Break Free Sober Weekender Thread Oct 30th...
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
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This is a great topic, Ken. It's something that I've been thinking about a lot. What has been passed down to me and what I'm passing on to my kids. I blamed my mom for many years. But now I understand. If you are not taught coping skills you can not pass them down. I learned as a child that alcohol was the medication for stress, anxiety, or anger. It taught me that loved ones were not to be trusted. It affected my attachment abilities. It led to unhealthy and unstable relationships. I never learned to appropriately express my feelings. So we've kept it going. But the difference here is that now we've broken the chain. We can stop it here and now. It's time for me to have a serious talk with my children.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
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Morning folks - yes, Ken, let's break that cycle!
I have alcoholics in my family. Many of them drank like fish, but it seems like from 1940-1980 a lot of people drank heavily and it was seen as a part of daily life. There are some old family tales of how my grandfather was left alone to be raised by his mother after his father gambled and drank his life away and fled to Canada to avoid a crime of some sort. My parents are not alcoholics, nor is my sister, and treated me well as a child. I've got no complaints on my upbringing. Maybe that helped me get sober, having "normal role models" to reference when I was just getting clean. I was going to say that maybe it made things easier, but it was NOT an easy mental road and thus I prefer living on the sober side of the tracks.
Chillin' here for Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) down Guatemala way. Vendors have set up their food shops near the town cemetery, selling churros y chocolate and other various foods. The cemetery will be a busy place this weekend as people here will visit dead relatives, and picnic on grave sites and remember those who they have lost. There's also a couple huge kite festivals down here - check out these kites!
[B]Day of the Dead: Guatemala's Giant Kite Festival[/B]
I am not going to make the trek, too much hullaballoo. I'll go someday, though!
I have alcoholics in my family. Many of them drank like fish, but it seems like from 1940-1980 a lot of people drank heavily and it was seen as a part of daily life. There are some old family tales of how my grandfather was left alone to be raised by his mother after his father gambled and drank his life away and fled to Canada to avoid a crime of some sort. My parents are not alcoholics, nor is my sister, and treated me well as a child. I've got no complaints on my upbringing. Maybe that helped me get sober, having "normal role models" to reference when I was just getting clean. I was going to say that maybe it made things easier, but it was NOT an easy mental road and thus I prefer living on the sober side of the tracks.
Chillin' here for Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) down Guatemala way. Vendors have set up their food shops near the town cemetery, selling churros y chocolate and other various foods. The cemetery will be a busy place this weekend as people here will visit dead relatives, and picnic on grave sites and remember those who they have lost. There's also a couple huge kite festivals down here - check out these kites!
[B]Day of the Dead: Guatemala's Giant Kite Festival[/B]
I am not going to make the trek, too much hullaballoo. I'll go someday, though!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
.
Hey!
Great topic, Ken!
Mesa Mon, here, was adopted way back in the Stone Ages of the '50s when Cars had Tail Fins. Mebbe I'll get around to the whole Story; too involved to tell this early in the Thread.
I did some Background Lite Research and found that I'm likely 1/2 Scottish, and 1/2 Polish. Huh. Now, just why again am I predisposed to Drink ? There's a luxury in not knowing Family History. I can create my own History. I chalk up my prodigious Drinkin' primarily to Genetics. And - hey - if I'm wrong, who cares? It's my Movie to create. In no small Irony, in what would today be considered a very invasive Background Check, '50s Social Workers went through my Adoptive Parents' Trash looking for evidence of unsuitability like - wait for it - Beer Bottles!
Meanwhile, when I settle on the Genetics explanation, a lot of complicating Baggage just evaporates. I'm predisposed to Sunburn. Lawd knows, I'm not the size to ever be a Horse Jockey. I Drink like there's no tomorrow. And, there almost wasn't one. To me, those are all equivalent statements re: my Genetics. The Alcohol part is not uniquely something to get my Panties all in a wad about. Any more so than the fact I Sunburn. Once Sober, it's nothing to endlessly flagellate myself about. It just is...
