Telling on Myself
Telling on Myself
Today is Day 36 without alcohol and I decided to drink. I'm on my 4th light beer. Why? - Well, I received blood work the other day and despite my food sacrifices and diet management, my blood glucose has gone up , in addition to my cholesterol. I know it probably sounds trivial to most of you, but I I'm 66 years old and I can't even eat a piece of bread or a potato, These last few weeks I've given up alcohol and I'm just plain tired (and miserable). I have other health issues also - I'm tired of treading water. I see no future in any health improvements or quality of life. Might as well drink.
I understand your reaction and it's not trivial - but how does drinking help your health rar?
Most of us get used to the immediate gratification of the bottle.
It was really hard for me to get used to the idea I had to wait for some things and work for others.
I'm younger than you. There's a lot of things I can't eat, and a lot of things I can't do anymore.
I understand the voice that says screw this - but it's a LIAR.
You can have a fun and fulfilling life sober - you just need to believe that Rar.
I hope you'll recommit to recovery because there's nothing for you down the other road - you've been there already.
D
Most of us get used to the immediate gratification of the bottle.
It was really hard for me to get used to the idea I had to wait for some things and work for others.
I'm younger than you. There's a lot of things I can't eat, and a lot of things I can't do anymore.
I understand the voice that says screw this - but it's a LIAR.
You can have a fun and fulfilling life sober - you just need to believe that Rar.
I hope you'll recommit to recovery because there's nothing for you down the other road - you've been there already.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi Rar, far be for me to tell you what to do. But regarding cholesterol, there is medication. And as far as your glucose levels go, have you been officially diagnosed with type I or type II diabetes?
I will share my cholesterol experience. I have high cholesterol. In fact, pretty darn high. I tried all kinds of medications (statins) and while they brought down my cholesterol, I felt like I was dying. I was one of those people that they talk about at the end of the commercials (serious muscle or join pain may be serious) type of thing. You know what, I don't take any medication. Its high, and will stay that way until I die. Its a quality of life issue for me. The numbers are just numbers, guidelines if you will. We are all different. I might live a long time and I might not. But I refused to live my life in misery. I can give you the details of how bad I got while taking the cholesterol lowering medication if you want to PM me. My point is, I understand you are disappointed and turned to having a few beers, but tomorrow those issues that triggered you to grab a few beers will still be there right? Take it easy on yourself Rar.
I will share my cholesterol experience. I have high cholesterol. In fact, pretty darn high. I tried all kinds of medications (statins) and while they brought down my cholesterol, I felt like I was dying. I was one of those people that they talk about at the end of the commercials (serious muscle or join pain may be serious) type of thing. You know what, I don't take any medication. Its high, and will stay that way until I die. Its a quality of life issue for me. The numbers are just numbers, guidelines if you will. We are all different. I might live a long time and I might not. But I refused to live my life in misery. I can give you the details of how bad I got while taking the cholesterol lowering medication if you want to PM me. My point is, I understand you are disappointed and turned to having a few beers, but tomorrow those issues that triggered you to grab a few beers will still be there right? Take it easy on yourself Rar.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 5,700
I don't post that often, but you're not going to get a pass from me on your original post. I'm not a medical professional, but did you inquire about the ratio of your good and bad cholesterol? I ask because I'm almost 58 and technically have high cholesterol, but my good is the highest my doctor, who has been practicing for over 30 years, has ever seen for a male and my ratio is off the charts. Look at the details.
Furthermore, my mother is in her mid 80's and I don't think I can keep up with her activity level. My inlaws are only a couple of years younger and leave a very active and fulfilling life. Sixty six? You have many years of happiness ahead of you if you chose to pursue that path.
Furthermore, my mother is in her mid 80's and I don't think I can keep up with her activity level. My inlaws are only a couple of years younger and leave a very active and fulfilling life. Sixty six? You have many years of happiness ahead of you if you chose to pursue that path.
That sounds like the your AV is doing the thinking for you...you also sound a little depressed...
It is likely it will take a bit more than 36 days to turn your health around...
You can take back control, tell your AV that you are back and going to be doing the thinking from now on....
I don't know if you are exercising ...that can really help to bring the blood glucose levels down along with diet.
Take care : )
It is likely it will take a bit more than 36 days to turn your health around...
You can take back control, tell your AV that you are back and going to be doing the thinking from now on....
I don't know if you are exercising ...that can really help to bring the blood glucose levels down along with diet.
Take care : )
I don't post that often, but you're not going to get a pass from me on your original post. I'm not a medical professional, but did you inquire about the ratio of your good and bad cholesterol? I ask because I'm almost 58 and technically have high cholesterol, but my good is the highest my doctor, who has been practicing for over 30 years, has ever seen for a male and my ratio is off the charts. Look at the details.
Furthermore, my mother is in her mid 80's and I don't think I can keep up with her activity level. My inlaws are only a couple of years younger and leave a very active and fulfilling life. Sixty six? You have many years of happiness ahead of you if you chose to pursue that path.
Furthermore, my mother is in her mid 80's and I don't think I can keep up with her activity level. My inlaws are only a couple of years younger and leave a very active and fulfilling life. Sixty six? You have many years of happiness ahead of you if you chose to pursue that path.
I am active too. Although I have COPD, I go to aerobics 4-6 times a week or golf (weather permitting)
My twin, also a diabetic, died of a heart attack at 58. Maybe I think the same is in store for me?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Rar
I'm sorry you're hurting and feeling hopeless. I know you have type 1 diabetes and I know it can be really hard to manage (totally different from type 2). From the tone of your post you're kinda in a 'my mind is made up' state. I hope tomorrow you will rethink your thinking and try again. Hey, maybe next time have the bread or the potato.....beers kinda the same thing right? Except it's booze and if you're an alcoholic that will just not end well.
