Fabat50

Sydniman . why did I buy wine?
Because I wanted to? Needed to? Because I am a waste of space? Because I am an alcoholic and addict a weak person? What the f is that as a question. Sorry you are without doubt a great person syndi but how the hell do I answer that question?

Fabat50

Am in bed. its late here I have a big bottle of water; i am really sorry. I feel embarassed.

sydneyman

Your not a waste of space..sorry if I offended you. It was not my intention..maybe you will have that answer tomorrow..
Day tomorrow fab. I been following you here so I know you can do this.

Fabat50

thank you sorry to be rude; i am a really nice person . goofnight sydenman

by the way why does everyone think i am a guy. is it my pseudo. or is ti because this is mainy a guy thing? I am a fragile single mum. not fragile when sober. Nite.

sydneyman

Good night!!sleep tight and tomorrow is a new day.

Dallow

This is not a guy thing, there are many women here and I am one of them. Just like you I am very fragile while drunk and strong when I am sober. Have a good rest and come back to get some sober time and get stronger! We know you can do this. Good night!

loulou1981

Tomorrow is a new day, u drank because ur an alcoholic & its very hard to just ignore the need/want. We're glad u posted, this is where u should come when ur having a **** time. Don't dwell on tonight's mistake, its day 1 tomo. Perhaps next time u feel the urge u can post on here beforehand & c if that helps?? Sending big hugs!!!🙅🙅

Hevyn

Fab - The reason we're all here is to hold each other up during times like this. No one feels let down. Almost everyone struggles early on, and no one understands like your fellow alcoholics. Please be kind to yourself and begin again. I know you're tired of this, and ready for a new life. Keep talking to us.

ccam1973

Fabat tomorrow is a new day. You absolutely deserve to be sober, you deserve it for you. Tomorrow is another day 1. Learn from today, use it to strengthen your tomorrow.

Most of us have been where you are at right now, I know I have many times. Although, for years, I could never make it through the day without drinking. I woke up telling myself this would be the day I would quit and by night, I was drinking again, and again, and again, and again...

You can do this Fabat. You are strong enough to make this happen for yourself and you deserve to be happy.

This community works because we are here for each other. We are here when others in our lives cant be there for us, or don't understand what we are going through.

We believe in you just as you believe in us.

Get some rest, tomorrow will be a fresh start.

SoberInCLE

I believe you want to get it together and that you can. Hoping you keep coming back here for encouragement.

Frank14

Please check in and let us know how you're doing. I've definitely been there as most of us have. Do yourself a favor and listen to Elvis' rendition of "Amazing Grace." It's gotten me through some pretty tough times.

Soberwolf

Time2Rise

You're not a loser; it just seems that way right now. I'm sure most, if not all, of us have been exactly where you are right now. I know I have, more than a few times, but I won't give up, and neither will you.

Carlotta

How are you doing today Fab?
I hope you are not feeling embarrassed or anything. Just check in with us so we know you are ok then read around the forums to see what would help you make your plan more solid. If you don't have a plan, today is a great day to formulate one.
It is your choice:

- You could stew all day in self hatred and self pity
- You could drink and engage in some self destructive behavior some more

- You could go back on your sober path. Go check in with your class, commit to not drinking for the next 24 hours in the recovery connection thread and see what else you need to make your sobriety stick.

I am confident enough to speak for the group and say that we truly hope to see you here today

JD

What Carlotta says Fabat. Let us know how you're doing. Please don't feel embarrassed or that we don't want to know. Many of us have been where you're at and we understand.

Carver

I'm really torn between Elvis' version and Dolly Parton's. Both awesome though.

Don't leave SR Fabat, we want you here. You can beat this, and you can help support us too.

That feeling of "I'm such a loser"...remember that tomorrow, and remember that you don't want to feel that way anymore. You can do this.

PurpleKnight

Hopefully that time in the future is today Fabat!!

Check in and make another go of it, we all want to see you beat this!!

Hevyn

Fab - We look forward to you rejoining us & giving this another go. I needed several day ones before I got it. You're no different than the rest of us.

Fabat50

Dear friends.

I am more than mortified when I re read what I posted last night and totally ashamed of myself. I want to thank each and every one of you for your messages of support and encouragement both here and in PM (and the great Halloween photo too!!). And I want to apologise to Sydneman because I was rude to you (drunk rude).

I honestly had no idea how difficult this was going to be. I had no idea how bad things are for me. I was worried when I finally faced up to the fact I was an alcoholic but I thought it would be just a question of self discipline and "a bit of effort".

I woke up this morning, worryingly after having drank 2 bottles of wine with only a mild headache. Just shows how high my tolerance levels have become.

Other than feeling embarrassed about last night I was immediately motivated to "try again" and feeling actually quite positive and focussed. I called my Dr and asked for her to find me a place in a suitable rehab with a short stay as possible. I have avoided this option until now for obvious reasons.. time off work.. children etc. But I think that without some serious support, counselling, mentoring, workshops etc.. I am worried that I am going to end up in a constant spiral of sober for a week drunk for a day sober for a week drunk for a day. I hope to hear back shortly about where and when. I am very fortunate that we have an efficient health service where I live and I have a good private health insurance too so I should be able to go in mid november at the latest.

I feel as if I am taking a drastic decision and there are major conséquences for organising my childcare etc but I am prepared to do whatever it takes because in the long run it is in my family's interest.

I listened to Elvis a lot today.. Amazing Grace, Glory Glory Hallelujah, many wonderful songs. I thought a lot about how an amazing man, with the world at his feet, a beautiful daughter.. could have ended up the way he did and die so terribly young. Superstar or working Mum we face the same challenges don't we.

I wish you all a wonderful Halloween weekend. xx

BixBees505

Thanks for posting, FABAT!! We really wanted to hear from you. These are really amazing people, aren't they?? AND they are funny!!!
FABAT, i am So, so, so glad you bounced back ready to start again. Stay here. Post often. These folks truly understand. You are perfectly understandable to people like us.