Kallistia

I hate a conversation with a friend about this for last night - for a moment I wondered if she was secretly on this forum

I worry that counting days may replace the obsession associated with substance abuse. First it was obsession with the substance...then obsession with not using the substance...is that healthy or trading one for the other?

I don't know. I forgot what day I was on before I hit the one month mark. I knew it was one month because I'd set a reminder in my phone. I have a reminder for two months also but can't tell you exactly how many days until then.

I suppose whatever works for some and not others and vice versa. Who am I to say what is and isn't an appropriate method to achieve ones goal?

leviathan

It's been awhile since I tallied days. I've found myself doing it in waiting room situations (usually after reading all the magazines and before counting ceiling tiles). I do know my date, because we all introduced ourselves with it in group at rehab.

I will probably celebrate or treat myself on anniversaries. It's an opportunity to feel pride in the accomplishment of doing what I said I would. No harm in that, I figure.

Time2Rise

It's better to strive for quality and not quantity IMO. Counting days helps in early sobriety IMO, but after a few months I hope to be so engaged with life that I no longer concern myself with counting days. Of course, I'm sure I will always remember my sobriety date, but hopefully I'll have to check my sobriety counter to know exactly the number of days I've been sober.

Delfin

I'm very proud of my days. They took a lot of hard work. So yeah, very important for me. But that's not true for everyone.

Do whatever works for you.

Delfin

Soberwolf

Kaily I just want to say don't give up I know its tough esp with the Dr's and everything lean on us were here 24-7

dcg

I know which day I stopped drinking only because it was part of a two-three week taper, so I know exactly how much I took in daily until the amount was 0ml.

My take on it is probably a bit different than most. I take very little pride in getting sober. I view not abusing alcohol everyday as something adults do so I just transitioned to adulthood, albeit way later in life. It's probably why I haven't told any family since I'll probably hear some congrats etc., and that would probably make me shamefully wince since I'm more embarrassed over the 3 decades I spent pissing away life than proud of the ~3 months I've been sober.

Perhaps my disposition will change later, but this is the epiphany sobriety has given me on boozing in my life, and I haven't had a real craving and I'm around booze often.

Kaily

dcg I know exactly what you mean! Thanks

InTheEnd

I was on top of my counting daily for a few weeks but now, when I think "Hey, wonder how many days now?" I have to break out the calendar and count. All I know off of the top of my head now is my "day one" date.

Sooooooooooo, this thread just made me do that! Today is day 79! Now, that makes me feel good! But if you ask me next Wed, I'll have to count all over again!

Holds1325

I counted days in the beginning of sobriety. It helped me remember that I can actually do this.

However, I think some people can use it as a crutch, such as I can stay sober this long might as well drink I can always quit later.

Really, I stopped counting weeks and days awhile ago, unless i need some type of reference. Or just to remind myself of my sobriety etc and to see the long road that I left behind me.

Mostly though it doesn't matter the days or years, what matters is that you won't drink today or ever again. The days and years of sobriety after this mentality, will happen regardless.

thomas11

I'm one that does not count days. I am a very black and white person. I believe I do it out of simplicity. When I drank, I drank, when I don't, I don't. I keep it that simple. I know that I am probably not normal in that respect, but that is how I do it.

Crete211

Kaily,

It is a good tool, especially in the beginning. It lets you know you can go 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week... And if you have loved ones in your life that this disease has affected, it a good bench mark for them as well.

It has faded away for me, however, after a month. I treat every day as a new one and i just never have to have a first one... I understand some people need an every day reminder, but I do not. I am a person who does not drink. Pretty simple.

So , your "birth date" can be a great tool, but it is not for everyone.

Soberwolf

Good morning Kaily wishing you the best for today if you ever want to talk vent etc drop a pm anytime

Best wishes

MythOfSisyphus

I don't obsess over the number but I do like to use the years to remind me that it's not written in stone that my life has to be one certain way.

oak

Kaily- I can understand what you wrote about counting days as focusing on alcohol (the presence or absence of alcohol). Obviously, there are so many different ways to be in recovery.

I wouldn't want to count days away from alcohol, because that sounds dreary. However, I love being sober and I have some desire to celebrate sober time.

I don't try to count days, but I am aware every September that I have another year sober.

Until this year, I found anniversaries triggering. I tried not to think about having 3 or 6 months, but it was hard not to notice when I was near those milestones.

I like the idea of focusing on the quality of sobriety today. But also- I do feel less likely to relapse now that I have 3 years sober. (However, five years ago, I did relapse after many years sober, so I know that people can relapse after many years sober.)