Im new here and im ready to start my journey to recovery.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 4
Im new here and im ready to start my journey to recovery.
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm really starting to think I have to quit drinking all together instead of just fighting to control it. I drink every second night and have between 5-9 drinks. I used to be able to go two days without but lately I'm feeling like I struggle to go one day without.
When I was younger I would drink till I blacked out, and now my life is just a constant battle with me vs my addiction and trying to believe that I can be a moderate drinker.
Iv noticed the only time I feel happy is when I drink and the only thing I get excited about is drinking. I just want to feel happy about anything other than drinking. Did anyone else feel like this? And does it get better?
I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm really starting to think I have to quit drinking all together instead of just fighting to control it. I drink every second night and have between 5-9 drinks. I used to be able to go two days without but lately I'm feeling like I struggle to go one day without.
When I was younger I would drink till I blacked out, and now my life is just a constant battle with me vs my addiction and trying to believe that I can be a moderate drinker.
Iv noticed the only time I feel happy is when I drink and the only thing I get excited about is drinking. I just want to feel happy about anything other than drinking. Did anyone else feel like this? And does it get better?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Yes, you are not alone. I felt like that quite a bit. I've been a daily drinker and a weekend binger. When daily drinking, it was routine, but when I "cut back" to just weekends, I would be in a pretty good mood all day knowing I could go home and have some drinks. It gets better. How long that takes is probably different for everyone. Many feel bored, and at first it kind of is, so having a plan is what is recommended. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Welcome, Lullsia, to SR.
When I stopped drinking, I couldn't imagine a life without. The thing was that I could no longer imagine a life with it. I was broken and defeated.
The good news is that you can turn away from alcohol and lead a very happy and fulfilling life.
I never imagined sobriety could be so wonderful.
When I stopped drinking, I couldn't imagine a life without. The thing was that I could no longer imagine a life with it. I was broken and defeated.
The good news is that you can turn away from alcohol and lead a very happy and fulfilling life.
I never imagined sobriety could be so wonderful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 4
I feel exactly like that SoberLeigh. I feel as though I have no future at all with alcohol in my life. I have more control now over my drinking than Iv ever had before but it still controls me and runs my life. I come up with all these ideas for hobbies and things I want to learn but instead of actually doing any of them I just get drunk and talk about doing them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,870
Sobriety is incredibly freeing; sometimes we don't know just how tightly we were bound until we have snapped the links of the chains.
One of the keys to snapping the links of the chain is acceptance - accepting that we are alcoholics, that we cannot successfully moderate our drinking, and that abstinence is the only solution. I gave moderation so many, many tries and I failed miserably with each attempt. The day I reached 'acceptance' was a game-changer for me.
Have a look around the site. Give special attention to the "Stickies" at the top of each forum; there is so much information and wisdom in them.
We are here for you 24/7.
One of the keys to snapping the links of the chain is acceptance - accepting that we are alcoholics, that we cannot successfully moderate our drinking, and that abstinence is the only solution. I gave moderation so many, many tries and I failed miserably with each attempt. The day I reached 'acceptance' was a game-changer for me.
Have a look around the site. Give special attention to the "Stickies" at the top of each forum; there is so much information and wisdom in them.
We are here for you 24/7.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome, Lullsia. I'm so glad you're here. 
It was the thought of missing out that caused me to keep trying to control it. I knew I didn't drink like normal people - it meant way too much to me. Nothing seemed worthwhile unless it involved alcohol. Chasing the happy times I once had drinking, I brought myself to my knees. In the end, I was completely dependent on it - drinking all day. When I found SR I knew I never needed to be alone again. This is a wonderful place for friendship and understanding.
It was the thought of missing out that caused me to keep trying to control it. I knew I didn't drink like normal people - it meant way too much to me. Nothing seemed worthwhile unless it involved alcohol. Chasing the happy times I once had drinking, I brought myself to my knees. In the end, I was completely dependent on it - drinking all day. When I found SR I knew I never needed to be alone again. This is a wonderful place for friendship and understanding.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Did I feel happy when I drank? No. Especially not at the end. I felt numb. And I maybe forgot my problems to a degree. But, once I realized I had a problem with alcohol, the joy of drinking was displaced with guilt and shame. And of course, all of the problems that I had tried to ignore by getting drunk sprang back in spades.
So, you are doing the right thing. I am much happier, calm and productive since I quit drinking. And I finally have started to like myself and foregive myself. It has been a worthwhile journey for me.
I wish the same for you.
So, you are doing the right thing. I am much happier, calm and productive since I quit drinking. And I finally have started to like myself and foregive myself. It has been a worthwhile journey for me.
I wish the same for you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 26
Welcome Lullsia!
I too am new on my journey. It seems like our stories are quite similar. I have a little over a month now and life has been so much more fulfilling already!
Thepeople here have helped immensely and I would say come here every day, even if you do not post, just read and read and read.
Two things that help me through any day: 1. You never have to take a first drink again (knowing what the consequences are) and 2. You are not alone!!!
Again, welcome!
I too am new on my journey. It seems like our stories are quite similar. I have a little over a month now and life has been so much more fulfilling already!
Thepeople here have helped immensely and I would say come here every day, even if you do not post, just read and read and read.
Two things that help me through any day: 1. You never have to take a first drink again (knowing what the consequences are) and 2. You are not alone!!!
Again, welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Here's something you can try:
Think back on a time or times in your life when you were happy without drinking. If you were able to be happy without drinking at one point in your life, you can do it again. As you remember being happy without drinking, just tell yourself over and over again that you can get that back.
"You can if you think you can!"
Blessed Be...