Hang in there Rar!
I'm sorry you're hurting and feeling hopeless. I know you have type 1 diabetes and I know it can be really hard to manage (totally different from type 2). From the tone of your post you're kinda in a 'my mind is made up' state. I hope tomorrow you will rethink your thinking and try again. Hey, maybe next time have the bread or the potato.....beers kinda the same thing right? Except it's booze and if you're an alcoholic that will just not end well.
Hang in there Rar!
In fairness, I have to add that my diagnosis last year was 'prediabetes", meaning my glucose was above normal, yet not high enough (according to the American Diabetes Assoc) for an official diagnosis of diabetes) Nonetheless, the treatment is the same. I'm still in prediabetes classification - no meds, just diet and exercise.
I am classified as a Type 2 diabetic.
I am classified as a Type 2 diabetic.
You are alive today Rar. Your test results confirm that too. And most likely you will be alive tomorrow too. I am an expert at health anxiety and catastrophising health concerns, but I can tell you with 100 percent certainty that drinking won't help anything.
There are many ways to improve your medical test results and keep in mind it might take longer than 36 days for your body to heal.
Get rid of the beer and make tomorrow be the day you start getting better.
There are many ways to improve your medical test results and keep in mind it might take longer than 36 days for your body to heal.
Get rid of the beer and make tomorrow be the day you start getting better.
I understand your reaction and it's not trivial - but how does drinking help your health rar?
Most of us get used to the immediate gratification of the bottle.
It was really hard for me to get used to the idea I had to wait for some things and work for others.
I'm younger than you. There's a lot of things I can't eat, and a lot of things I can't do anymore.
I understand the voice that says screw this - but it's a LIAR.
You can have a fun and fulfilling life sober - you just need to believe that Rar.
I hope you'll recommit to recovery because there's nothing for you down the other road - you've been there already.
D
Most of us get used to the immediate gratification of the bottle.
It was really hard for me to get used to the idea I had to wait for some things and work for others.
I'm younger than you. There's a lot of things I can't eat, and a lot of things I can't do anymore.
I understand the voice that says screw this - but it's a LIAR.
You can have a fun and fulfilling life sober - you just need to believe that Rar.
I hope you'll recommit to recovery because there's nothing for you down the other road - you've been there already.
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Rar
Well heck that's good. I thought for sure you mentioned type 1 in the class thread. Have you ever looked at a Ketogenic diet? The impact on the treatment of prediabetes is pretty awesome. And I think, after some time and adaptation, you can 'cycle' which means you can have that bread and potatoes on occasion. I don't eat that stuff because it makes me fat . I just started the Ketogenic diet myself and have been reading all about it. You should google, and of course talk to your dr. But there's mountains of evidence that you could basically cure your condition......and there are tons of recipes for bread and pancakes and waffles and all kinds of carby stuff that are made with coconut flour, thus low carb. I just made chocolate truffles....they were really good. No sugar and very low carb. Anyway, enough of that rant. Don't give up hope. Prediabetes isn't a life sentence I don't think.
Well heck that's good. I thought for sure you mentioned type 1 in the class thread. Have you ever looked at a Ketogenic diet? The impact on the treatment of prediabetes is pretty awesome. And I think, after some time and adaptation, you can 'cycle' which means you can have that bread and potatoes on occasion. I don't eat that stuff because it makes me fat . I just started the Ketogenic diet myself and have been reading all about it. You should google, and of course talk to your dr. But there's mountains of evidence that you could basically cure your condition......and there are tons of recipes for bread and pancakes and waffles and all kinds of carby stuff that are made with coconut flour, thus low carb. I just made chocolate truffles....they were really good. No sugar and very low carb. Anyway, enough of that rant. Don't give up hope. Prediabetes isn't a life sentence I don't think.
Great comment. And, I am a health anxiety expert too and I know how bad news can throw you for a loop. But, as others have said, drinking will always make things worse. Try to focus on today.
@ Frick: Yes, I am likely sometimes, though probably not always in a ketogenic state., though I don't test for ketones. My diabetes is in control (not full blown diabetes) presently because of my carb restriction. I can reach normal numbers through carb restriction, but there is no cure for diabetes (or prediabetes).
Thanks everyone. I have to lick my wounds and talk to my primary doc on Wednesday, though I can predict what he will say "anti depressants and statins" (the standard treatment for old folks).
Rar, please do not give up on yourself. We certainly never will.
I'm glad you're going to see your doc on Wednesday. I'm really glad you posted about what you're going through. You are among friends, and we care.
I'm glad you're going to see your doc on Wednesday. I'm really glad you posted about what you're going through. You are among friends, and we care.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Rar! I wish I had seen this post sooner. I understand, a little, about that disappointment. I also have rising blood sugars despite quitting drinking. Now after 3 months of quitting drinking alone my a1c is at 5.2 and I was also classified prediabetic and I test and my sugars go high despite quitting. I don't know why my sugar goes high yet I have a good a1c. I am afraid of what that means. If I eat anything white my sugars go up and stay up, where they used to come down quicker.
I stayed off the alcohol anyway, I figure why make a bad thing worse?
I stayed off the alcohol anyway, I figure why make a bad thing worse?
Rar,
I am so glad that Sleepie posted cause I know she is going through the same thing.
We all get those "what is the point anyway" moments from time to time for different reasons.
Hope tomorrow will be a better day -- please don't do the guilt thing.
I am so glad that Sleepie posted cause I know she is going through the same thing.
We all get those "what is the point anyway" moments from time to time for different reasons.
Hope tomorrow will be a better day -- please don't do the guilt thing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)