This First Saturday Night
 

I was very excited about getting to my day 7 and so why do I feel so irritable? Angry? Useless? Hopeless? I just want to give up. I feel so so lonely. Unlikeable and unlovable. I just don't know what the point is right now.
It's hard for me to even read the positive threads here tonight. This is the first time I've felt that. I hate to use the word suicidal because I don't want you guys to think I'm in that kind of danger (I'm not.) But really that is the best word. Like a big black hole in my chest.

Day 7 is still early, some people are still going through withdrawals until day 10. It is good your here reading, I was where you are now it is not fun, make note of everything so you can read back just how you feel. This will help immensely when you get cravings in the future, when your guard is down and your feeling good.

Hang in there, Ohme, because things will get better for you. Anger and irritability are common and normal for the first week, first month(s), and year! We are all different, but I can tell you that I had rage, anger, depression, anxiety for the first year or so. It does work itself out in time though. The key is not to pick up that drink. Fight it through for now, do whatever it takes. Have you read up on PAWS yet? Post acute withdrawal syndrome. It helped me to educate myself on all the possible symptoms and downfalls I was navigating early on, because if you are aware, then you are much less likely to cave in when it gets rough.

Also, find some things you can do to get your mind off the negatives. Distraction can be a very healthy thing in the early days. Find some things with which to calm, soothe, and entertain yourself.

You can do this :)

I went to an AA meeting tonight. I was wondering what your views on AA were, and I found this:

I'm fighting it too ohme. Maybe it's Saturday night. Maybe it's early withdrawals. Maybe it's the moon. Maybe I'm looking at everything through a magnifying glass and it seems much bigger than it is. I don't know. Just know you're not the only one.

My first Saturday was so hard ... it was day 7 for me too ... just seemed like a big yawning abyss in front of me, and I didn't know how I was going to get through it. Not just Saturday night, but the rest of my life sober.

I tried to remember I didn't have to tackle the rest of my life, just this one evening. Or maybe just an hour at a time.

Just know that you're not alone. Maybe find one small thing you can do this evening -- something to read, soothing music, a bath, anything that would comfort you? It does get easier with time.

That's what scares me too, So this is it, sober and then what...no more pubs, parties etc...I think once we get past a few weeks this will not even be an issue to think about. I have friends who don't drink and always been to parties where I been. They have had a ball like everybody else...its re programming the brain not to associate fun=alcohol...

Absolutely! Now when I get together with friends, I am comfortable doing it sober and I don't want or miss alcohol. That wasn't true at first ... it took time and effort.

The first couple of months, the dinner hour was absolute hell. How was I supposed to cook dinner without opening a bottle of wine? A year later, I can honestly say I do not even think about it when I start to cook now ... the problem has been removed.

I can not wait for that to happen!!! Congrats...

Day 7 is fantastic Ohme, Saturday is just another day, hope you made it through!! :)

Thank you purple night and everyone who was posting last night. If there was wine or beer on the house I wouldn't have made it or if I didn't have this forum to keep me accountable. I wrote to a new psycologist last night my old one is no longer at the email I have for her. (And wasn't covered by me benefits). Tomorrow is thanksgiving and day 9 oops I got a little happy writing that :P I NEVER thought I could do this long. Bad feelings are there whether I drink or not it seems so now that I don't have booze stopping me I can start working on them.

Ps I also read up on PAWS like soberpotamus recommended and it was a huge huge eye opener. I thought it would be a few days before I felt even again but that made me realize I need a few months. So double thanks :)

I would say you might feel good in a few days the thing with the PAWS is it will sneak up and get ya when you have your guard down. Just be vigilant and know it takes a while. I am nine months dry and my dr just told me last week my body still has much healing to do.

What a terrific thread - so sorry I missed this last night. Such good advice and encouragement for Ohme.

Those first few weeks are tough going, no way around it. I drank for decades, & in the early days of quitting I had a terrible fear of missing out. Drinking wasn't an option, as I was slowly killing myself. But I was so afraid of never enjoying anything again. Maybe because I'd never given myself chance to react to things normally, without my 'buffer'. As children we had great times without having to be anesthetized - and we can do it again. You're in the process of reclaiming your life, ohme - and you're doing great.

Removing alcohol from you life will allow some genuine emotions and feelings to surface. At the moment, you may have days in a row in which you feel cheated, or missing out...almost anything. But I believe you will level out after awhile and it can be very pleasant. Even enjoyable!

This past 8 days has not been without its enjoyable moments. For one thing I have been a little less shy about sharing my desire to not drink with my family and friends this go around and they have been way more supportive than I expected. Even the drinking ones are pulling for me and trying to be there and even thinking of the same for themselves. And though it is an obvious one, WAKING UP with no hangover! Or not even a hangover but just regret and disappointment. So it's not all bad. But the AV can definitely talk you out of that thinking fast. That's why this place being available 24/7 has been the lifesaver for me. :thanks

you're doing great, Ohme!