If I was a drunk, I wouldn't have to deal with this.
sending love & hugs AO
11.30.14
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: California
Posts: 401
Alphaomega,
I'm not sure if this will help or not, but your post on Google was instrumental in directing me to SR. I was on that same crazy train from hell!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
I just want you to know that you've helped a lot of us by sharing your experiences and reaching out to others in their time of need. I know it's hard for you now, but try and keep your focus on maintaining your sobriety. There's a ton of great suggestions in this thread, so I don't really have much more to add.
I'm not sure if this will help or not, but your post on Google was instrumental in directing me to SR. I was on that same crazy train from hell!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...night-lot.html
I just want you to know that you've helped a lot of us by sharing your experiences and reaching out to others in their time of need. I know it's hard for you now, but try and keep your focus on maintaining your sobriety. There's a ton of great suggestions in this thread, so I don't really have much more to add.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
This thread has given me so much to think on.
Why would I be willing to forfeit my sobriety in exchange for a ticket out of this hell ? Why is THAT, in my mind, the only opt out ?
Isn't it enough that im exhausted ? Or have general anxiety disorder ? Or depression ? Why is that not enough ?
Why would I be willing to forfeit my sobriety in exchange for a ticket out of this hell ? Why is THAT, in my mind, the only opt out ?
Isn't it enough that im exhausted ? Or have general anxiety disorder ? Or depression ? Why is that not enough ?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Love and hugs to you, AO.
I am glad that your Mom is going to be admitted.
Once she is settled, I hope that you go home and take a warm and aromatic bath and then get some rest.
Take care of yourself, AO, in the special way that we take care of you if we could.
I am glad that your Mom is going to be admitted.
Once she is settled, I hope that you go home and take a warm and aromatic bath and then get some rest.
Take care of yourself, AO, in the special way that we take care of you if we could.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
(((((AO)))). Since your mom is checked in, would seeing someone from social services be helpful?
Yes, I recall being in the ER with my mom. She was flipping me off behind the backs of staff, mouthing threats and the F word at me. Good times, good times! Completely uncooperative and badly behaved. Social services along with my own doctor told her she could no longer be at home and needed a greater level of care than I was able to deliver. Oh for sure she was mad as hell but realized it was a futile exercise to keep throwing fits.
She ended up in a very nice skilled nursing home and eventually settled into the routine. She still said mean things to me and about me even though I was seeing to the laundry and all her outside needs. She was in there exactly one year before she passed over. I sweated and worried and felt somewhat guilty the whole time.
It was the best solution, looking back I have no regrets other than not being able to find peace with her. More is always revealed and over time I learned some of her secrets, they explained a lot. I mostly feel sorry for her, that she couldn't have put some of her beasts to rest. She lived a life of spite, I'm afraid. A beautiful, talented woman, chose not to be at peace.
I know you can do this. Let her go into care with professionals. Oh and my mom actively tried to sabotage me and my sobriety too. It hurt me. But it did make it easier to step back. Not in anger, but calmly and knowing it was the best I could do.
I hope this helps you. Feel free to PM me it you need to talk more about it.
Love from Lenina
Yes, I recall being in the ER with my mom. She was flipping me off behind the backs of staff, mouthing threats and the F word at me. Good times, good times! Completely uncooperative and badly behaved. Social services along with my own doctor told her she could no longer be at home and needed a greater level of care than I was able to deliver. Oh for sure she was mad as hell but realized it was a futile exercise to keep throwing fits.
She ended up in a very nice skilled nursing home and eventually settled into the routine. She still said mean things to me and about me even though I was seeing to the laundry and all her outside needs. She was in there exactly one year before she passed over. I sweated and worried and felt somewhat guilty the whole time.
It was the best solution, looking back I have no regrets other than not being able to find peace with her. More is always revealed and over time I learned some of her secrets, they explained a lot. I mostly feel sorry for her, that she couldn't have put some of her beasts to rest. She lived a life of spite, I'm afraid. A beautiful, talented woman, chose not to be at peace.
I know you can do this. Let her go into care with professionals. Oh and my mom actively tried to sabotage me and my sobriety too. It hurt me. But it did make it easier to step back. Not in anger, but calmly and knowing it was the best I could do.
I hope this helps you. Feel free to PM me it you need to talk more about it.
Love from Lenina
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