A week under the belt - but stag do tomorrow?!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
GM, be strong give him a few quid to get a drink. The tell don't tell,only you know all my drinking mates were easy with it , as they probably wanted to join ,except one a good friend who couldn't accept I had a problem and desperately wanted life to carry on. We had good chats over quick drinks never big , and he couldn't convert to tea!
Good luck and I can assure you your life will start to fill with good events soon enough and cancellations will slow down.
John.
Good luck and I can assure you your life will start to fill with good events soon enough and cancellations will slow down.
John.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by suki44883 
My response might not sit well with you, but I would tell my good friend what's going on and that as much as I would love to be there, my sobriety is more important. If he is truly a good friend, he will understand. JMHO.
No way would I put myself in that position with 30 drunk friends in a bar.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 507
I used to work as a bartender at an events venue that hosted stag dos. I've not wanted to go on one since, even while still drinking. It's a bunch of people feeling they have to do something even more out of control than usual. I've seen the stag get in a physical punch up with his prospective father in law, leading to a full scale brawl, while everyone nearly paralytic, with strippers (hookers) and gambling that probably none of them would ever have dreamed of doing normally. What a great way to get to know your new in-laws. Not.
Great decision not to go. The wedding itself should be easier. Take advantage of your car as an honest, genuine excuse for people you don't feel like getting in a sobriety discussion with. But I was thinking that wouldn't work with a stag do as someone will just book a cab for you and tell you to collect the car the next day. And I'd give you about an hour before your AV says "ah, F*** it, I'll just stop next week instead" and the drinks will flow. And then you'll say the same at the wedding, because you might as well wait till that's over. And then the same for the big local derby the following week that everyone's going to watch. And then your other friend's birthday, since that's just another week or two away. And then you'll be celebrating that it's Friday night. And then the weekend really starts on Thursday, and, well, you know the rest.
Great decision not to go. The wedding itself should be easier. Take advantage of your car as an honest, genuine excuse for people you don't feel like getting in a sobriety discussion with. But I was thinking that wouldn't work with a stag do as someone will just book a cab for you and tell you to collect the car the next day. And I'd give you about an hour before your AV says "ah, F*** it, I'll just stop next week instead" and the drinks will flow. And then you'll say the same at the wedding, because you might as well wait till that's over. And then the same for the big local derby the following week that everyone's going to watch. And then your other friend's birthday, since that's just another week or two away. And then you'll be celebrating that it's Friday night. And then the weekend really starts on Thursday, and, well, you know the rest.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
I had this happen, and I told my good friend a lie, told him my car was broken down ( I was 200 miles away )
He was disappointed, but he's still a very good friend, and I'm still sober. He had a good stag do without me, and I was still welcome at the wedding
He was disappointed, but he's still a very good friend, and I'm still sober. He had a good stag do without me, and I was still welcome at the wedding
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
I had a similar dilemma last weekend and chose to not go. Slightly different situation as I may not have the chance to see my pal again for years.
There was no way I could guarantee I wouldn't drink - even after getting 18 weeks sobriety under my belt - so therefore I had to bail.
I have 19 weeks now. If I had cracked and gone on a bender....
Great call and don't change your mind . You will look back on this, and the sober wedding with pride
There was no way I could guarantee I wouldn't drink - even after getting 18 weeks sobriety under my belt - so therefore I had to bail.
I have 19 weeks now. If I had cracked and gone on a bender....
Great call and don't change your mind . You will look back on this, and the sober wedding with pride
Sober since 1st January 2016
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 58
I didn't go the stag do in the end. He was really disappointed, but took it well to be fair. I didn't have to tell him about my sobrietary either, in a strange twist of fate...
My daughter's been poorly and when I got back home we had to rush her into A&E for the night as she had a temperature. Cut a long story she's on the mend and we went home about midnight.
It's fate that I reckon. If I'd have capitulated and drank (and I can knock some back in an hour I can tell you), then got summoned home because my daughter was ill, the guilt and shame would have been off the scale. As it was when I finally got to bed, I was very pleased and satisfied that I made the conscious decision to not drink, and for once my AV was almost contrite.
Thanks for the support. You were 100% right
My daughter's been poorly and when I got back home we had to rush her into A&E for the night as she had a temperature. Cut a long story she's on the mend and we went home about midnight.
It's fate that I reckon. If I'd have capitulated and drank (and I can knock some back in an hour I can tell you), then got summoned home because my daughter was ill, the guilt and shame would have been off the scale. As it was when I finally got to bed, I was very pleased and satisfied that I made the conscious decision to not drink, and for once my AV was almost contrite.
Thanks for the support. You were 100% right
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Margate, UK
Posts: 549
Originally Posted by GerdMuller
I didn't go the stag do in the end. He was really disappointed, but took it well to be fair. I didn't have to tell him about my sobrietary either, in a strange twist of fate...
My daughter's been poorly and when I got back home we had to rush her into A&E for the night as she had a temperature. Cut a long story she's on the mend and we went home about midnight.
It's fate that I reckon. If I'd have capitulated and drank (and I can knock some back in an hour I can tell you), then got summoned home because my daughter was ill, the guilt and shame would have been off the scale. As it was when I finally got to bed, I was very pleased and satisfied that I made the conscious decision to not drink, and for once my AV was almost contrite.
Thanks for the support. You were 100% right
My daughter's been poorly and when I got back home we had to rush her into A&E for the night as she had a temperature. Cut a long story she's on the mend and we went home about midnight.
It's fate that I reckon. If I'd have capitulated and drank (and I can knock some back in an hour I can tell you), then got summoned home because my daughter was ill, the guilt and shame would have been off the scale. As it was when I finally got to bed, I was very pleased and satisfied that I made the conscious decision to not drink, and for once my AV was almost contrite.
Thanks for the support. You were 100% right
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Sorry about your daughter but I'd say that is a pretty big sign from someone saying "look how reliable you can be when sober" and like you say to compare it to the alternative is just horrible, well done : )))
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