Class of October 2015 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
I have a wedding rehearsal last night. I posted in other forums about it and about how scared I am about it. This disease is the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. Nobody truly understands how you feel unless you are an alcoholic trying to stay sober and work on recovery. My AV kept saying "but, but, but" and tried to throw me a pity party while the drinks were flowing. That was the hardest part. Once we ate it was over, drinks stopped. Phew wish that AV would choke on something for the love of Christ,
Tonight will be a whole new demon. I love love love music. It's in my soul. I was a performer for Gods sake! When I hear it it is something I can't control! I feel it all through me. Drinks will be flowing heavy. My husbands side are big drinkers. I am crying I am so nervous about this. I know I won't drink but unless you've been an alcoholic you won't understand no matter how I explain it. My husband tries and he stands by me but he can't take away this terrible feeling. I panic, shake, fearful, utter despair feeling, complete sadness. Even those words don't describe the death grip feeling I get. Please pray for me. For my 82 days this will be the biggest test I've had by far going to this wedding and huge party after. I have to go...its family. Help me Lord. ((Hug)) to y'all stay sober! Fight the hell out of this damn addiction!
Tonight will be a whole new demon. I love love love music. It's in my soul. I was a performer for Gods sake! When I hear it it is something I can't control! I feel it all through me. Drinks will be flowing heavy. My husbands side are big drinkers. I am crying I am so nervous about this. I know I won't drink but unless you've been an alcoholic you won't understand no matter how I explain it. My husband tries and he stands by me but he can't take away this terrible feeling. I panic, shake, fearful, utter despair feeling, complete sadness. Even those words don't describe the death grip feeling I get. Please pray for me. For my 82 days this will be the biggest test I've had by far going to this wedding and huge party after. I have to go...its family. Help me Lord. ((Hug)) to y'all stay sober! Fight the hell out of this damn addiction!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,131
Hi gang, starting day (11). I have a lot of work around the house so I'll keep busy today.
I'm going to be away from SR for a bit. I'm absolutely pushing forward with sobriety. Again, I haven't had a drink in October in the past years and that has taken me to nearly 3 months of sobriety, though I keep coming up short.
I'm feeling confident but It's now time to put an addition plan together. I really want to make 'til the new year. And while I love SR I know it's enough for me anymore by itself.
So, keep up the good work gang!
I'm going to be away from SR for a bit. I'm absolutely pushing forward with sobriety. Again, I haven't had a drink in October in the past years and that has taken me to nearly 3 months of sobriety, though I keep coming up short.
I'm feeling confident but It's now time to put an addition plan together. I really want to make 'til the new year. And while I love SR I know it's enough for me anymore by itself.
So, keep up the good work gang!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,134
Just checking on a Saturday - all's good here and coming up on one week without alcohol. I hope everyone keeps in touch here even if struggling. We've all been there and those Day 1's are no fun, but let go of the shame and get back on the horse.
I'm feeling upbeat this morning after having attended a two hour yoga workshop last night with live music. Hard to beat that kind of bliss for a Friday night. Good Saturday to all!
I'm feeling upbeat this morning after having attended a two hour yoga workshop last night with live music. Hard to beat that kind of bliss for a Friday night. Good Saturday to all!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 193
Good morning people. (well, in a few minutes it will be noon)
Just checking in. Starting day 2. Already my body is craving it....like I can feel how I would feel if I drank...I'm already having those thoughts about "what if" or "maybe I could..." and so on. So this is the time for me to pick up a book and just read those thoughts away, I think....
Good luck to you all!!
Key - I wish you much success and strength with this - you can absolutely do it.
Neverthough - I wish you well in your recovery plan
Juno - two hour yoga workshop sounds amazing - and a totally wise thing to do!! SO much better than drinking...
Everyone else - loooooovvveee yoooouuuuuuu!! :P
Just checking in. Starting day 2. Already my body is craving it....like I can feel how I would feel if I drank...I'm already having those thoughts about "what if" or "maybe I could..." and so on. So this is the time for me to pick up a book and just read those thoughts away, I think....
Good luck to you all!!
Key - I wish you much success and strength with this - you can absolutely do it.
Neverthough - I wish you well in your recovery plan
Juno - two hour yoga workshop sounds amazing - and a totally wise thing to do!! SO much better than drinking...
Everyone else - loooooovvveee yoooouuuuuuu!! :P
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 29
Hey all- Today is my 6th day without alcohol and the hardest. I think because its beautiful out and its Saturday and we all know how that goes. I went to my first AA meeting on Thursday and I was scared to death. It was really nice though to sit in a room full of people just like me. Today I am going to concentrate on playing the tape through and also how good I feel. Somehow also in just 6 days I have more confidence already.
Professional zombie fighter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Hello!
I haven't been on in a while. It's crazy to say it, but I've been dang busy for a person with only a part time job :p Mostly family stuff and taking care of responsibilities I let slide a long one while drunk--like five years of taxes.
I read all the posts I missed, tho. So much good conversation! I take a screenshot every time I read something super helpful on SR, and I took 43 as I went through the class posts I missed.
