Telling People?
 

Hey everyone! I am on day 10 and feeling pretty good!

Yesterday, I went over to my parents' house and everyone was drinking. My sister-in-law brought a bunch of stuff to make some apple pie drink and asked if I wanted one. She was disappointed when I said no thanks. At this point, I have only told my husband about my sobriety. I made up some excuse to my family that I was too tired to drink and that it would make me fall asleep. They probably all think I am pregnant now or something! lol.

Anyways, when I got home and mentioned that this happened to my husband he told me that I should just tell them the truth. I feel like it would be too awkward to tell them. I am hoping that they will just slowly over time realize that I don't drink anymore. Is this too much to hope for? Did you all make announcements to everyone when you stopped drinking? I am not sure if there is something deeper in me not wanting to say anything to my family and friends.

If your husband knows, then the most important person to your recovery knows. As for anyone else, do what you feel comfortable with.

I told people I quit drinking. I told some of them it was because I had a problem with alcohol. If people wanted details, I w as not afraid to share them. But most people don't make a big deal about it.

I didn't see a need to announce my sobriety publicly to anyone, even my non-immediate family. Over time what I found was that for the most part no one really notices one way or the other anyway. As alcoholics we tend to obsess about what other people think about our drinking ( or our abstinence ), but the reality is that they really don't think about it at all.

I told my wife and my immediate family but other than that I dind't feel a need to tell anyone else. And thusfar I've never even once had a question from anyone about why I wasn't drinking. Sure I've been offered a drink but I just ask for a water or a soda and that's pretty much the end of the conversation.

Everyone in my family knew I had
to quit drinking because they pulled
and intervention on me to save my
life.

There's so much addiction out in
the world today and so many turn
a blind eye or ignorance to it and
it's so out there destroying folks,
tearing families or relationships
apart, so much violence associated
with it.

For many today, like yourself, recognizing
your own addiction and wanting to learn
about it, get help for it to live a happier,
healthier, honest life without it, I applaud
you.

Back in 1990 I was at that point in
my addiction not believing or admitting
I had a serious problem with it that it
took my own family to step in, doing for
me what I surely couldn't or didn't want
to do for myself.

However, today, some 25yrs sober, I am
extremely grateful for their help in sending
me to rehab and placing me into the hands
of those capable of teaching me about my
alcoholism and its affects on my mind, body
and soul as well as those around me.

Once I received my program of recovery
taught to me, I learned it, absorbed it, applied
it to all areas of my life in order to experience
the Promises as written for us in the Big Book
of Alcoholics Anonymous and enjoy them.

I also learned early on that once I entered
recovery, that it became my program. No
one else in my family needed recovery like
I did and so it became my own responsibility
to do whatever I needed and wanted to do
to remain sober.

I also learned that I could explain my
addiction and my recovery to someone
that has no addiction till I was blue in
the face and it still didn't matter. I couldn't
make them understand what and who I
was because they were not addicts.

Eventually I had to learn to accept them
just they way they are because I couldn't
change them or their way of thinking.

Acceptance is the Key to a freedom
in recovery I hadn't known before.

It's a awesome gift. :)

Stay on track with ur recovery program,
take care of you because like so many of
us, we are worth it. :)

No, I made no announcement at all, nothing. My husband noticed right away, but other than that, I just did what I needed to do. I refused to feel guilty if someone was upset because I said no to alcohol. I think when someone puts guilt out there when you refuse a drink, it's on them.

No announcements from me either

Absolutely right! I've been badgered by one person so far to have a drink (because I hadn't told that person), but just be firm. Anyway, his wife told him to shut up in the end :D

Not anyones business IMO. They will figure it out eventually. Only told my wife. My mom noticed Im sure my dad did too. Eventually I am sure they will ask but Im not going to announce it...

I didn't tell anybody either. I never felt it would be helpful to have people hovering over me about it and quite possibly judging me. Regular drinkers just don't understand. I'm about 100 days sober and I'm really glad I never talked about this with my family or friends.
Having said this, I've read here that some people find the accountability of telling people helpful. I guess that like everything else, it depends on your situation.

Delfin

Tell as many people as you want or no-one at all, it is totally your choice.

I'm 10 days sober and found it very hard this past weekend with friends who were drinking a lot. They seemed a little put out that neither of us was drinking..like we had robbed them of something..not sure what. Toward the end of the night they were drinking wonderful Cognac, my fav and practically pushing it on me. Took me all I had not to have a little (leading to a lot), so I didn't.
Hubs said I should tell everyone..all I am saying is that I'm giving it a rest for a bit as I've overdone it recently..testing myself. People can relate to that and it doesn't sound judgey. I am remembering people I've met in the past who didn't drink and I remember dismissing them as boring. WTF...

I've never had the conversation with anyone other than one true and trusted friend whose life is eerily similar to mine in so many ways. My wife is aware that I'm different but it's kinda unspoken or understood as such. There is no right or wrong here just do what's best for your unique situation.

No need for any grand announcements!!

"I'm not drinking this evening, I'll have a soda please" . . . "oh really" . . . "yeah, I'll have a soda, thank you"

Keep it simple!! :)

You bring up a great topic! Deciding to tell more people about your sobriety is a bit of a crossroads that you come to on the sober path...

One of my support persons challenged me to start telling others, namely family members...it's a big step for me for sure as there a lot of big drinkers in my family...but I think it's a good step to take and REINFORCES your convictions! Just my 2 cents. They may or may not respect and support you, but on a positive note I think there are PLENTY of folks who will respect and support you. But your self respect comes first.



Blessed Be...

I agree that it's a personal choice.

I told everybody and reminded them often but I live in a pretty small town and got 3 DUI's. Everyone here knew about all of it. I told my friends because they were all drunks and I wanted them to know why I wasn't hanging around the old haunts. I told my family because I wanted them to know I actually gave a crap about living.

I had tried quitting and keeping it to myself several times before and it never took. I found that telling people helped with accountability and most importantly helped me accept that I could never drink safely again.

Thanks everyone. I tend to over-analyze every little detail of everything! I think I will just let it be unspoken to everyone at this point. I like the advice to keep it simple!

I used to drink a lot, so when people were put out when I refused to drink at social gatherings I just told them that my blood pressure was up and I wasn't drinking because it raises my blood pressure, and didn't agree well with my medication, which is actually true.