Originally Posted by MidnightBlue

- And the most important think - finally met my real self - after shelling off layers of pain fear and BS beliefs. Learning take every thought crossing my mind and asking "Is that true? Who said so?".

I had to take my world apart and build another one - because once the alcohol numbing was taken out of equation - the ugliness and wrongness of the old world became extremely obvious and it crashed. It was hard to let many old beliefs die - some of the were so deep rooted that I was sure they were integral part of me. And so it was very scary to "kill them". Like killing part of myself. But they were not.

It's still work in progress - identifying old beliefs and letting them die. And then the burden of past gets little bit lighter.