I think I hate my job!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Maryland
Posts: 321
I think I hate my job!
So, I've worked w/the same company for over 20 years. It's been good to me. A good company, and many benefits.
I kinda didn't care that it wasn't my dream job before and after hitting the age of 45 or so, I really didn't think much of it. Sorta sucked, not fulfilling, etc etc etc. I was also pretty much hungover every day....if not a major one, always a wine headache.
Anyway, now 50 and sober.....I hate it! I dread M-F, 8a-5p every day. I honestly don't know what to do!
My thoughts when drinking were "Well, this is all there is to life, and then it's over". That thought encompassed everything...my drinking, my job, and my loser life sitting on the couch drinking wine.
Now my thoughts are so much more positive, and looking TO the future, instead of pretending it doesn't exist.......Most of them, except work.
Its almost as if work is a trigger for me. My AV now talks to me about my work the same way it did/does about drinking......which gives me that "dirty" feeling when I was drinking, which just puts my mind in like a mini-state of that f'd-up place where I was when drinking.....AND which I am NOT happy about.
I'm not sure how to shake this one. Not many jobs out there in my field and very well established where I am.....and I'm good at it! Just plain sick to death of it. And the thought of a new company, at my age, and being low man on the totem pole, scares me!
Maybe acceptance of it, like I had to do when quitting drinking, will help?
I kinda didn't care that it wasn't my dream job before and after hitting the age of 45 or so, I really didn't think much of it. Sorta sucked, not fulfilling, etc etc etc. I was also pretty much hungover every day....if not a major one, always a wine headache.
Anyway, now 50 and sober.....I hate it! I dread M-F, 8a-5p every day. I honestly don't know what to do!
My thoughts when drinking were "Well, this is all there is to life, and then it's over". That thought encompassed everything...my drinking, my job, and my loser life sitting on the couch drinking wine.
Now my thoughts are so much more positive, and looking TO the future, instead of pretending it doesn't exist.......Most of them, except work.
Its almost as if work is a trigger for me. My AV now talks to me about my work the same way it did/does about drinking......which gives me that "dirty" feeling when I was drinking, which just puts my mind in like a mini-state of that f'd-up place where I was when drinking.....AND which I am NOT happy about.
I'm not sure how to shake this one. Not many jobs out there in my field and very well established where I am.....and I'm good at it! Just plain sick to death of it. And the thought of a new company, at my age, and being low man on the totem pole, scares me!
Maybe acceptance of it, like I had to do when quitting drinking, will help?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
After working at the same place for over 23 years I hated it too. I drank a lot just to get by.
It wasn't until I lost that job until I realized how much I truly despised myself for not leaving it. I would venture to guess that more than half the people - in the US - "hate" their jobs.
All I can offer is to learn some skills on how to 'remove' yourself and look at it existentially. Don't take it personally. It's just a function of survival. I think if I had learned the tools of mindfulness years ago I wouldn't have 'hated' the job as much as I did. Unfortunately, sometimes the best we can do is to 'put up with it'.
Don't quit until you find something else for sure. It never hurts to start looking elsewhere.
btw, I was 55 when I lost my job. I have no choice but to be the new guy now. And I need ten more years of income, hopefully soon. I'm still 'finding' myself.
It wasn't until I lost that job until I realized how much I truly despised myself for not leaving it. I would venture to guess that more than half the people - in the US - "hate" their jobs.
All I can offer is to learn some skills on how to 'remove' yourself and look at it existentially. Don't take it personally. It's just a function of survival. I think if I had learned the tools of mindfulness years ago I wouldn't have 'hated' the job as much as I did. Unfortunately, sometimes the best we can do is to 'put up with it'.
Don't quit until you find something else for sure. It never hurts to start looking elsewhere.
btw, I was 55 when I lost my job. I have no choice but to be the new guy now. And I need ten more years of income, hopefully soon. I'm still 'finding' myself.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Hi IntheEnd... kiddo unless you are in the mail room or dock area. you are not the low man on the totem... here you have been at the same job. for that long. wow.. with benefits and vac time and time off. and sick time. woot woot. ya its a D R A G .. but know what it pays the bills .. and here do this. like me... I volunteer.. get out in the community show your face heart and soul.. your city has a ton of great stuff I bet. and you know what you never know when some one will walk up to you and say. hey don't you work at ---- we have a new opening for someone like you. do this give me a call...