I know it's days late in some cases, but I wanted to respond to a few things ... (I feel better about my sobriety when I'm at least making some effort to be a member of the SR community)
Like Kelly saying she has a purple pixie cut! That sounds adorable! I'm dead of adorable. Also, CONGRATS on your sober day among drunk family. That's amazing.
And hello to all the new people, I counted like 10 since I last read the thread. I counted like 10 since I last read this thread.
Also nmd (I think it was you) you posted about having a "plan z." That's an awesome idea. Do you have a link to where that idea came from? I'd like to know more.
And Max, Walk, it's amazing that you're getting right back on the horse. I wish if done that, the last time I slipped after some sober time. (Also Max, glad you're still here!)
Layali, you too; and also, that plan sounds great! For me, having an extensive plan helps both in and of itself (because I feel like I'M in control now, not my addiction; or because I feel like I've got something to lose; idk) AND it helps because the stuff in the plan is helpful :p That's awesome. Also I'm jealous you have a women for sobriety meeting near you.
Nmd, I also wanted to comment on the poem you linked to--I may not drink anymore, but Bukowski is still a favorite of mine. His novel "Factotum" shows how he can both be a chronic unapologetic alcoholic, and believe ghe stuff he says in The Laughing Heart. It's such a good book. I recommend it for anyone who isn't triggered by depictions of people drinking. But then there's his poem "The Ice Cream People." It's pretty much the only thing he wrote about a time in his life he was trying to stay sober (for health reasons). It sticks in the head in a big way. It's a great little poem.
BixBees, I want to hear about your "non-hermit" weekend ... ! I too am a hermit who probably needs to shamelessly borrow ideas for hobbies and interests, and to act as if had stuff to be doing along those lines :p Let us know how it goes.
Neverthought, I wish you the best with your new plan, though do heck back in sometimes. I've screens hotter s lot of your posts
As for me, I spent my own sober time among drunk family last night.
It was a wedding rehearsal dinner, so I know a tiny bit of what you're facing, KeyofC. My family are huge drinkers when together. They brought in cases and cases of near and crates of bottles of liquor last night, since the venue that my cousin chose was dry. They didn't give a damn that the bride and groom chose a dry venue.
I wasn't tempted to join them. For the second time, being around people drinking didn't make me tempted, it just made me a little mournful and nostalgic. Like, I sure wish I were somebody who could join them. But I'm not. Boo. But on the other hand, I have so much faith (which I owe entirely to this website) that a time will come when I don't mourn that.
Tonight is the wedding and wedding reception. My plan to have my own escape vehicle failed, because I didn't have the gas money to take my own car four hours to the town where we are for the wedding weekend.
But I'm not worried. I have a whole plan written out and highlighted, and I have the SR app. And video games on my phone if it's a matter of being bored among the drunk people. Plants vs. Zombies is more fun than getting wasted and confessing to my heteronormative uncle that I'm bisexual, anyway (which I once drunkenly and combatively did, lolz).
I haven't been on in a while. It's crazy to say it, but I've been dang busy for a person with only a part time job :p Mostly family stuff and taking care of responsibilities I let slide a long one while drunk--like five years of taxes.
I read all the posts I missed, tho. So much good conversation! I take a screenshot every time I read something super helpful on SR, and I took 43 as I went through the class posts I missed.
I know it's days late in some cases, but I wanted to respond to a few things ... (I feel better about my sobriety when I'm at least making some effort to be a member of the SR community)
Like Kelly saying she has a purple pixie cut! That sounds adorable! I'm dead of adorable. Also, CONGRATS on your sober day among drunk family. That's amazing.
And hello to all the new people, I counted like 10 since I last read the thread. I counted like 10 since I last read this thread.
Also nmd (I think it was you) you posted about having a "plan z." That's an awesome idea. Do you have a link to where that idea came from? I'd like to know more.
And Max, Walk, it's amazing that you're getting right back on the horse. I wish if done that, the last time I slipped after some sober time. (Also Max, glad you're still here!)
Layali, you too; and also, that plan sounds great! For me, having an extensive plan helps both in and of itself (because I feel like I'M in control now, not my addiction; or because I feel like I've got something to lose; idk) AND it helps because the stuff in the plan is helpful :p That's awesome. Also I'm jealous you have a women for sobriety meeting near you.
Nmd, I also wanted to comment on the poem you linked to--I may not drink anymore, but Bukowski is still a favorite of mine. His novel "Factotum" shows how he can both be a chronic unapologetic alcoholic, and believe ghe stuff he says in The Laughing Heart. It's such a good book. I recommend it for anyone who isn't triggered by depictions of people drinking. But then there's his poem "The Ice Cream People." It's pretty much the only thing he wrote about a time in his life he was trying to stay sober (for health reasons). It sticks in the head in a big way. It's a great little poem.
BixBees, I want to hear about your "non-hermit" weekend ... ! I too am a hermit who probably needs to shamelessly borrow ideas for hobbies and interests, and to act as if had stuff to be doing along those lines :p Let us know how it goes.
