soulpower89

Hi all. I finally started looking into this because I've had a problem for years, but after losing my phone and having an extremely belligerent Halloween out with friends, it seems my time is up.
In university I had a few run ins -- drank too much, blacked out , lost my phone, all that classy stuff. I'm living at home again to pay off debts and I've given my parents a few scares over time. Coming home not knowing where my stuff is, leaving the car somewhere, etc. I'm not an alcoholic in the sense that I wake up needing alcohol, and can't seem to live with it, but once I drink, I often want more. Especially when it comes to wine, I can't just have one glass if I'm at home...if I'm at a restaurant or something it's fine, but if I'm left to my own devices, or socializing at a party, I often want more. I need to grow up. I keep telling myself I can handle my alcohol, or I'll do better next time, but clearly this isn't true. I'm embarrased and feel pathetic. I'm a teacher...some kind of role model I am. I'm looking into going to an AA meeting to meet people and hear their stories. I feel stupid for being so young..but I just thought it would be good to talk to people and know I'm not alone, even that other young people have faced these issues too...

Soberween

I was just at a meeting yesterday and heard a somewhat young woman speak who was a teacher and got a DUI with possession of marijuana eight years ago. She didn't drink every day or in the mornings, but it was beginning to affect important areas of her life. She ended up getting sober a couple of months later and has now been sober for eight years and is a wonderfully well respected teacher. With the right tools, you can nip it in the butt before any of these type of things happen. Not that they definitely will and I'm not saying you are an alcoholic, but you can significantly decrease the chances of these type occurrences by taking control of this binge drinking problem now while you are still young. Do a little research and put together a tool box of things that will combat this and you will never have to wake up the day after Halloween (or any day for that matter) feeling like this again. You've already made positive step in coming here to discuss your concerns. You are in a safe place. Keep coming back!

Jsbodhi

Hi!
Welcome xo
I drink exactly in the same pattern as you, wine as well. I feel like I could've written your post myself
I'm 32, this has been going on for years; at 26 I was doing it too, but I always just thought I'd stop at 30.
I actually tried to stop at 31 and its been a year of trying :/
Quit while you're ahead, it doesn't get any better, it only got worse and worse and worse

sugarbear1

many people have a problem before they turn 26, so don't feel that you are alone or too young.....

"once I drink, I often want more." this is my definition of one who has alcoholism, like me!

Anna

And, you know, it's what happens to you when you drink which really determines whether or not you're an alcoholic. I'm glad you found us and that you are working on recovery.

soulpower89

Yeah. I was belligerent, and lost my friend. She tried to call me and instead worried all night. I asked her if she'd ever hang out with me again -- "yeah, but probably not when you're drinking." The sad thing is I've heard this before. Worse than the guilt is just feeling so absolutely pathetic...

Roxyblues

Never too young. I had 3 treatments and 6 months in a halfway house by 16. Nothing to feel stupid about. You are obviously intelligent and educated. That makes little difference to alcoholism. You have done the best you could do given the circumstances and you have done what alcoholics do, drink. Be kind to yourself and focus on the solution.

Opivotal

Alcoholism doesn't discriminate, young , old, male or female.

I found Sober Recovery to be a supportive and very informative site.

I'm glad you found us soulpower.

Welcome !

Jsbodhi

It feels horrible when you start to hear that from people isn't it?!

((((( hug)))))

soulpower89

Yeah, it does. I just link alcohol with 'fun'. Everybody I know drinks. I'm single, and when guys want to go on a date, its for - guess what? Drinks. My own dad said people who don't drink aren't fun.... but that's maybe what I need to search for. Friends who don't drink much, or who's life doesn't revolve around it. That's hard. I also really don't want to tell people I have a problem or advertise it, especially if I'm not close with them.

damascus1986

I got clean at 26. 4 years later i wouldn't change it for the world. There is a part of society that doesn't drink, just when we are surrounded by ppl that do it seems like everyone does. Im pretty open with my past issues with substances. i guess i reached a point either like me for who i am or move on with me being accepted by people.

Soberwolf

Hi Soulpower nice to meet you

loulou1981

Hi Soulpower!!!! 26 isnt too young, I know what u mean about the occupation thing...im a police officer, 34 & mother of 2, i deffinately should know better!!!! But hey, we're also human & sometimes its hard to admit we have a problem.
I drink like u, once or twice a week, or perhaps nothing for 2 wks, but each & everytime booze makes contact with my lips i am never satisfied until i pass out, this is a problem, i may not be alcohol dependent in a physical aspect but i feel i am dependent on it in more of an emotional sense. I wish i could drink sensibly but never have & have accepted that i never will!!!!

Hevyn

Hi soulpower. Great to have you with us.

I know how you're feeling. At 26 I was beginning to have the same problems. I wish I'd questioned my drinking habits like you're doing. Instead, I kept trying to manage & control my drinking. I was sure nothing would ever be fun without it. Many years later, I found myself completely dependent on it - no control at all. I should have paid attention to the warning signs. My whole life would've been different. I'm glad you're here to talk things over.

least

Welcome to the family.

soulpower89

Thanks for the replies guys. I have been trying to manage and control as well... at first I said I was young, I was in school, it only happened every once in awhile..."once" is all it takes to black out and have god knows what horrible thing happen to me. I was nonsensical last night. I really hope I can kick it for good and realize it's time to grow up.

Hevyn

We can have the best of intentions - but once the first few drinks are in our system, unpredictable things are going to happen. I put myself in so many dangerous situations - it really is a relief to be free of it.

RedManc7

Welcome soulpower - when drink/drugs negatively start impacting something you value in life (eg friends family finances, personal safety etc whatever) and there are implications then it's addictive behaviour. As already said it gets worse not better, and you never know what's round the corner.
I started using heroin to cure really bad hangovers - ended up flat out addict for several years-Didn't see that one coming !!

It's good you acknowledge you have a problem and are being honest with yourself about it - stopping drinking in my exp needs searing honesty and really good planning and support especially in early transition phases.

Good luck - welcome to SR.

bigsombrero

Ditto. I also noticed a bad pattern in my 20's and thought that somehow turning 30 would make it all stop. Alas, I waited until I was 36 to get sober. Don't worry, you're smart coming here - there are really lots of younger people like yourself here. Welcome! Your story is familiar to many here, we've been there and done that. Stick around and read the forums and keep posting!

Anna

Welcome SoulPower,

It's a hard decision to make, but I found that stopping drinking was far easier than trying to manage my drinking. The obsession of the mind is exhausting. I'm glad you've decided to live a sober life.