Words from my addictive voice.
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Words from my addictive voice.
"Hey blueberry, 90 days sober... You so rock! You know what I think you could be a moderate drinker you know, why don't you try it and see!! You so have learnt your lesson, you wont get that bad again, you only drank like that because you were grieving. Your'll be fine!!!"
I told my AV to f-off. It baffles me, the insanity of being an alcoholic. Its like I have a little devil on one shoulder whispering this kind of stuff in my ear and a little angel on the other shaking its head. Im kinda grateful to my little angel right now! I cant be a moderate drinker I've tried it time and time again it does not work. Have to remind myself that I AM an alcoholic, I don't necessarily like that fact, but it is what it is.
Just crazy that momentarily I considered throwing 90 days down the pan, Im glad I didn't. Just nuts.
I told my AV to f-off. It baffles me, the insanity of being an alcoholic. Its like I have a little devil on one shoulder whispering this kind of stuff in my ear and a little angel on the other shaking its head. Im kinda grateful to my little angel right now! I cant be a moderate drinker I've tried it time and time again it does not work. Have to remind myself that I AM an alcoholic, I don't necessarily like that fact, but it is what it is.
Just crazy that momentarily I considered throwing 90 days down the pan, Im glad I didn't. Just nuts.
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Originally Posted by jd1639 
It is nuts, isn't it? You're doing great, 90 days is awesome!
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Great job on 90 days, blueberry, and on shutting down the AV.
Our AVs will persist and persist and try to tell us anything and everything. Remember that their logic is always badly flawed and that they are consummate liars.
The AV will quiet down with time and the building of your sober muscles.
Our AVs will persist and persist and try to tell us anything and everything. Remember that their logic is always badly flawed and that they are consummate liars.
The AV will quiet down with time and the building of your sober muscles.
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh
Great job on 90 days, blueberry, and on shutting down the AV.
Our AVs will persist and persist and try to tell us anything and everything. Remember that their logic is always badly flawed and that they are consummate liars.
The AV will quiet down with time and the building of your sober muscles.
Our AVs will persist and persist and try to tell us anything and everything. Remember that their logic is always badly flawed and that they are consummate liars.
The AV will quiet down with time and the building of your sober muscles.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Any thought that tells you that a drink would be a great idea, maybe even someday, is AV. So is any thought you can't do this sober thing, that you can't make this decision for yourself and do it, see it through. I say that because there is an end to the battle with the AV, and that comes through acceptance - no battle, no struggle required. It is yammering, it isn't, whatever. No matter what that voice says, you are in full control of the doing. You choose.
Stay the course, blueberry. You are doing great! Onward!
Stay the course, blueberry. You are doing great! Onward!
Sober since 10th April 2012
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That's a great post BB, because it's exactly what the AV does once you get past the raw cravings. It gets all reasonable and logical, and many get taken in. Congrats for seeing your AV for what it is.
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Hi Blueberry,
Congratulations on 90 days!
The difference between your post and some others is that you started it with "My AV says..." rather than "I would like a drink..." - you realise exactly what that voice is, and you shut it down. You're stronger than this awful addiction, and that's amazing
Woo hoo!!
Congratulations on 90 days!
The difference between your post and some others is that you started it with "My AV says..." rather than "I would like a drink..." - you realise exactly what that voice is, and you shut it down. You're stronger than this awful addiction, and that's amazing
Woo hoo!!
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Thanks guys it really has helped recognising my addictive voice, I learnt this from here right on SR, so a huge thanks 
Its back again today, said it wants a vodka.... Ive just told myself that urge will pass. Its messing with me at the moment as a milestone birthday is coming up in a few weeks, trying to convince me that it'll be ok to celebrate with some bubbly..... Got to keep telling myself NO, if I dont take that first drink then I cant relapse right?! I CANT go back to how I was destroying me and everything around me. I NEED to remind myself of this, that actually drinking is seriously a bad idea! Off to AA tonight. Keeping sober.
Its back again today, said it wants a vodka.... Ive just told myself that urge will pass. Its messing with me at the moment as a milestone birthday is coming up in a few weeks, trying to convince me that it'll be ok to celebrate with some bubbly..... Got to keep telling myself NO, if I dont take that first drink then I cant relapse right?! I CANT go back to how I was destroying me and everything around me. I NEED to remind myself of this, that actually drinking is seriously a bad idea! Off to AA tonight. Keeping sober.
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I would far rather indulge in birthday sweets of every imaginable kind than to take a drink.
At about six months I had a weeklong fight with the AV. Since then it's been fairly quiet. Just little whispers now and then, but no real persistent thoughts. Hang on, hang on.
At about six months I had a weeklong fight with the AV. Since then it's been fairly quiet. Just little whispers now and then, but no real persistent thoughts. Hang on, hang on.
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