Neverthought, I wish you the best with your new plan, though do heck back in sometimes. I've screens hotter s lot of your posts
As for me, I spent my own sober time among drunk family last night.
It was a wedding rehearsal dinner, so I know a tiny bit of what you're facing, KeyofC. My family are huge drinkers when together. They brought in cases and cases of near and crates of bottles of liquor last night, since the venue that my cousin chose was dry. They didn't give a damn that the bride and groom chose a dry venue.
I wasn't tempted to join them. For the second time, being around people drinking didn't make me tempted, it just made me a little mournful and nostalgic. Like, I sure wish I were somebody who could join them. But I'm not. Boo. But on the other hand, I have so much faith (which I owe entirely to this website) that a time will come when I don't mourn that.
Tonight is the wedding and wedding reception. My plan to have my own escape vehicle failed, because I didn't have the gas money to take my own car four hours to the town where we are for the wedding weekend.
But I'm not worried. I have a whole plan written out and highlighted, and I have the SR app. And video games on my phone if it's a matter of being bored among the drunk people. Plants vs. Zombies is more fun than getting wasted and confessing to my heteronormative uncle that I'm bisexual, anyway (which I once drunkenly and combatively did, lolz).
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: sydney nsw
Posts: 785
Sunday morning and day 6. Yesterday was very hard but I said to myself this is the big test and I have chosen not to drink, I can, but I have chosen not to for the reasons of changing my life, getting healthy and the promise I made to myself.
And I made it!! Now I know what I can expect from the next weekends. I actually had fun yesterday, got so much done during the day. The hardest was walking past pubs were people were sitting laughing drinking and having fun. I said to myself, I bet there is at least one person like me in each pub who will regret this moment and feel like I used to on Sunday morning...Thanks SR you again for all the support over the weekend.
Slept like a baby and only woke up once. My dreams are getting vivid and feeling so so much better than a week ago. A week ago I was sneaking wine in a coffee cup this time in the morning. Today I have coffee in my cup.
And I made it!! Now I know what I can expect from the next weekends. I actually had fun yesterday, got so much done during the day. The hardest was walking past pubs were people were sitting laughing drinking and having fun. I said to myself, I bet there is at least one person like me in each pub who will regret this moment and feel like I used to on Sunday morning...Thanks SR you again for all the support over the weekend.
Slept like a baby and only woke up once. My dreams are getting vivid and feeling so so much better than a week ago. A week ago I was sneaking wine in a coffee cup this time in the morning. Today I have coffee in my cup.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 4
Hello everybody, name's Daniel, had what I hope to be my last beer a few days ago. I drank to ease college anxiety and lonelinesss. I'll be going to grad school for my Masters in Library Science sometime this year or next, don't know what I'll do then.
But that's enough complaining. Here to meet some of my fellows in recovery.
But that's enough complaining. Here to meet some of my fellows in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Originally Posted by maximus97 
Thanks much Dee. You are right.
I have AA meetings, I have countless numbers to call. I have the support here, as well. I do want to quit drinking, for good. And all the support helps. For me, when I get that crazy urge to drink, there is no talking me out of it. Hell or highwater. Its just that way with me. There must be something really lacking in me though, cause these things work for others.
I guess the bottom line seems to be, I really don't want to quit? My rational mind says yes, my body says yes. I can't believe how often I keep failing. Its tiresome, to say the least.
I think staying sober means to me, in my life, everything else has to change up. That in itself, is going to be the key, for me, I know. And I still can't seem to come to terms, with my life. So, I need much to change I think.
Thanks Dee. I'm going to continue to keep working on it.
I have AA meetings, I have countless numbers to call. I have the support here, as well. I do want to quit drinking, for good. And all the support helps. For me, when I get that crazy urge to drink, there is no talking me out of it. Hell or highwater. Its just that way with me. There must be something really lacking in me though, cause these things work for others.
I guess the bottom line seems to be, I really don't want to quit? My rational mind says yes, my body says yes. I can't believe how often I keep failing. Its tiresome, to say the least.
I think staying sober means to me, in my life, everything else has to change up. That in itself, is going to be the key, for me, I know. And I still can't seem to come to terms, with my life. So, I need much to change I think.
Thanks Dee. I'm going to continue to keep working on it.
Good to see you back here despite your slip.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2015
Posts: 506
Key and Help: I'll be thinking of you this evening. You can do it, I know you can!! It's great that you're on here talking about it beforehand and mentally you have prepared yourselves. I know in the morning you will not regret not drinking. Check in here if you need us!
Max: glad to see you back
Neverthought: you're sounding strong! I'm excited for you!! I will miss your posts. You make me laugh : ) please check back in when you can!
Daniel: welcome! Glad to have you here!
I hope your dinner goes well tonight, Rio! Maybe even better than you expected.
Max: glad to see you back
Neverthought: you're sounding strong! I'm excited for you!! I will miss your posts. You make me laugh : ) please check back in when you can!
Daniel: welcome! Glad to have you here!
I hope your dinner goes well tonight, Rio! Maybe even better than you expected.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
