The drink is the meaning
 

Hi! So I wanted to share a thought I've been having lately because it's so true for me and I wanted to know if it was true for anyone else ...

I think there are some people, and I'm one of them, for whom alcohol becomes the meaning of things. For this kind of person the problem is that, when drinking, there's no space for anything else to mean something or to matter.

On a small scale, when I'm drinking at a particular event, I lose all interest in creating fun or creating connections with people. Getting another drink is the only thing that resonates as important or worthwhile. I no longer have the ability to search for other ways to engage with the event. Alcohol is not a part of the event; it's all there is.

On a larger scale, when I'm drinking, I lose interest in creating activities, setting goals, or forging connections with people, in general. Getting drunk again is the only thing that resonates as important or worthwhile. I no longer have the ability to search for other ways to engage with LIFE. Alcohol isn't a part of life, it's all there is.

Thinking about this helps me when I start to, as Dee would say, confuse abstinence for control--you know, when I have those, "I'm okay now, I can have a few drinks," kind of thoughts. Because even if I can drink moderately a time or two, I know I'll be back to seeing the whole world as empty except for the bottles. That's how I end up feeling totally shallow, worthless, and meaningless, because when I'm drinking I kind of am; there really is no meaning there. It's an illusion of meaning. And the only way to make the mirage go away is to be sober, permanently.

I just hope I don't forget this because it's so true. I can either drink, or do literally anything else. Not both.

I don't know if anyone relates to this.

Sounds like an accurate description of my drinking career, nothing else mattered and I'd become obsessive over nothing else other than alcohol.

Life got a whole lot more straight forward when I got Sober, no more energy spent on planning my drinking, thinking about drinking, I could start to focus on other things, rekindle old hobbies and interests, I found a lot more time in my week to do other things.

If we could spend soo much time and energy when it came to drinking, imagine what we can achieve in Sobriety!! :)

Oh my gosh I so relate to this. What a great way to put it. And then you realize life is just the times in between drinking.

yes alcohol becomes the reason to live, it totally consumes and controls you. A wicked hideous dangerous poison that only destroys and does nothing good.

Yep! Alcohol was my one and only obsession. I'm so glad to be free of that obsession now! :)

Yes I agree. Even when I was busy doing something getting something to drink later was always on my mind. Just thinking about that made me feel better and not depressed. It gave me initiative to get things done just so I could reward myself after with drinking. Mowing the lawn was my favorite. I would spend time thinking about where to get it, what, and how much, the time of the day. It really does consume your thinking.

Great job Help the joys of today technology is you can print this post out & keep it in your wallet or get a folder for your posts that will help you remember

A great way to keep it fresh is keep a journal ?

On a small scale, when I'm drinking at a particular event, I lose all interest in creating fun or creating connections with people. Getting another drink is the only thing that resonates as important or worthwhile. I no longer have the ability to search for other ways to engage with the event. Alcohol is not a part of the event; it's all there is.

On a larger scale, when I'm drinking, I lose interest in creating activities, setting goals, or forging connections with people, in general. Getting drunk again is the only thing that resonates as important or worthwhile. I no longer have the ability to search for other ways to engage with LIFE. Alcohol isn't a part of life, it's all there is.

Was it true for me? Absolutely, yes! Honestly, I think your comments above describe exactly what it means to be an alcoholic. Well said.....and it is amazing to be free of feeling this way.

true. I'm currently in that cycle again. not really a conscious decision (other than I DID choose to pick up about a month ago)but it does come before everything else and is the only way I can Do anything else. was at a bonfire last night with other heavy drinkers sharing how I have to get a couple of American honey's in me just to make coffee and then a few more To feel able to face the day.realized immediately how ludicrous it did sound but I got up this morning and did the same thing. I need a lobotomy..

I can totally relate to this way of thinking. Part of the reason I don't want to drink anymore. I am so tired of the obsession.

You know, I never related my feeling that drinking becomes the meaning of my life when I do it, to what other people call "the obsession." It's good to know that's what some people mean when they say that. I always thought that most alcoholics were obsessed with drinking, but still had other stuff they cared something about, whereas I feel like when I drink, it's all that really matters. Like, so many people hold down jobs for years drunk. I had to quit after 4.5 years in the work force or else I'd have been fired, because I put progressively less into my job as I put progressives more into drinking.

Yep, I totally relate.

Earlier on in life, it wasn't quite as powerful... It was more like nothing was really any fun or good or had any meaning without alcohol. I really sought meaning and connection and experience - but it all had to be woven together with drugs or booze. Preferably both.

But then somewhere along the way, some dark black switch was thrown and it became like you describe. The meaning was the obliteration. The booze was what mattered and I only went through the motions with anything else; all merely a backdrop for the drink.