Here I go again
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 37
Here I go again
I've been battling this " affliction " since I was 18 years old .... *( I'm 48 now ) I've come to the point where I either beat it or submit and become homeless. been to rehab, AA, group therapy, everything you can think of.. but always end up picking up again. there's a part of me that wants to think I'm not really "sick ',, but the reality tells a whole different story.. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and being a burden to others.. there was a time when friends would come to me for advice, but those day's are long gone.. I'm not ready to give up yet..
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Since you're not ready to give up yet, you've come to a place where you can find lots of support. This disease will take everything from us if we allow it, so I'm glad you are continuing to work on your sobriety.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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I may ramble on tonight .. hope I don't offend ,,, like I said before I've been battling this for a long time, but for the first time ( in 30 years ) I do not feel ashamed for what I am.. I am ready to embrace and accept ( big book ) what I am.. this problem isn't a joke.. it is a life threatening ailment.. people die from this every day..
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Join Date: Sep 2015
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I don't mean to sound negative from my past post's .. I guess Ive finally had my " moment of clarity, or spiritual awakening " or maybe I finally killed off the brain cells that were making me nuts.. lol.. I just know that ,this time something is different..
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Originally Posted by 1ANDDONE616 
I've been battling this " affliction " since I was 18 years old .... *( I'm 48 now ) I've come to the point where I either beat it or submit and become homeless. been to rehab, AA, group therapy, everything you can think of.. but always end up picking up again. there's a part of me that wants to think I'm not really "sick ',, but the reality tells a whole different story.. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and being a burden to others.. there was a time when friends would come to me for advice, but those day's are long gone.. I'm not ready to give up yet..
Sounds to me like you are a STICKLER!
I've been accused of that very same thing in my line of work! Many people like that quality, but some don't...
My motto again: "Quit and never quit quitting" and that helps me get through the day...
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Originally Posted by 1ANDDONE616
I don't mean to sound negative from my past post's .. I guess Ive finally had my " moment of clarity, or spiritual awakening " or maybe I finally killed off the brain cells that were making me nuts.. lol.. I just know that ,this time something is different..
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 397
Welcome 1andDone. I've tried many things too to quit drinking, and have always returned. Like you, the urgency of quitting is really weighing on me. It feels like a ton of bricks. The only thing to do is make the decision to quit and stick to it.
Glad you're here.
Glad you're here.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Welcome, 1anddone! Alcoholism really messes with our brains and so many of us feel ashamed, weak-willed, etc. it's not a walk in the park for many of us but it can be done. It takes not only hard work and a willingness to accept what is, but all of the experience of those who have worked on this can help immeasurably when we battle our own demons.
Some of the key things I've seen: acknowledging that we need help, posting here when we have cravings for support in successfully getting through them, being willing to do whatever it takes!
You may find that joining the Class of October 2015 may be helpful for you. There you will find others at a similar stage as you are.
Good luck!
Some of the key things I've seen: acknowledging that we need help, posting here when we have cravings for support in successfully getting through them, being willing to do whatever it takes!
You may find that joining the Class of October 2015 may be helpful for you. There you will find others at a similar stage as you are.
Good luck!
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
It's so good to have you with us, 1anddone. 
You'll find this to be a place you can be yourself. It really helped relieve my anxiety to be here, among those who truly understood what I was going through.
I got a later start than you, but I also drank 30 yrs. There was a time I couldn't imagine my life without it. Things would be so boring and unfun. Instead of working on why I felt the need to get numb, I just kept going. In the end I was drinking all day and in a constant fog. My early drinking euphoria was gone, and never coming back. I was dependent on it to get through the day, but there was no joy or hope left in my life. We don't need it. You can get free. Glad you are here. Keep talking to us.
You'll find this to be a place you can be yourself. It really helped relieve my anxiety to be here, among those who truly understood what I was going through.I got a later start than you, but I also drank 30 yrs. There was a time I couldn't imagine my life without it. Things would be so boring and unfun. Instead of working on why I felt the need to get numb, I just kept going. In the end I was drinking all day and in a constant fog. My early drinking euphoria was gone, and never coming back. I was dependent on it to get through the day, but there was no joy or hope left in my life. We don't need it. You can get free. Glad you are here. Keep talking to us.
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 37
this is the first time I joined a forum.. ( always been a little tech illiterate ,, more of a hands on guy ).. I appreciate the quick and positive response's I've received from you all.. thank you ,, looking forward to making this one of my main tools in my search for true sobriety..
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
learning
We are all lifelong learners, every last one of us. I think you might be surprised to find just how many people have real compassion and empathy. But only you can decide when will be the right time to test that out. The first step is to honest with yourself and sometimes that is also the hardest step. Best of luck! Take care...
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
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Originally Posted by 1ANDDONE616
I may ramble on tonight .. hope I don't offend ,,, like I said before I've been battling this for a long time, but for the first time ( in 30 years ) I do not feel ashamed for what I am.. I am ready to embrace and accept ( big book ) what I am.. this problem isn't a joke.. it is a life threatening ailment.. people die from this every day..
SHAME is a major MILESTONE to get past. I have found that it is SHAME that often holds a person back from asking for and getting the help they really need. So, I had to overcome that somehow and it took some courage but I had to somehow LET GO of the shame before I could seek out that help. So whenever I am the one on the helping side of it, I try to understand how the person asking for help might be feeling ashamed and then I am filled with compassion which is then reflected in my actions.
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