help PLEASE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 1
help PLEASE
Looking to connect with another NA member that also understands BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. I am drowning at an alarming rate. I even went on to treatment and still used the same day I returned. I have 3 incredible sons whom I want nothing more than to be sober for....to restore those precious relationships I took for granted. I have come close to death more than once...I am dying as I type. Yet I cannot force myself from this isolation.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I am not in NA, nor do I have BPD but I couldn't not reply to your call for help - do you have phone numbers of others in NA? Maybe talking to someone will get you out of your head. Can you find something to keep you busy? Take a walk, a shower, clean out a drawer?
((hug))
Welcome to the forums. Keep posting, it helps.
((hug))
Welcome to the forums. Keep posting, it helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I have no experience with these issues myself.
You may to try posting in the substance abuse forum. It is pretty active and there may be a few people who will be able to relate to what you are experiencing. Best wishes.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And keep posting here as well. Many of us have or are suffering from similar issues.
You may to try posting in the substance abuse forum. It is pretty active and there may be a few people who will be able to relate to what you are experiencing. Best wishes.
Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And keep posting here as well. Many of us have or are suffering from similar issues.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
welcome!!
first off, sobermum; I want to congratulate you and give you a big pat on the virtual back for two things;
1 - your willingness to seek help with sobriety
2 - your acknowledgement of BPD
I am a father of two girls whose mother is very likely BPD. I say very likely because it's undiagnosed 'officially' - but her behaviors and the impact to the children and to those around her are 100% consistent with BPD. Including the very telling fact that she vehemently denies there is "anything wrong" with her.
I'm not a mental health professional, a physician or otherwise qualified to be of credible help - but I can share with you a couple of important things I've learned as I've sought to learn about BPD and what I've learned in my own journey with addiction and recovery that may be useful.
First of all - BPD is a complicated and dynamic continuum of things. What I've found is that there is still a lot of misunderstanding, evolving theory and general issues with awareness and level of adoption even in the mental health community. Finding a therapist who has specialized in mood disorders, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorders for a couple of decades will probably be a very powerful asset to you. Here again I'll echo that your NUMBER ONE asset is your acknowledgement of it and your willingness to seek support, learn, make change and treat it.
BPD can have huge implications on children. There is a book called Understanding the BPD mother that might be very useful to you. Getting help and support for yourself is a gift to your children. Getting support for THEM is also something that might be a very wise move.... to help them make sense of their world and the way that BPD will be likely to impact them at times.
Recovery alongside BPD is probably going to be a powerful combination - both for you and for your kids. Recovery can be a real challenge and I'm sure with something as emotionally and mentally complex as BPD it will be even moreso. I myself have learned that I have carried myself through depression and anxiety using drugs and alcohol - and only in recovery was I really able to begin owning that, learning better ways to cope, and even 'healing' myself of some of the symptoms.
I found a lot of help and support on the forums at BPD Family (bpdfamily.com) - this site is more for those impacted BY BPD than those with it, but may be useful to you as well. If you Google "BPD support forums" you will find lots of others out there, and these can be a powerful way to help you with the isolation you are feeling and to connect with empathetic, understanding others who can be allies in your growth.
Above all, try to keep a positive attitude, try to embrace support and embrace faith - know that if you do this and you take steps to be moving toward a happier, healthier, richer, balanced life and are open to be supported and guided, are committed to being the best YOU that you can be - that your suffering can be shifted to a grateful growth, learning and eventual realization of a life far more wonderful than you've ever imagined.
first off, sobermum; I want to congratulate you and give you a big pat on the virtual back for two things;
1 - your willingness to seek help with sobriety
2 - your acknowledgement of BPD
I am a father of two girls whose mother is very likely BPD. I say very likely because it's undiagnosed 'officially' - but her behaviors and the impact to the children and to those around her are 100% consistent with BPD. Including the very telling fact that she vehemently denies there is "anything wrong" with her.
I'm not a mental health professional, a physician or otherwise qualified to be of credible help - but I can share with you a couple of important things I've learned as I've sought to learn about BPD and what I've learned in my own journey with addiction and recovery that may be useful.
First of all - BPD is a complicated and dynamic continuum of things. What I've found is that there is still a lot of misunderstanding, evolving theory and general issues with awareness and level of adoption even in the mental health community. Finding a therapist who has specialized in mood disorders, anxiety, depression and bipolar disorders for a couple of decades will probably be a very powerful asset to you. Here again I'll echo that your NUMBER ONE asset is your acknowledgement of it and your willingness to seek support, learn, make change and treat it.
BPD can have huge implications on children. There is a book called Understanding the BPD mother that might be very useful to you. Getting help and support for yourself is a gift to your children. Getting support for THEM is also something that might be a very wise move.... to help them make sense of their world and the way that BPD will be likely to impact them at times.
Recovery alongside BPD is probably going to be a powerful combination - both for you and for your kids. Recovery can be a real challenge and I'm sure with something as emotionally and mentally complex as BPD it will be even moreso. I myself have learned that I have carried myself through depression and anxiety using drugs and alcohol - and only in recovery was I really able to begin owning that, learning better ways to cope, and even 'healing' myself of some of the symptoms.
I found a lot of help and support on the forums at BPD Family (bpdfamily.com) - this site is more for those impacted BY BPD than those with it, but may be useful to you as well. If you Google "BPD support forums" you will find lots of others out there, and these can be a powerful way to help you with the isolation you are feeling and to connect with empathetic, understanding others who can be allies in your growth.
Above all, try to keep a positive attitude, try to embrace support and embrace faith - know that if you do this and you take steps to be moving toward a happier, healthier, richer, balanced life and are open to be supported and guided, are committed to being the best YOU that you can be - that your suffering can be shifted to a grateful growth, learning and eventual realization of a life far more wonderful than you've ever imagined.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 748
Iamasobermum take a DEEP breath. You are in good hands here. People will help you.
I am sure you will find people here who have the same disorder as yourself, and there are lots of other people, like me, struggling with other mental health issues and addiction but who can also relate to your current sense of despair. I also have 3 amazing kids.
Tell us a bit about your situation, if you feel like you want to. What support networks do you have?
I am a newbie here to and already it feels like I have been welcomed in to a new family. You will feel that too.
I am sure you will find people here who have the same disorder as yourself, and there are lots of other people, like me, struggling with other mental health issues and addiction but who can also relate to your current sense of despair. I also have 3 amazing kids.
Tell us a bit about your situation, if you feel like you want to. What support networks do you have?
I am a newbie here to and already it feels like I have been welcomed in to a new family. You will feel that too.
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Originally Posted by imasobermum 
Looking to connect with another NA member that also understands BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. I am drowning at an alarming rate. I even went on to treatment and still used the same day I returned. I have 3 incredible sons whom I want nothing more than to be sober for....to restore those precious relationships I took for granted. I have come close to death more than once...I am dying as I type. Yet I cannot force myself from this isolation.
Good Luck no matter what. I applaud the fact that you are here and smart enough to realize help is needed.
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