Fabat50

I posted earlier about my dream plans for the weekend to stay sober. Am now slowly getting pissed ( pissed = European for drunk) on my second bottle of wine. I am just a F XXng loser. Waste of space. Pathetic. I HATE myself . Hate hate hate. I have got so many obligations tomorrow . the thought of going through them all with a hangover. I despise myself. Shoot me now. Please. And am not looking for your replies. Don't deserve them and am almost too drunk to care. Thank you for all your amazing help till now. Love this site. You are all great. Hopefully will be back at some point in the future when I get my sXXX together.

Hevyn

Fab - I'm glad you wanted to talk about what happened. You're not a waste of space or a loser - you're an alcoholic. We're here to help you through this. You can be disappointed & angry with yourself, but we aren't giving up on you.

Fabat50

Hevyn you made my cry. I don't know what to do.

Fabat50

It can't be that difficult. I threw everything out... drink and bottle openers. I just drove a long long long way to get a couple bottle of wine.. I live in the country side. Got home.. realised I did not have a bottle opener any more so smashed the bottle hard on the side of the sink to break the neck off and then pulled the glass off before I poured a glass. I hate myself so much. The self loathing. I feel ashamed to post. I even feel as if I am letting you all down you unknown people in the four corners of the world.

JD

Fabat, try as hard as you can to stop where you are now. Don't drink anymore tonight. You are not a loser. In the morning start over not drinking. This is not easy but you can do it. There is no such thing as failure, just a learning experience that you can use on your next attempt to stop drinking.

Dallow

Fabat, I am all too familiar with what you're going through right now. Still glad you came here to share, it seems even though you are angry with yourself right now you have not given up. Please come back and talk to us!

SoberLeigh

Sorry to hear that you are struggling, Fabat.

Can you pour out what's left, drink plenty of water and get bed.

Tomorrow is a new day - a new beginning - and it can be a new day 1.

We are here for you.

Fabat50

Please help me.

Fabat50

Yes. Yes. Am watching Elvis singing "In the Ghetto" live. Well he was live. He is dead now. Crying. Water and bed. yes.

Dharma33

Hey Fabat-

I'm not giving up on you, either. And, you don't have to scrap your plans for the weekend. Drink some water, get some sleep, and go at it again sober tomorrow.

I promise you, it is not impossible. Perhaps tough to get a start, but you have to give yourself a chance.

Don't drink tomorrow. The rest will begin to fall into place.

Fluffer

First off, please stop the self-loathing. Having a drinking compulsion doesn't make you a bad person, you just fell into a trap that has caught millions of other people. Please take it easy on yourself, pour out the rest of the wine and pick yourself up in the morning! We've all been there!

Carlotta

Like Hevyn said, you are not a waste of space or a loser: you are an alcoholic just like us. get some rest, drink a lot of water so you won't get dehydrated and log back in tomorrow.
Then tomorrow look at your plan and see what was missing and what could be improve.
Get some rest and I hope that you will stay home and not go driving in this condition.

Fabat50

tommorow will be moi 5th start. in less then a month. I can't get past day 7

teatreeoil007

You are not a loser!!

Fabat50

I love Elvis. And wine. Am drunk. SOrry

sydneyman

What happened?

sydneyman

I mean why did you end up buying wine?

Anna

Fabat, you are not a loser and you can get beyond this, and you can get beyond Day 7.

We'll be here for you tomorrow.

Saskia

Fabat, hang in here with us! So many of us have gone through similar experiences. Becoming sober and staying that way is really hard for some of us. I lost count of the number of times I tried and failed and now I'm finally getting close to 15 months sober. Beating ourselves up just pulls our focus away from the work we need to do.

Get some sleep, then come back tomorrow!

LBrain

Well the first thing you gotta do is to start loving yourself. And you can start by puting forth the effort to resist your urges.
I KNOW it is not an easy request. You are not alone as millions of others have done the same thing. Pick yourself back up. Go forward and try to substitute your "need" for wine with something else for the time being. Eat a whole chocolate cake if that's what it takes. Anything but wine. And have a nice hot up of tea with that cake.