Resetti

Hello, everyone, I've been drinking.

Not today, but yesterday and the days before. I don't know why, everything was going my way. There are no extenuating circumstances to make me drink. I wish there was, I wish there there was some terrible reason I'm going through this, but there isn't. I drank even though I didn't want to drink and I really wanted to stop. But I failed.

I considered suicide a few times, but couldn't put my loved ones through it.

I'm not going to drink today, that's all I can say.

I feel completely defeated, I was so sure, I always thought if I put my mind to something I'd do it. I'm so sorry.

I won't drink tonight, I'd like to say I won't drink forever, but I've said that before.

Hope everyone is doing well, Resetti.

Retread1959

I'm glad you got back to us, Resetti. Let us know how we can help you. Maybe you can join one of the "class" threads here and get to know some people who are working on sobriety and about where you are in your journey. I know that joining a class has helped me quite a lot. We're here for you.

biminiblue

Just keep working at it. Many people struggle for a while before it sticks.

You only fail if you stop trying. Onward!

Recoverkathryn

I have struggled to. One thing someone said in a meeting is keep coming back till the miracle happens. I hold on to that and just go on one day at a time. You can do it!

Anna

Resetti, I know how dark it looks when you've tried hard and not made it. But, you're back and that's what matters. Is there something you can add to your day, to your plan, that will help you stay sober?

Hevyn

It's good to see you, Resetti. I'm glad you wanted to talk about what happened.
Please don't be defeated. This is a powerful disease we're fighting. The important thing is, you came back to continue trying. Never, ever give up on a better life for yourself.

fini

Resetti,

wishing for a terrible reason, a monstrous event in one's life to ease the fact that you drank again...ja, been there.
drinking when i didn't want to...sort of been there, too. i drank when i didn't want to though i wanted to, too; but most certainly, there was all that drinking that was against my own will.

I feel completely defeated, I was so sure, I always thought if I put my mind to something I'd do it.
yes; that was my experience many times. it took a gazillion times and then some sober time before i could really acknowledge, accept and integrate that putting my mind to it wasn't all that was required.
plenty other stuff in my life was accomplished with just that.

you can use defeat to advantage, if it means finding a different route than the one you've used so far, which hasn't worked out for you.

it's possible, and doable.
great to see you here, and great you know you won't drink today. neither will i

Saskia

Because alcoholism is one of those conditions we can't "see" and we can't test for it, it's what I call an invisible disease. So it's hard to accept that the very nature of this condition is that we can't easily "control" it. When we relapse, we think of it as a moral failure. It's not! It's the pull of the addiction. That doesn't mean we can't learn to deal with it - we most definitely can. But for some it's harder than others - the strength of the addiction varies, I believe.

The best way I know to get back on the horse is to stop beating ourselves up and get on with the hard work of staying sober.

Soberwolf

Hi Resetting its really good to have you back

ccam1973

One day at a time, Resetti. There is no shame in your relapse. You are back at it now, learn from your past to stay strong today. We are human, not perfect or immune to setbacks. Take pride in coming back and making this work again. You've got the power to get your life back, you can make this happen.

Lean on us as much as you need. We are here to help each other.

loulou1981

Hey Resetti, don't beat urself up, ive done it a ton of times, aim to make this ur last & take 1 day at a time. Perhaps next time u feel like ur going to drink just log on here & let us talk u out of it, that's what we're here for. Ur not alone, just remember that. Remove thise feelings of taking ur life, u CAN get through this, don't let the demon take ur life💕

doggonecarl

Instead of being defeated by your relapse, recognize that not drinking, for the alcoholic, is more that a decision. It takes recovery. Which equates to action. So look at the gaps in your recovery plan (assuming you have one) and close them.

Bunnyrabbit

Don't be too hard on yourself, quitting alcohol is a process and at least you're making steps in the right direction, you'll get there it just takes time and a lot of stumbling and getting back up again. I can't even count the times I was going to quit drinking and failed miserably. It's like leaving a bad relationship, it doesn't happen overnight but at some point you'll "get it" and it'll take less and less effort. Just keep making steps in the right direction and don't despair

SoberLeigh

Welcome back, Resetti.

Alcoholism can be relenting but it CAN be beat. Shore up the holes in your plan; add some extra defenses (start a recovery journal, plan to spend 30 minutes a day on SR, read some books on alcoholism . . . ).

Never, ever give up; you, your life and your future are worth it.

entropy1964

Hi Resetti
Hang in there. Alcohol is a hugely depressing drug....after a few days you will start to feel a lot better. You can do this!

thomas11

When we learn to ride a bike, we fall down, usually a lot. But we keep trying and trying and then one day, we don't fall, and we just keep going. You can (and will) do that too. Don't be too hard on yourself. You said you won't drink today, and that's a pretty good start.

Findingtheway

Don't give up. I could have written that post 10 months ago.

I've had a few slips were i drank after trying to stop...The worst one was 10 months ago. I haven't had a drop since.

You CAN stop and STAY stopped. You don't have to do it on your own.

SR is here to help you. AA can help too...Have you considered attending a meeting?

Mountainmanbob

We learn in recovery that it is not only the bad times in which we may have the desire to drink but, in the good times also.

Heard an old guy in AA share once that once some of these new commers get back what they lost and hit the good times they will drink yet again. I thought to myself that he didn't know what he was talking about and I was grateful to be back on the good road.

Well, I was all so wrong and although feeling and thinking all so good about myself and my life I did drink again.

Being 100% grateful for sobriety all of the time is a #1 tool.
Sometimes hard to find, but worth it's weight in gold.

MM

SoberInCLE

Sorry to hear about your setback but it sounds like you are really committed to beating this. I don't think you can lose.