So, objectively true or not, accepting how I'm wired made getting Sober more of a straight line proposition; although an extremely challenging one in the early daze.
Let's all not Drink to our Sobriety, eh?
- 'All Together Now' ~ The Beatles -
.
Hey!
Great topic, Ken!
Mesa Mon, here, was adopted way back in the Stone Ages of the '50s when Cars had Tail Fins. Mebbe I'll get around to the whole Story; too involved to tell this early in the Thread.
I did some Background Lite Research and found that I'm likely 1/2 Scottish, and 1/2 Polish. Huh. Now, just why again am I predisposed to Drink ? There's a luxury in not knowing Family History. I can create my own History. I chalk up my prodigious Drinkin' primarily to Genetics. And - hey - if I'm wrong, who cares? It's my Movie to create. In no small Irony, in what would today be considered a very invasive Background Check, '50s Social Workers went through my Adoptive Parents' Trash looking for evidence of unsuitability like - wait for it - Beer Bottles!
Meanwhile, when I settle on the Genetics explanation, a lot of complicating Baggage just evaporates. I'm predisposed to Sunburn. Lawd knows, I'm not the size to ever be a Horse Jockey. I Drink like there's no tomorrow. And, there almost wasn't one. To me, those are all equivalent statements re: my Genetics. The Alcohol part is not uniquely something to get my Panties all in a wad about. Any more so than the fact I Sunburn. Once Sober, it's nothing to endlessly flagellate myself about. It just is...
So, objectively true or not, accepting how I'm wired made getting Sober more of a straight line proposition; although an extremely challenging one in the early daze.
Let's all not Drink to our Sobriety, eh?
- 'All Together Now' ~ The Beatles -
.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
GS - no way, don't drink the tap water down here. I brush my teeth and wash dishes with it, so it's not too bad. But for drinking water I have a service that shows up every Monday and Thursday, they give me big gallon jugs like office water coolers to refill my own drinking supply.
Forgot to comment on PK's amazing NFL weekend!
That's so cool you're going to watch the NFL in London, PK. Sounds super fun. Are you cheering for the Lions or the Chiefs? The three Lions, Richard the Lionheart, etc....seems like the Lions are the natural team to support there across the pond, no?
The Lions are awful this year, but they've been the victims of bad luck. A terrible call reversed a big win for them against Seattle earlier in the season. They're kind of the eternal underdogs, longest championship drought on record. Matt Stafford is their QB and he's either hot or cold - no in betweens. I'm sure you're aware of Calvin Johnson, the best WR in the NFL, he's the playmaker.
The Chiefs are having a ho-hum season after surprising the league last year. They lost their best player (you know about Jamaal Charles) a couple weeks ago and things look grim. Not much to be excited about in KC right now, though the new RB Chicandrik West looks like a fun new player to watch. Chiefs QB Alex Smith gets sacked more often than any other QB so look for the Lions D to try and smother him like other teams do.
That's all I got off the top of my head. Enjoy, PK!
Forgot to comment on PK's amazing NFL weekend!
That's so cool you're going to watch the NFL in London, PK. Sounds super fun. Are you cheering for the Lions or the Chiefs? The three Lions, Richard the Lionheart, etc....seems like the Lions are the natural team to support there across the pond, no?
The Lions are awful this year, but they've been the victims of bad luck. A terrible call reversed a big win for them against Seattle earlier in the season. They're kind of the eternal underdogs, longest championship drought on record. Matt Stafford is their QB and he's either hot or cold - no in betweens. I'm sure you're aware of Calvin Johnson, the best WR in the NFL, he's the playmaker.
The Chiefs are having a ho-hum season after surprising the league last year. They lost their best player (you know about Jamaal Charles) a couple weeks ago and things look grim. Not much to be excited about in KC right now, though the new RB Chicandrik West looks like a fun new player to watch. Chiefs QB Alex Smith gets sacked more often than any other QB so look for the Lions D to try and smother him like other teams do.