Think back on a time or times in your life when you were happy without drinking. If you were able to be happy without drinking at one point in your life, you can do it again. As you remember being happy without drinking, just tell yourself over and over again that you can get that back.
"You can if you think you can!"
Blessed Be...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Hmmmm. j
Guilt and shame are funny things.
On the one hand they can make us really want to change so we won't feel guilt and shame anymore because guilt and shame are not enjoyable emotions. So, you can USE your guilt and shame in a good way if you really want to quit drinking. Like you say, you don't want to feel like this again...so take action and do what you need to do to not feel like this again...
On the other hand...there comes a point when we need to SHED guilt and shame as carrying around those negative emotions can turn you into an unhappy person with low self esteem! So, there has GOT to be some way to shed the guilt and shame. For me, I just decided to forgive myself and continue to love myself and start thinking more positive. I decided to surround myself with positive things and positive people as much as possible. I took an assessment of other negative emotions that I might be holding in too and have tried to find ways to deal with them and somehow resolve them.
I like to remember that there are people who love and care about me and sometimes I'm am much harder on myself than anyone.
The sobriety "path" is one of learning to forgive, changing what needs to be changed, being patient with yourself, drawing on the help that is available and being good to yourself...(there are many other wonderful things on the sobriety path too)...figuring why you feel compelled to drink ...
Blessed Be...
Guilt and shame are funny things.
On the one hand they can make us really want to change so we won't feel guilt and shame anymore because guilt and shame are not enjoyable emotions. So, you can USE your guilt and shame in a good way if you really want to quit drinking. Like you say, you don't want to feel like this again...so take action and do what you need to do to not feel like this again...
On the other hand...there comes a point when we need to SHED guilt and shame as carrying around those negative emotions can turn you into an unhappy person with low self esteem! So, there has GOT to be some way to shed the guilt and shame. For me, I just decided to forgive myself and continue to love myself and start thinking more positive. I decided to surround myself with positive things and positive people as much as possible. I took an assessment of other negative emotions that I might be holding in too and have tried to find ways to deal with them and somehow resolve them.
I like to remember that there are people who love and care about me and sometimes I'm am much harder on myself than anyone.
The sobriety "path" is one of learning to forgive, changing what needs to be changed, being patient with yourself, drawing on the help that is available and being good to yourself...(there are many other wonderful things on the sobriety path too)...figuring why you feel compelled to drink ...
Blessed Be...
Resident Awesome Guy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Castle Pines, CO
Posts: 747
Welcome! SR is a great support system. Keep reading and keep posting.
As for these early feelings, just know in my opinion, we kid ourselves into thinking that most of society drinks and has a good time doing activities while drinking. I dont believe this to be the case. Mostpeople do not drink or use like we all do, we just probably surrounded ourselves with those who did. It is time to surround yourself with others and find activities that while make you happy, without the booze. Trust me, i have played this game going on 6 years now with quitiing then backsliding and quitting again. It is a life long challenge, but one that together we can win!
Again...Welcome!
As for these early feelings, just know in my opinion, we kid ourselves into thinking that most of society drinks and has a good time doing activities while drinking. I dont believe this to be the case. Mostpeople do not drink or use like we all do, we just probably surrounded ourselves with those who did. It is time to surround yourself with others and find activities that while make you happy, without the booze. Trust me, i have played this game going on 6 years now with quitiing then backsliding and quitting again. It is a life long challenge, but one that together we can win!
Again...Welcome!
& yes it gets a lot better sobriety is such a precious gift
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Welcome to SR, Lullsia! I'm glad you found us here. You'll find a lot of help and support from folks who've walked in your shoes. Speaking for myself moderation just doesn't work (or it didn't work for me). I could moderate for short periods but it was miserable- the beast always wanted rein. Two drinks wouldn't make me feel better- it would only make me want five more.
I found true freedom and peace only when I decided I couldn't win the war against booze by moderating. Only by not fighting at all, and totally walking away from booze, could I break free.
I found true freedom and peace only when I decided I couldn't win the war against booze by moderating. Only by not fighting at all, and totally walking away from booze, could I break free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK, South Coast
Posts: 605
Originally Posted by Lullsia000 
Hi everyone,
I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm really starting to think I have to quit drinking all together instead of just fighting to control it. I drink every second night and have between 5-9 drinks. I used to be able to go two days without but lately I'm feeling like I struggle to go one day without.
When I was younger I would drink till I blacked out, and now my life is just a constant battle with me vs my addiction and trying to believe that I can be a moderate drinker.
Iv noticed the only time I feel happy is when I drink and the only thing I get excited about is drinking. I just want to feel happy about anything other than drinking. Did anyone else feel like this? And does it get better?
I'm new here and just wanted to introduce myself. I'm really starting to think I have to quit drinking all together instead of just fighting to control it. I drink every second night and have between 5-9 drinks. I used to be able to go two days without but lately I'm feeling like I struggle to go one day without.
When I was younger I would drink till I blacked out, and now my life is just a constant battle with me vs my addiction and trying to believe that I can be a moderate drinker.
Iv noticed the only time I feel happy is when I drink and the only thing I get excited about is drinking. I just want to feel happy about anything other than drinking. Did anyone else feel like this? And does it get better?
This time ive been honest with my partner & some family members which i feel has made a huge difference & im on here eeading everyday, its a blessing & honestly i feel great, 2day is day 11, i dont feel bored or anxious which is what i was worried about, good luck!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 4
Thanks so much to you all for the support! For the first time in a long time I feel hopeful! Today is day two and usually the day I would have drank but I haven't! I think this site is the reason. I feel so inspired by everyone here and have found it so helpful to read through all the threads.
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