we do Open Door Milwaukee Holiday Folk Fair State Fair State Foundation Milwaukee Short Film and Milwaukee Mile.. a couple have tapped us to work parttime.. not a ton of money.. but a few extra pennies when we need them.. and because of that I am looking into the sigma Six belts.. White Belt first could take me to a better job for an investment of 100.00 why not. the course is short and you never know .. hugs and prayers you will make it.. by the way Iam 65.. have been a temp in Clerk of Courts Child Protection Loss of Civil Rights and have counted the Dead.. now work part time for 10.92 an hour in mail and dock work.. low man on the totem.. was full time they cut my hours to save money and give and exce more money.. now I fight for every tiny bit of respect I can scrape off the floor. but wil be working untill Iam 70.. knocking on wood that is... ekekkek ardy
we do Open Door Milwaukee Holiday Folk Fair State Fair State Foundation Milwaukee Short Film and Milwaukee Mile.. a couple have tapped us to work parttime.. not a ton of money.. but a few extra pennies when we need them.. and because of that I am looking into the sigma Six belts.. White Belt first could take me to a better job for an investment of 100.00 why not. the course is short and you never know .. hugs and prayers you will make it.. by the way Iam 65.. have been a temp in Clerk of Courts Child Protection Loss of Civil Rights and have counted the Dead.. now work part time for 10.92 an hour in mail and dock work.. low man on the totem.. was full time they cut my hours to save money and give and exce more money.. now I fight for every tiny bit of respect I can scrape off the floor. but wil be working untill Iam 70.. knocking on wood that is... ekekkek ardy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Hello fellow Marylander - how about looking for a new job? No one should "hate" where they spend a good majority of their waking hours. I'm lucky because I really enjoy my job and it's not a chore to be there. (Fighting traffic to get there is the least favorite part of my job). I'm 51 years old and plan on working at least another 10-15 years because I need to be able to afford retirement. But I don't believe you should be miserable every day... there are options!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
I'm fifty and have had the same employer for the past 15 years. When I first sobered up, I hated my job. I'm still not super happy with it but it pays the bills and it's a predictable routine which I really needed in the beginning.
I drank myself back into a beginning level spot but at my more senior salary. I took an internal transfer because I was mucking up where I was. I'm looking to move back up again but it takes time and opportunity.
Many people don't have jobs. Many people are losing their jobs. Many will be fired if they continue drinking. Gratitude really does help. I was super antsy around the two to three month mark. It got better.
Take time to work on your recovery in a job you know and are good at. Brush up your skills, revamp your resume/CV, and look around when you're ready.
I drank myself back into a beginning level spot but at my more senior salary. I took an internal transfer because I was mucking up where I was. I'm looking to move back up again but it takes time and opportunity.
Many people don't have jobs. Many people are losing their jobs. Many will be fired if they continue drinking. Gratitude really does help. I was super antsy around the two to three month mark. It got better.
Take time to work on your recovery in a job you know and are good at. Brush up your skills, revamp your resume/CV, and look around when you're ready.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
I'd lean towards saying it's your AV talking and not the job itself. I've worked at the same job for almost 2 decades myself and the routine does get old sometimes. But then again, if it was just fun and rainbows and unicorns all the time, they probably woudln't pay me to be here right? Tongue-in-cheek of course but the reality of it is that they call it work because it is just that - work.
Perhaps you could speak with your supervisor and see if there are any changes you could make ( new tasks, new assignments, different department ) to get some motivation going again?
Many people would be very thankful to have a good paying job with benefits no matter how boring it is....don't rule out writing the old "gratitude" list of what you have to be thankful for with your job.
Perhaps you could speak with your supervisor and see if there are any changes you could make ( new tasks, new assignments, different department ) to get some motivation going again?
Many people would be very thankful to have a good paying job with benefits no matter how boring it is....don't rule out writing the old "gratitude" list of what you have to be thankful for with your job.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 320
I feel the same way about my job. It is so dull. I am constantly preoccupied by negative thoughts about it.
To me, drinking and this job went hand in hand. So, I don't drink, I don't need this job.
Here is what I am able to do right now:
1) Monitor my recovery (mood swings, etc). I need to feel fully recovered.
2) Save money. Reduce your expenses. Determine exactly how much you need to live and save.
3) Apply. Hire a career coach if you want. You can't turn down the job you haven't been offered.
4) Complete a certification. It's not in something I want to do anymore but it shows initiative.
5) Network. That could mean volunteering. Recovery has made me socially averse but I'll need to get comfortable doing this.
6) Read. There are a lot of helpful books on job hunting and ways to discover what you want to do. (4 Hour Work Week;
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big)
To me, drinking and this job went hand in hand. So, I don't drink, I don't need this job.
Here is what I am able to do right now:
1) Monitor my recovery (mood swings, etc). I need to feel fully recovered.
2) Save money. Reduce your expenses. Determine exactly how much you need to live and save.
3) Apply. Hire a career coach if you want. You can't turn down the job you haven't been offered.
4) Complete a certification. It's not in something I want to do anymore but it shows initiative.
5) Network. That could mean volunteering. Recovery has made me socially averse but I'll need to get comfortable doing this.