That's all I got off the top of my head. Enjoy, PK!
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Breaking free from the cycle of addiction and dysfunction that tends to run in our families - great topic 
G'morning Weekenders!
Sipping coffee, getting dressed, and headed out the door. I'll be getting my fingers in some dirt today, will be spending some time with plants, yay I love plants and flowers. They are so hopeful, determined, and serve as great examples of peaceful dwelling in the present moment. Relaxing to be around.
G'morning Weekenders!
Sipping coffee, getting dressed, and headed out the door. I'll be getting my fingers in some dirt today, will be spending some time with plants, yay
I love plants and flowers. They are so hopeful, determined, and serve as great examples of peaceful dwelling in the present moment. Relaxing to be around.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm exhausted trying to analyze my family and my life. Imma pass on that share today
I remember thinking "analysis paralysis" perfectly described me - I thought that at age 19. You can imagine the over-thinking I've done since 1973.
I remember thinking "analysis paralysis" perfectly described me - I thought that at age 19. You can imagine the over-thinking I've done since 1973.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Ive given up analyzing too, bim.
It's depressing and renders me immobile so what's the point. The only thing I allow myself to think about and remember is my sister. Sometimes It's almost a penance to stay sober in honor of her memory. Yes...I know we aren't supposed to look at sobriety as a penance, but it is what is.
Digging in the dirt is so therapeutic. Enjoy, potamus.
Hi mns!
Hey Jen....mns is the one who introduced me to the rope (hemp) smoothie!
It's depressing and renders me immobile so what's the point. The only thing I allow myself to think about and remember is my sister. Sometimes It's almost a penance to stay sober in honor of her memory. Yes...I know we aren't supposed to look at sobriety as a penance, but it is what is.
Digging in the dirt is so therapeutic. Enjoy, potamus.
Hi mns!
Hey Jen....mns is the one who introduced me to the rope (hemp) smoothie!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Well, I spend time in this thread because it isn't all doom and gloom like the rest of the forums. I give up a lot of my story to newcomers who are struggling, because they sometimes still have that terminally unique spin to their story - like "I cannot stop drinking because my life is/was so sucky." In those cases I'll give some of my story for identification purposes. Mostly I am weary of the woe is me stories though.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: usa
Posts: 3,938
Well...I survived the dental appointment. I dread having my teeth cleaned. It's such a good thing to have finished.
presently having my pellet stovecleaned. Getting ready for winter. I lit my furnace pilot yesterday. Us single women have to be self-sufficient.
I basically have the day off. This has been a light work week. I needed a break.
I'm happy that I'm feeling happy these days.
presently having my pellet stovecleaned. Getting ready for winter. I lit my furnace pilot yesterday. Us single women have to be self-sufficient.
I basically have the day off. This has been a light work week. I needed a break.
I'm happy that I'm feeling happy these days.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Originally Posted by biminiblue 
Well, I spend time in this thread because it isn't all doom and gloom like the rest of the forums. I give up a lot of my story to newcomers who are struggling, because they sometimes still have that terminally unique spin to their story - like "I cannot stop drinking because my life is/was so sucky." In those cases I'll give some of my story for identification purposes. Mostly I am weary of the woe is me stories though.
Sometimes we are burlap and other times silk and yet other times cellophane!!!!!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
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well Bim, is you is or is you ain't one of us? it's amazing - no it isn't really - that there a so many different denominations and offshoots and different parishes etc. etc. etc. all based upon the same concept - or person. Peter is the rock... but that rock has been chipped away so much so that the church is now a big bag of sand...
But I really know not much about that stuff...
good topic K... All of my grandparents were gone long before I came along. They got off the boat and went straight to the coal mines. Then the bars in between.
Very little was spoken of my dad's dad except that he drank himself to death, and it was on both sides... not to mention my upbringing...
