much easier. The AV still whispers on occasion but I'm having a much easier time resisting that siren voice.

biminiblue

I think you are doing so well! All the stuff with your business is stressful, well done. Soon you'll have some nice consulting job and will be able to relax a bit. I'm so happy you didn't drink. You should be proud of yourself!

Gonnachange

Well done!

thomas11

Thanks biminiblue, I have 2 meetings this week for potential consulting work, we'll see what happens. I'll prepare for the worst, hope for the best type thing. I'm also contemplating just taking a mental time out for 2-3 weeks. I mean, seriously doing nothing. I guess its called an "at home" vacation.

thomas11

As demonstrated by the responses, the support here is excellent and I recommend any newcomers to utilize the strength of the people here to assist you. I would like to hear from anyone on the thought that is going through my mind lately. That thought is that if I get through the the Holidays and the long hard and dark winter we have here in Minnesota without going off the rails, I should be in pretty good shape. Basically for us people in the Midwest, drinking during the winter months kills time. Weekends are often spent at a bar or in a fish house getting obliterated. And then when spring and summer arrive, everyone is so damn happy to see the sun, green grass, summer festivals and parties, that the drinking just continues as the opportunities are plentiful. Since my injuries I've been a bit of a hermit. For awhile it was because I had no choice, but lately its been because I don't want to be around drinking. Like many people, I'm going through a life transition, and I'm not special. People are doing it every day. But I'm fairly certain I'll handle it much better sober.

SoberLeigh

I see you getting stronger all the time, Jeff; there's no reason to believe that you won't continue to gain sober strength if you keep sobriety as a major priority. I can't remember how much sober time you have but I felt pretty good (not perfect - the best was yet to come) after the first year.