Fabat50

Day 4 or 5 today can't remember which. Blown it. Sitting here getting slowly drunk disgusted with myself. Even the dog is disgusted with me and won't sit with me.

I had my brand new car stolen overnight and had a terrible shock, could not take the kids to school etc and spent the day with the police and insurance and other rubbish... told myself I deserve a drink. But I know that I always find an excuse to drink. Big or small I will find one.

I am pathetic.

PurpleKnight

Is alcohol fixing things? For me alcohol did nothing other than cause more problems, more misery, with the added extra special bonus prize of a hangover in the morning!!

Pour it out, and get back on the wagon!!

Here's the positive, you care, because you're back posting, go at things again and you'll get there but tweak your plan, how about posting BEFORE having that drink!!

You can do this!! SR wants you to beat this and you can!!

Jsbodhi

Oh no!! Even the dog won't come over!! ((( hug)))
My car got stolen this summer and I drank over it too, it didn't help at all, I just had to deal with everything the next day with a ruthless hangover, which wasn't nice as you can imagine.
Maybe pour it out and eat some cake?

maverickspoint

Tough day from the sounds of it, can understand the trigger but at the same time you have posted here so you know it's just a slip and not a plunge. Sleep it off and get going again the next day. It's okay to make mistakes just don't let this be the start of a bad run. Chin up.

zombob

I don't need an excuse to drink Fab. I just think for a split second that it would be nice. And if I act on that thought, less than week later everyone can see it's not so nice. You sound a lot like me and every other alcoholic. Get back on the horse. You're not pathetic--just an alcoholic like the rest of us.

Fabat50

I really do care. And I find this site amazing. I have only just begun to read through the incredible information and resources here... and I spoke to my Psy about the site today and he encouraged me to participate actively.

Next time I will post BEFORE the drink. At least this time I am posting DURING the drink and not the guilty confession the next day! Something slightly ironic about getting drunk whilst reading how to get sober articles.

escapist

Wow. You are going through a lot. Five days sober is a good. Don't give up. Drinking about hard times doesn't make them softer and it makes it harder to come up with a solution for your problems. You can't fight with your hands tied and that's what happens when you try to wisely confront adversity with a buzz on. That's what it's like for me. Be strong. Five days is really great.

alphaomega

Oh goodness I used to do that. I would start out convincing myself that I would only have a glass or maybe two of wine.

A few hours later, two bottles would be polished off and I'd be contemplating opening a third.

I drank for any reason whatsoever. Good, bad and anything in between. I didn't need a reason. I needed a drink.

If you can find the strength to stop the ball that is already rolling down the hill, you would be better served tomorrow morning.

Stay close and lean on us.

Fabat50

Just a stupid (drunken) anecdote. I bought my dog as a puppy last Xmas. It was one of my " I am going to get fit, sober and healthy and walk through the vineyards breathing healthy air every day" moments. Then when he was 3 months old I took him out late one night for his potty, I was drunk, fell over him, fell off the terrace and ended up with a double fracture left leg in plaster for 3 months. I swear that he now senses when I have drunk too much and he avoids me. He is an amazing dog.

Jsbodhi

Yeah they can tell for sure, I notice animals become uneasy around me or anyone else who is intoxicated, you can sense their uneasiness.
What kind of dog?
I also severely sprained my ankle this summer because I was drunk and fell, I couldn't walk for almost two weeks and it's still not better, I tore two major ligaments and hit my head.
That was my first alcohol related injury, not cool.

Fabat50

Golden retriever. My first alcohol related injury too. Pretty humiliating. I tried to hide it but the ambulance guys must have seen I wasn't in a great shape.
You have a dog?

Jsbodhi

Oh I love golden retrievers, I've always wanted one!
I don't have a dog right now, I used to have a great pyrenees, I loved him like a brother.
Yeah I was really embarrassed too, I still am :/

I have always felt a little bit safe because the only real problems I've suffered from alcohol are social and self esteem wise, no DUI's etc; but after that fall and really bad injury, I thought to myself " so here it comes, it's all downhill from here, this is what everyone is talking about when they day it hasn't happened 'yet'"
I was wondering what was next, better stop while I'm ahead, wine isn't worth that much to me.
I've joined here last nov and it's only now that I've finally had enough, it's taken me a year....

Zebra1275

Tomorrow when you wake up you will be hung over.

And your car will still be stolen.

How did drinking help the situation?


I've been down similiar paths myself in the past. Me and my buddy Jim Beam never solved any problems, in fact I think we just made them worse.

So, what's your plan to get sober?

I know it's not for everybody, but I got desperate enough that I actually went to an AA meeting. I'm glad I did.

Fabat50

I live in a major wine region in France. Here people drink period. You drink too much? Whatever... this is Southern Europe... Latin... people don't care about excessive drinking.. drink driving... culturally... it's the norm. I went to the one AA meeting here which is held the first Tuesday of the month and sat with a homeless guy, a mentally deranged woman and another person... yes just the 4 of us. We listened to the guy at the front "talking" and I believe he was stoned. I will never go back.

(But I totally agree with you... drinking will not bring my car back not help me resolve my problems efficiently)

Jsbodhi

AA isn't for everyone, you just gotta find out what works for you.
I've been to AA and I felt like it just made me want to drink, but I'll stop in every once in a while to listen to a speaker because I like listening to people tell stories
What do you do? What helps you?

Carver

You're not pathetic. You've already learned what NOT to do next time you get a big shock

Getting sober requires learning how to live differently, and you're doing that. Stay close to SR, it's a life-saver.

ScottFromWI

I think the question was what WILL work for you, not what WON'T work? There are online AA meetings if you'd like to use AA but your local meeting isn't to your liking. There are also a plethora of self help and self paced recovery methods you might look into. Bottom line, drinking isn't helping anything.

Fabat50

I guess I need to really find what works for me. But at the moment this is the first time in 3 décades I have decided "FOR REAL THIS TIME" that I want to stop. I have found an amazing psychiatrist specialised in addiction and it is already helping me a lot. With his help, this site, and also someone here spoke to me about AA help on line in the UK which I am looking into...(and Scott in his previous post mentioned it too) I think I can do it.

JD

If AA doesn't work for you try AVART or SMART recovery. You can Google those. I also found livingsobersucks.com to be helpful.

Hevyn

I'm so sorry about the car, Fabat. It takes us a while, but we do eventually realize that drinking solves nothing & just causes more anxiety. Good that you wanted to discuss what happened.