I also looked at my 'heritage'. The PA coal regions usually lead the nation in drinking. All aspects of it. Growing up there was at least on bar every block in that area.
It was how we was raised up there. I had to get away, but it took a long time to shake the drinking mentality.
Life moves forward now. No longer stuck in that mindset, or bottle.
An interesting side note: The family tree was struck by lightning when a protestant married a catholic. Shunned in the manner of the Amish...
We are a silly bunch we humans.
Enough of that. Got to get prepared to entertain the Mrs this weekend. Hopefully there is still "color" on the trees in Virginia. Not apposed to rain until Sunday so we get at least one full day of blue sky.
But I really know not much about that stuff...
good topic K... All of my grandparents were gone long before I came along. They got off the boat and went straight to the coal mines. Then the bars in between.
Very little was spoken of my dad's dad except that he drank himself to death, and it was on both sides... not to mention my upbringing...
I also looked at my 'heritage'. The PA coal regions usually lead the nation in drinking. All aspects of it. Growing up there was at least on bar every block in that area.
It was how we was raised up there. I had to get away, but it took a long time to shake the drinking mentality.
Life moves forward now. No longer stuck in that mindset, or bottle.
An interesting side note: The family tree was struck by lightning when a protestant married a catholic. Shunned in the manner of the Amish...
We are a silly bunch we humans.
Enough of that. Got to get prepared to entertain the Mrs this weekend. Hopefully there is still "color" on the trees in Virginia. Not apposed to rain until Sunday so we get at least one full day of blue sky.
...holds the key
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 7,065
Oh yeah....congrats on shotgun Behan!
I so hear you on the woe is me stuff, bim. And I didn't see your post pre-edit, but think a hug is in order dear bimini
Hey trees!
HAf...glad to hear you're feeling happy these days! Yay!
I so hear you on the woe is me stuff, bim. And I didn't see your post pre-edit, but think a hug is in order dear bimini
Hey trees!
HAf...glad to hear you're feeling happy these days! Yay!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
I'm in and you guys are awesome!
Who said Queen? I have that song in my head, too! I'll play it on my phone while prepping at work today. It will be a lively day in the kitchen, we have a VIP group with dietary restrictions, so lots of substitutions ..
My mom died two years ago from cancer related to smoking and drinking. She asked me to quit drinking before she died.
I just couldn't go on the way I was. I broke the cycle for myself. I have a lot to do and enjoy. The way I was going I might as well have been dead, that's about how much I cared about anything and I was trashing my health.
I should quit smoking cigarettes, too. But I'm scared. Same excuses I had for not quitting drinking.
I'm enjoying coffee in bed for a few more minutes and I'm so grateful I don't have a hangover. That was the worst cycle... Waking up and feeling so horrible, and then getting my lies straight to the people I would have to text back, and the people to avoid at work and facing the commute not knowing if I would throw up or not on the way, the anxiety that gave me cold sweat, the shakes. It feels SO GOOD to be free!
Who said Queen? I have that song in my head, too! I'll play it on my phone while prepping at work today. It will be a lively day in the kitchen, we have a VIP group with dietary restrictions, so lots of substitutions ..
My mom died two years ago from cancer related to smoking and drinking. She asked me to quit drinking before she died.
I just couldn't go on the way I was. I broke the cycle for myself. I have a lot to do and enjoy. The way I was going I might as well have been dead, that's about how much I cared about anything and I was trashing my health.
I should quit smoking cigarettes, too. But I'm scared. Same excuses I had for not quitting drinking.
I'm enjoying coffee in bed for a few more minutes and I'm so grateful I don't have a hangover. That was the worst cycle... Waking up and feeling so horrible, and then getting my lies straight to the people I would have to text back, and the people to avoid at work and facing the commute not knowing if I would throw up or not on the way, the anxiety that gave me cold sweat, the shakes. It feels SO GOOD to be free!
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