6) Read. There are a lot of helpful books on job hunting and ways to discover what you want to do. (4 Hour Work Week;
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big)
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
I agree with Scott. It may not be your job, but maybe your AV is just picking on something in order for you to feel discontent. Is it possible for you to get involved in different aspects of your job and to find an area of the job that you enjoy and to try to focus on that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
I pretty frequently at least halfway hate my job.
As I've shifted to seeing it more as simply a means to an end - how I get a bag of money to support the things I do love - that has helped.
Also, trying to focus on the things I DO like about it and looking for ways to minimize the things I really really loathe.
Jobs are a tough one. I think it is far too rare in today's world that we truly have the "do what you love" opportunity to intersect what we love doing with something that will actually pay the bills.....
I have begun exploring the question "WHAT DO I LOVE??" more and more. I believe that over time, I will evolve into a thing that can provide me both financial support and personal reward. For now, I'm doing that by exploring volunteer efforts, exploring my creative expression, helping others pursue their dreams... I think these things will lead me increasingly in the direction of my own passion, and along the way they give me something beyond "My Job" to focus on and to draw from.
Best of luck with it, and congrats on sobriety!!
As I've shifted to seeing it more as simply a means to an end - how I get a bag of money to support the things I do love - that has helped.
Also, trying to focus on the things I DO like about it and looking for ways to minimize the things I really really loathe.
Jobs are a tough one. I think it is far too rare in today's world that we truly have the "do what you love" opportunity to intersect what we love doing with something that will actually pay the bills.....
I have begun exploring the question "WHAT DO I LOVE??" more and more. I believe that over time, I will evolve into a thing that can provide me both financial support and personal reward. For now, I'm doing that by exploring volunteer efforts, exploring my creative expression, helping others pursue their dreams... I think these things will lead me increasingly in the direction of my own passion, and along the way they give me something beyond "My Job" to focus on and to draw from.
Best of luck with it, and congrats on sobriety!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
No harm in looking to see what's out there, have a read and find out what you enjoy, but then within your company there may be other things to get involved in that may fulfil that need.
Sobriety I found to be a huge learning curve in all areas of life, finding out what I liked, what I disliked, take some time and work out what's best for you!!
Sobriety I found to be a huge learning curve in all areas of life, finding out what I liked, what I disliked, take some time and work out what's best for you!!
You're not shackled to not drinking, you're free from drinking
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 1,406
I'm in my late 50's and also hate my job. I no longer want the stress and responsibility that goes along with it. I used alcohol partly to escape those feelings. I used it to escape other things too. That didn't work, I'm not sure not drinking is going work either. But at least I can work on that now and not just go home, get numb, and hope it goes away. I'm not really sure what I'm writing here and don't have any suggestions, but you're not alone on these feelings.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: milwaukee wi
Posts: 3,574
Kids and Beans I did it took the step outside the cube.. I passed the first step.. I have the cert for Six Sigma White Belt.. woot woot.. on to the yellow in Jan.. going to have them send me the real Cert for completion iam so excited.. ekkekeekekeke ardy
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 359
I know I hate my job - I work under a lunatic. But it's a means to and end and that end is going to be so much better than the means.
J.P. Morgan sponsored so many men being involuntarily separated from the military and the bf was lucky enough to land one of the sponsorships for six sigma and had almost completed it when they decided to completely redo the course and he had to start over...he didn't finish from frustration...wish he had because neither of us realized how beneficial it would have been to him at the time
J.P. Morgan sponsored so many men being involuntarily separated from the military and the bf was lucky enough to land one of the sponsorships for six sigma and had almost completed it when they decided to completely redo the course and he had to start over...he didn't finish from frustration...wish he had because neither of us realized how beneficial it would have been to him at the time
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 287
Wow what a great thread, thank you. . I am also at the ole fork in the road i think. I am soon to probably be was a truck driver. I have a pending dui which if convicted the door will obviously slam shut on this career. I have a lot of anxiety about this. Im 35 but have only high school diploma. Thing is, going back to school terrifies me because its change i guess. I think i will speak with a career counselor as i get more sober (almost 3 mo now). Life on lifes terms is not always easy. I think im hoping someone at AA will be like here is 100k job, no worries lol. Pipe dreams
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 242
I like my job. I can't work with my boss anymore, great heart but CRAZY. I have alot of patients but I'm at the end of them with her. I stepped out of my comfort zone and now have an interview. I'm very excited about it. I've work with the person in charge before and it was great. Opportunities to move up and gain alot of this experience.
You have to do what is right for you and your situation. I'm taking a leap of faith in mine. I may loss some money but my sanity is more important. So is me staying sober! Best of luck in your choice.
You have to do what is right for you and your situation. I'm taking a leap of faith in mine. I may loss some money but my sanity is more important. So is me staying sober! Best of luck in your choice.
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